The 3 principles of happiness...

[Satya]

After some reflection I believe there are ultimately 3 principles by which if a person lives their life, they can obtain happiness.

1. The principle of the boomerang: The world will almost never give you more than you are willing to give it. If you are cold and heartless, then others will be cold and heartless right back. But if you are fair and nurturing, then you may find others to be much more fair and nurturing. Trust in your own goodness and you will find the goodness in others. Most philosophers have understood the golden rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and the much simpler, "Love thy neighbor".

2. The principle of attraction: What we seek from the world will not find us, we must actively seek it. If you look around yourself right now for all the things that are red, you may realize for the first time how many red things that you have never noticed before. Our ability to focus brings out a hidden world of possibilities. If you wish to be wise, then seek the wisdom in the world and you will find opportunities to learn and practice wisdom. If you wish to be rich, then seek wealth and you will find opportunities to obtain great wealth that you may have otherwise missed. The secret is to know what you want and to live to obtain it. As Ghandi would say, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Live to be true to yourself and what you want from life and the world will change before your very eyes.

3. The principle of salvation: Perhaps the most difficult thing in life is to let go. The past is determined and the future is uncertain, so the only power you will ever have resides in the present. If you try to live in the past, then it will anchor you down and you will never to be able to grow. You need to be able to forgive the mistakes of others and the mistakes you have made and seek to learn from them. You can never change the past. If you worry endlessly about the future, then you will never take the risks you need to live. You can never predict what the future holds. All you can do is live in the here and now and have faith that things will turn out for the best. But even if they don't, then you will have lived a life of no regrets because you at least tried. Just learn to accept things as they are without trying to change them. The only thing you can truly change is yourself. The world is as is it. If you are true to yourself and what you want, then the world will change when it is ready and not a moment sooner. Trying to impose your values and beliefs on the world will embitter you and eventually make you a hypocrite and laughingstock. It's best to just live and let live and allow those who wish to control the lives of others to set the foundation of their own despair. "C'est la vie", such is life.

 

[Poetic Justice]

I partially disagree with number 3. It helps to have a goal for the future. I don't say worry about the future but you should certainly plan for it. I think about the future quite a bit and it works for me.

I would add another one to this and that is:

4. Be the cause, not the effect: Most of the really unhappy people I know seem to blame everyone else for what is wrong in their lives. they believe they are suffering the effects of others actions. It is better to blame (or congratulate) yourself for what is happening in your life. Be the cause of your situation. take control of your own life. Instead of blaming someone else for you not having a job or not fitting in. blame yourself. look at what you can do differently to find a job. look at what you can do differently to fit in. The only persons behaviour you can be sure of changing is your own. YOU decide whether or not you are happy.

 

[NeverAmI]

Yes, self-accountability/discipline is important imo. But you could say that anyone who looks to blame everyone beyond themselves for their own problems and situations falls into that first category of the boomerang, don't expect more than what you give.

Your personal demeanor influences how the world reacts to you much of the time.

 

[Poetic Justice]

Sort of. I thought of that and read number 1 carefully to be sure thats not what he meant. I don't think it is

You can treat people well but still blame them for your problems

 

[enfp can be shy]

Then a kid with disability does not deserve to breathe, because it cannot, on its own. And the tribe baby, who could be raised to become a neuroscientist deserves to spend its life on hunting and fishing, because that's what it can offer. The truth is noone has anything to offer of their own, so they also deserve nothing. Some people pretend they offer things of theirs, which are never their in the first place. Such traditional teachings are just how to accept the status quo as it is, and keep blaming yourself.

Refering to: "Just learn to accept things as they are without trying to change them."

 

[testing]

Love it!

# 2's an interesting one -- focus and attraction. There's something to this, truly, but not necessarily in the magical/new agey way, more a matter of filtering and awareness.

I have also been wondering about the effects of randomness on our lives and happiness. We so like to control things, and things aren't always controllable. Random things happen.

(Am trying to focus on a huge project at the moment, otherwise I would elaborate further!)

 

[Poetic Justice]

Then a kid with disability does not deserve to breathe, because it cannot, on its own. And the tribe baby, who could be raised to become a neuroscientist deserves to spend its life on hunting and fishing, because that's what it can offer. The truth is noone has anything to offer of their own, so they also deserve nothing. Some people pretend they offer things of theirs, which are never their in the first place. Such traditional teachings are just how to accept the status quo as it is, and keep blaming yourself.

Refering to: "Just learn to accept things as they are without trying to change them."

I don't think thats what he meant. Acceptance is very important for happiness. That doesn't mean you should accept everything. You cannot not change your environment. Just by walking down the street you are influencing people whether you and they know it or not.

I think what he means is to learn to pick your battles. there are some things that are out of your control so worrying about them isn't going to do any good.

Some people are horrible. If you set yourself the task of changing that you will fail and make yourself miserable at the same time. The best you can do is not be horrible yourself and hope it catches on.

If it doesn't? Meh. get over it

 

[Wyote]

You guys aren't looking at how the three intertwine. You can't just have the principle of salvation. The principle of the boomerang applies in the same situations. You have to give all the effort you have (#1) and focus correctly and accurately on what it is you desire to pull those things toward you (#2) while accepting mistakes to always move forward and learn better ways each time how to approach things (#3).

The whole thing is a continual process. A state of being.

 

[randomsomeone]

how the three intertwine.

I agree, these do very much intertwine. The principle of attraction, for example, may lead us on a path not part of our initial objective (as we understood it), especially when we find that "hidden world of possibilities." This may also, in fact, lead us to access the past or even future...not in a way that diminishes the present, but in a way that clarifies and focuses the present.

 

[WaeV]

I think that "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is most effective when it becomes "Do unto others as they would like done to them". I mean, I like constructive criticism, so should I dish it out to my roommate who's more sensitive?

Hmm... I'm not entirely sure about my rewording, though.

 

[Satya]

Sort of. I thought of that and read number 1 carefully to be sure thats not what he meant. I don't think it is

You can treat people well but still blame them for your problems

Only if you wish them to blame you for their problems.

 

[Satya]

Then a kid with disability does not deserve to breathe, because it cannot, on its own. And the tribe baby, who could be raised to become a neuroscientist deserves to spend its life on hunting and fishing, because that's what it can offer. The truth is noone has anything to offer of their own, so they also deserve nothing. Some people pretend they offer things of theirs, which are never their in the first place. Such traditional teachings are just how to accept the status quo as it is, and keep blaming yourself.

Refering to: "Just learn to accept things as they are without trying to change them."

You can't breath for a child who has a disability or choose the path for a brilliant tribal child. They must do that for themselves. You can only live your own life. How you choose to live it may influence others, but you can never live their lives or make their choices for them.

 

[Satya]

Love it!

# 2's an interesting one -- focus and attraction. There's something to this, truly, but not necessarily in the magical/new agey way, more a matter of filtering and awareness.

I have also been wondering about the effects of randomness on our lives and happiness. We so like to control things, and things aren't always controllable. Random things happen.

(Am trying to focus on a huge project at the moment, otherwise I would elaborate further!)

Control is an illusion of ego. We are ultimately only obedient to ourselves. Life is about balance not mastery.

 

[Satya]

I don't think thats what he meant. Acceptance is very important for happiness. That doesn't mean you should accept everything. You cannot not change your environment. Just by walking down the street you are influencing people whether you and they know it or not.

I think what he means is to learn to pick your battles. there are some things that are out of your control so worrying about them isn't going to do any good.

Some people are horrible. If you set yourself the task of changing that you will fail and make yourself miserable at the same time. The best you can do is not be horrible yourself and hope it catches on.

If it doesn't? Meh. get over it

Well said.

 

[Satya]

You guys aren't looking at how the three intertwine. You can't just have the principle of salvation. The principle of the boomerang applies in the same situations. You have to give all the effort you have (#1) and focus correctly and accurately on what it is you desire to pull those things toward you (#2) while accepting mistakes to always move forward and learn better ways each time how to approach things (#3).

The whole thing is a continual process. A state of being.

Exactly.

 

[Satya]

I think that "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is most effective when it becomes "Do unto others as they would like done to them". I mean, I like constructive criticism, so should I dish it out to my roommate who's more sensitive?

Hmm... I'm not entirely sure about my rewording, though.

Treat others as you wish to be treated.

Many people don't feel worthy of love, but you can still choose to love them.

 

[Wyote]

I like these principles a lot, so much so that I'd like to simplify them even further just for my own ease of rememberence. Take it or leave it as you like.

1. Action
2. Aspiration
3. Acquiescense

It is very much in line with three other principles I have adopted pertaining to learning:

Discover
Dispute
Acuiese

 

[enfp can be shy]

You can't breath for a child who has a disability or choose the path for a brilliant tribal child. They must do that for themselves. You can only live your own life. How you choose to live it may influence others, but you can never live their lives or make their choices for them.

Machines can assist people with breathing disabilities, and if it's at a very early age this decision is thrust upon the baby; there's no way to ask the baby what it thinks about it. The tribal child is not brilliant by default, nobody is. People are not *ARE*. It's a process of development, which depends very much on variety of external factors.

We always read about 'brilliant' minds so much, and so little about their influences. For example, Mozart coincidentally had one of the most skilled music teachers of that era, as his father.

 

[Satya]

Machines can assist people with breathing disabilities, and if it's at a very early age this decision is thrust upon the baby; there's no way to ask the baby what it thinks about it. The tribal child is not brilliant by default, nobody is. People are not *ARE*. It's a process of development, which depends very much on variety of external factors.

The question is only how you will live your life. You cannot change how others will live their lives. You can give people tools to improve their lives, but you cannot live their lives for them. The principle of salvation can be summed in a simple prayer. "Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

It seems you have lost the context of what I was trying to express by isolating a single sentence.

We always read about 'brilliant' minds so much, and so little about their influences. For example, Mozart coincidentally had one of the most skilled music teachers of that era, as his father.

I read as much in Malcolm Gladwell's book, Outliers.

 

[Poetic Justice]

"Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Thank you! I spent a good hour yesterday trying to remember the wording to that so I could post it here. Failed obviously but I'll sleep tonight now. lol