Surprised at how complimentary people can be . . . | INFJ Forum

Surprised at how complimentary people can be . . .

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Jul 27, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    I've noticed that many members on the forum are quite complimentary, and specifically the male members. Don't know why this surprises me but it does because growing up, i never had close, relaxed relationships with guys (except a few) - (going to an all girls high school never helped) and i always felt awkward around guys as a result.

    So, i'm surprised at how honest i can be with the guys on the forum, still feel pretty comfortable, not as self conscious, and how complimentary they still can be even if they dislike or disagree with you.

    again, probably sounds weird, and maybe shouldn't be surprised, but it's just interesting. That's all :)
     
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  2. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    The men on this forum are much more mature than most men both online and irl. Also there are no sociopaths as far as I've seen here. This is just a completely different and much better place than what we can find online or irl, anywhere.
    The best part, its all mutual and thus encourages us to be more so.
     
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  3. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    Thank you both. I think all the people on this forum are pretty complimentary too. It is nice to remind people that we men can still be men and not have to embody all the brutish stereotypes just to remind everyone of our masculinity! There used to be this thing that my parents taught me about manners and being a gentleman. I think it's pretty much a lost art now, though I will try to teach all my kids.



    ...you'll have to excuse me now. I need to go watch porn, drink some beer, and butt some things with my head. Anyone got some explosives?
     
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    #3 Questingpoet, Jul 27, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2010
  4. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    It doesn't help either that women give you mixed messages like when they are offended by people being gentlemen but are then offended when you're not. I for one like gentlemen.
     
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  5. Skathac

    Skathac <font color=#27A601>Community Member</font>

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    It certainly helps that the women on these forums are easy to talk to and very awesome. <3
     
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  6. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    There we go being all complimentary again! ;) But you are right, the women here are awesome to talk to. And everyone seems to have helpful insights. Now, let's work on that shirt of yours my friend....
     
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  7. Raccoon Love

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    I don't know why, but I really like that shirt on him lol :). It makes him look wild, adventurous, strong while still keeping sort of that awesome sweetness..such an awesome combo xD.
     
  8. Wyote

    Wyote Xenoi
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    Apparently, according to other women I am not like most guys because I say things like "that's cute!" or "what a pretty ____ you have"

    Also with my guy friends I am usually the first one/only one to give direct compliments. Mostly with guys it's this unspoken bond which I do enjoy quite a lot, but when I blurt out compliments it's just my Fe getting the best of me I think.
     
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  9. Bird

    Bird Happy Go Lucky

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    This morning as I was running my usual morning route I was thinking about potentially starting a thread about compliments. I routinely run past this house with an immaculate lawn, today, I saw the residents out tending to their gardens, I stopped (something I hate doing, I don't like breaking my pace or my stride) and told them what I thought of their hard-work. I often find myself complimenting others. For some reason, I view this as a way to be accepted instead of instantaneously being pinned down as a haughty bitch. However, when complimenting others I only do so in the most honest of ways, choosing to comment on that which I genuinely find appealing. I was wondering if this was something all INFJs inadvertently do. I'm glad I saw this thread.
    Thank you.
     
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  10. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    I can do that, but I tend to restrain myself since its not "normal". I get called weird on occasion.
     
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  11. Holden On

    Holden On Community Member

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    IRL, it feel unnatural for me to give people compliments, usually. Sometimes I want to say them, but I think it will come off sounding weird or awkward, and sometimes I feel a compliment is called for but I don't want to say one because I can't think of anything I really find complimentary about the person/situation at the moment, and I don't want to say something insincere.

    Online I am much more complimentary than IRL, mainly because I feel less awkward interacting with people in writing than in person. And, you people are all so nice, it's contagious. :) :)
     
  12. the

    the Si master race.
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    its cause they wanna get laid
     
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  13. NeverAmI

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    YEE-HAW BUCKAROO LET'S BLOW SOME SHIT UP!
     
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  14. NeverAmI

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    Sex is not the only drive in life.
     
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  15. revery2043

    revery2043 Newbie

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    hmm, on other forums, I used to post on; ppl often thought I was a woman, particularly or writing / role play sites.

    Actually, IRL, people have mistaken me for being gay too; more so in the South (States). But it also happens on the West coast (States) occasionally. I think it's has something to do with my voice. Like in the military, a medic, I trained with used to give me hell, saying that I should get checked out to see if my 2nd testicle had descended, and he was being serious. And come to think of it actually, I've always preferred the company of women to men in social situations.

    Anyway, I like being nice. It's my preferred mode, and will only trend against that if am feeling overtly attacked or marginalized; or even more rarely, when feeling compelled to "right" something, I deem as an injustice, then watch out. However, afterwards, I usually feel bad about giving into those passions though.

    Hmm, but I do tend to get overly excited in conversation when a particular topic catches my interest...even snarky at times, when I sense people not listening or getting annoyed. It's the mensa in me; it's a problem, and I'm working on it.

    I think an INFJ issue, (or at least it's my issue), is we actively choose what faces we want to show others, and that depends on our general impression of them. So, we're really open and apt to listen those we like / admire; but more likely to use our Fe to dismiss those we dislike i.e. consider beneath us or consider their opinions lacking for some reason. Another issue, I'm currently working on.

    Sean
     
    #15 revery2043, Jul 27, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2010
  16. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    I like giving compliments but by golly, I'm terrible at receiving them directly.
     
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  17. Bird

    Bird Happy Go Lucky

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    You and me both, Drew.
     
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  18. NeverAmI

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    YOU ARE SUPER AWESOME!!!


    YOU ARE SUPER AWESOME TOO!!!



    *Starfish really loves you!
     
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  19. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    It's easier to give compliments online, it's less awkward and because of the distance (usually) involved you don't have to worry about people thinking you're trying to get into their pants*.

    *Uberrogo excepted
     
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    Gaze and NeverAmI like this.
  20. the

    the Si master race.
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    Sorry didnt mean to blow your cover.
     
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