Straight INFJ Males
- Thread starter VH
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I have met a couple of men that I know were INFJ and that was at a meetup for people who were identified as INFJ. I wouldn't say either one looked or acted any less 'masculine' than the average guys I know. They were quiet and thoughtful but I wouldn't necessarily identifify those things as being feminine. I find the idea of a 'feminine qualities' or 'masculine qualities' as kind of odd. Who decides which qualities are femine or masculine? I have two brothers, neither of which are INFJ, and they are the ones in their family who do most of the cooking and cleaning. They are also very nurturing and caring towards their children (in both cases more than their wives). My mother-in-law is one of the least nurturing person that I have ever met but I don't consider her masculine, more like cold and shallow.
I'm a straight INFJ male, 53, single.
I thought I would post a reply here first, because the topic leapt out at me. I only tested today, Sunday 15th December 2013.
Let me see what occurs. Four thoughts at random.
I have been studying the 37 short form tai chi ch'uan of Cheng Man Ch'ing for the last 10 years. I use it to structure extended periods of introversion. The form is fixed. Cheng reduced the long yang form to make it easier to learn and shorter to perform. The chi gate beckons the diligent student of the form.
I was in a train crash on 19th September 1986. That was an experience which tore apart the fabric of my psyche. I was able to rehabilitate myself. It took many years. The time I spend alone is my reward for all the hard work.
I was educated at a military boarding school. It was over forty years ago. It was a robust experience. It taught me independence, which was useful to help me make the best use of my time alone. It chimes with other comments about guns and martial arts, and the like. I picked up my first Martini action .22 rifle, aged 11, wearing the school beret, in fear of the Colour Sargeant Major and his ram rod. What fun!
Being a sensitive fellow, my responses are often physical, and can be quite painful. Perhaps that is not the right word. I have irritable bowel syndrome, probably brought on by my acute responses to reality as it is, so the need to manage my responses is real and ever present.
From what I can gather, heterosexual male INFJs are fairly unusual. I'm game for any questions, because I would like to explore my own response to encountering other INFJs.
I thought I would post a reply here first, because the topic leapt out at me. I only tested today, Sunday 15th December 2013.
Let me see what occurs. Four thoughts at random.
I have been studying the 37 short form tai chi ch'uan of Cheng Man Ch'ing for the last 10 years. I use it to structure extended periods of introversion. The form is fixed. Cheng reduced the long yang form to make it easier to learn and shorter to perform. The chi gate beckons the diligent student of the form.
I was in a train crash on 19th September 1986. That was an experience which tore apart the fabric of my psyche. I was able to rehabilitate myself. It took many years. The time I spend alone is my reward for all the hard work.
I was educated at a military boarding school. It was over forty years ago. It was a robust experience. It taught me independence, which was useful to help me make the best use of my time alone. It chimes with other comments about guns and martial arts, and the like. I picked up my first Martini action .22 rifle, aged 11, wearing the school beret, in fear of the Colour Sargeant Major and his ram rod. What fun!
Being a sensitive fellow, my responses are often physical, and can be quite painful. Perhaps that is not the right word. I have irritable bowel syndrome, probably brought on by my acute responses to reality as it is, so the need to manage my responses is real and ever present.
From what I can gather, heterosexual male INFJs are fairly unusual. I'm game for any questions, because I would like to explore my own response to encountering other INFJs.
Being the rarest in the rarest group is a pretty rare thing, I'm not saying I don't like being rare but just not that rare 
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I'm a straight male INFJ.
.I'm a straight male INFJ.
Saw this thread linked in a tweet and I made an account specifically to reply to it, then realized this was originally from 2009. Oh well.
Anyway, straight INFJ male here.
Not masculine, but definitely not feminine either.
I've often felt like I have to hide my sensitive side so as to not be judged for not being macho, or to not be mistaken for gay. Every now and then someone gets a glimpse at my sensitivity and the attention (positive or negative) makes me extremely uncomfortable. Although when it is positive attention some part of me likes that someone appreciated the part of me few people see. (As long as they keep it to themselves.)
Anyway, straight INFJ male here.
Not masculine, but definitely not feminine either.
I've often felt like I have to hide my sensitive side so as to not be judged for not being macho, or to not be mistaken for gay. Every now and then someone gets a glimpse at my sensitivity and the attention (positive or negative) makes me extremely uncomfortable. Although when it is positive attention some part of me likes that someone appreciated the part of me few people see. (As long as they keep it to themselves.)
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"Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart
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I sympathize with men of this type. The world is not an accommodating place for men who are largely conflict-averse and anti-machiavellan.
Flourishing as a man requires the acceptance of life's brute facts. If only our love was unconditional and our days were consistently merry.
Flourishing as a man requires the acceptance of life's brute facts. If only our love was unconditional and our days were consistently merry.
Lol, you been digging in the basement?
Straight male, with wife and 4 kids. I do feel I am getting more than proportional attention from gay men though
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Pin
"Magnificent Bastard" / Ren's Counterpart
- Jun 26, 2017
- 12,749
- 50,519
- 3,276
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- ENTJ
- Enneagram
- 3w4, 3-8-7
Attention like that makes me so uncomfortable. How do you handle it?Lol, you been digging in the basement?
Straight male, with wife and 4 kids. I do feel I am getting more than proportional attention from gay men though
- Aug 21, 2015
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That could just mean you're cute.
Likewise. I am good at ignoring. But special attention from anyone I don't know makes me feel uncomfortable
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Another straight INFJ male here.
I do feel under-represented! and haven't met any other male types. I definitely see more female INFJs in person, whilst I love the qualities I have, I can't help but feel like they are not as "masculine" or whatever that means!
I do feel under-represented! and haven't met any other male types. I definitely see more female INFJs in person, whilst I love the qualities I have, I can't help but feel like they are not as "masculine" or whatever that means!
I'm a straight INFJ male, but I'll say this...
1: I make friends with women WAAAAAAY easier than men. I just think women make better friends, and I connect with them far easier.
2: I typically find other guys obnoxious, shallow, and boring. The only time I ever wind up friends with a guy is if they manage to make me laugh.
No offense to any guys here.
1: I make friends with women WAAAAAAY easier than men. I just think women make better friends, and I connect with them far easier.
2: I typically find other guys obnoxious, shallow, and boring. The only time I ever wind up friends with a guy is if they manage to make me laugh.
No offense to any guys here.