Straight INFJ Males | Page 14 | INFJ Forum

Straight INFJ Males

I am a straight male.
Often in winter i sport a beard and I like physical strength so i weight-lift a lot.
Sports are great, so are male things like.. well like computers of course.

It always puzzled me that I never cared to prove my masculinity, always felt like I had it and plenty of it and that is enough. Because of this I don't shy of crying when I watch a emotional movie, expressing my feelings to a partner or wanting to read novels like 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being' or 'Jane Eyre'.

Haven't met many people like that so it felt odd, either way. Present.
 
I'm the new guy and I'm a straight male INFJ. I knew this was the rarest personality type, but I did not realize straight males were such a minority within this type either. Fascinating to me.

I'll take that as a compliment. For as much sexism and hatred that still exists in the world, even the staunchest chauvinist would probably admit that some of the best traditional feminine traits are compassion, empathy, etc. Or, in other words, all the things INFJs display. So, in that respect, I'm proud.

It's weird, though. I am the kind of guy who lives and breathes sports and physical activity and can transform into an alpha-male jock on command if needed. Not saying I'm manly-man or Chuck Norris, but I'm traditionally masculine in almost every respect. The idea that my personality type best fits with more feminine profiles is interesting to me.
 
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I've met only one INFJ male and he was straight. I mean, he did try to slip a roofie in my drink more than once and often told me to take my pants off but I'm pretty sure he was straight.
 
I'm straight, but only slightly. By slightly I mean that I'm almost completely asexual and aromantic, meaning that the sexual and romantic attraction I feel are almost non existent.

Still the small amount that is there is straight.
 
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Straifgt INFJ Males

I could'nt miss noticing we seem to be a very lonely type, though, not because we want-to be, just that we are so numerically sparse. It's beeter to talk- about it and own it. I'm a bit older, than many on the forum and doo recall like it was yesterday, when I felt like I was living alone on an iceburg. No understanding, no social, no insight..These forums are a god send (so to speak) as are other things such as the first and subsequent Typeology books"Please Understand Me"..It's better communicating with others on this rather than feeling like we desere- to be alone, isolated. We-have even greater needs than most guys do for human interaction (you know- the stuff that actually makes you feel- better) and we also need to be able to get alone time to recharge our emotional batteries. It's complicated yes, and very individual, one person to the next, with unique sub sets of "issues,stuff" which cannot be ignored. Society can make us feel kind off rough, like it's all our fault. It, is'nt ! It's the beautiful aspects of our characters that makes others jealous (other guys, especially when their-women conect with us on an emotive level that they wish they- were able to) so there's a need, I think, to take care to avoid making trouble for ourselves there and at the same time, remember, to continue without giving up. We- have, a lot to offer.
 
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*Ahem*.

Yes. Although the part about Feminine qualities are quite disturbing to me.
 
That's, because there is no "femanine side". We're human beings not two sided surfaces. I remember when "Men's femanine side'' was introduced as a concept. It promoted a lot of interest in that "notion" in a lot- of articles during the following years. People, we are. Much more complex than the trendy stuff that's hyped in the media.
 
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for a INTJ some of this is kind of funny...well at least an intj that isn't in his 20's (seems like it's all the same no matter they type). single and experienced just enough to know that sometimes it's better but not enough experience to avoid trouble for myself.....what??? we're a little behind the curve when it comes to anything xxFx related.
 
The straight male INFJs in my life IRL tend to be perceived by others as either closet gays or closet perverts. I wish this was a joke, but it really isn't. The common denominator here is that people sense that they are secretive (the closet!) and kinda sexually frustrated, so it's gotta be either of these things. It gets kinda tiring to be asked by people continuously even after knowing them for years, "Is he gay? Really, he isn't?? Are you sure?" or "Omg why is he such a pervert? He seems so quiet and creepy." Then back on the receiving end with the INFJs, it gets them feeling kinda frustrated all the time, and wishing they could "man up". It almost makes me want to bang them so it would just end. That might be what those crafty bastards have been shooting for with this all along, though.

:m082:
 
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niffer said:
The straight male INFJs in my life IRL tend to be perceived by others as either closet gays or closet perverts. I wish this was a joke, but it really isn't. The common denominator here is that people sense that they are secretive (the closet!) and kinda sexually frustrated, so it's gotta be either of these things. It gets kinda tiring to be asked by people continuously even after knowing them for years, "Is he gay? Really, he isn't?? Are you sure?" or "Omg why is he such a pervert? He seems so quiet and creepy." Then back on the receiving end with the INFJs, it gets them feeling kinda frustrated all the time, and wishing they could "man up". It almost makes me want to bang them so it would just end. That might be what those crafty bastards have been shooting for with this all along, though.

:m082:
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I get this exact reaction a lot. Its so damn frustrating.
 
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Renaissance said:
That's, because there is no "femanine side". We're human beings not two sided surfaces.
Click to expand...

Human beings have more than one side to them, I think. I don't understand what you hope to accomplish by saying an absurd thing like, "There is no feminine side."

Newsflash; Yes there is. There are men who act more like women than others. Deal with it.

I remember when "Men's femanine side'' was introduced as a concept.
Click to expand...

Cool story.

It promoted a lot of interest in that "notion" in a lot- of articles during the following years. People, we are. Much more complex than the trendy stuff that's hyped in the media.
Click to expand...

So now the media is responsible for everyone's behaviour? Not mine. I'm not that big of a tool.
 
People don't perceive me as gay, but people are baffled by my interests. I don't care for sports, and I don't want to talk explicitly about sex with friends (close or not). I just make it clear that I'm really into other stuff, like music, politics, movies, ect. People usually respect that. If I'm wrong and they do think I'm gay, I don't care. In my book there are a lot of things that I would be more embarrassed/ashamed as being perceived as.
 
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On a personal level, I very rarely consider matters of my gender. I very clearly identify as male, but I have almost no self identity in terms of masculine or feminine. I seem to be a rather fluid amalgamation of the two - I have both strong and weak masculine and feminine traits. And I don't think this is just because I am against gender stereotypes, but rather because I grew up in a home environment where I was free to create my own identity.

I remember worrying about issues of gender when I was a young teenager mostly due to social awareness and peer pressure, but that seemed to fade away once I had facial hair. It seems that having a beard is so masculine that you can really get away with a lot of other feminine traits and still come across as masculine. Right now I have fairly long hair (which I think is quite pretty =P) and I've even painted my nails pretty flamboyant colors on occasion (I like pink and purple, you can see my profile for that >.>), and no one seems to think I'm gay or effeminate. I do have a fairly quiet and analytical demeanor most of the time, however, and that rigidity probably adds to the masculine image.
 
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Reminds me of a post I read a while ago refering to the way we feel and what may be causing it; "When depressed, before we buy into the notion of it being all our fault that we are depressed- just look around, checking out our emotional environment to see whether we are depressed due to being surrounded by assholes".
 
Tujev said:
I am a straight male.
Often in winter i sport a beard and I like physical strength so i weight-lift a lot.
Sports are great, so are male things like.. well like computers of course.

It always puzzled me that I never cared to prove my masculinity, always felt like I had it and plenty of it and that is enough. Because of this I don't shy of crying when I watch a emotional movie, expressing my feelings to a partner or wanting to read novels like 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being' or 'Jane Eyre'.

Haven't met many people like that so it felt odd, either way. Present.
Click to expand...

Where I live there are many Croatian emmigrants to America. I find they all feel and act pretty masculine as a whole.
 
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