Social Interactions: Acceptance

[NeverAmI]

This idea sprung into my head while driving between sites for work.

I notice that I typically focus much more on gaining acceptance than on accepting others.

 

[DoveAlexa]

Yeah, I use to be heavily focused on that. I've kinda grow away from that though, and while I don't ignore others feelings towards myself, I find it has a lot less impact on me now, especially over time.
I think this makes me braver in what I say. Reckless if I'm stressed, however. Nothing like hoping to make everyone like you to keep you from so much as swearing XD.

 

[kucala]

I find that I don't have to focus to accept it others. It simply comes naturally. I even have to focus on NOT accepting others, sometimes.
So, yes, I focus more on being accepted than accepting others.

 

[Odyne]

This idea sprung into my head while driving between sites for work.

I notice that I typically focus much more on gaining acceptance than on accepting others.

How about you focus on neither and accept yourself first.

*itching to be blunt, but refrains*

 

[Trifoilum]

Both, but I consciously drive towards gaining acceptance. I can accept people more easily, even moreso by simply devil's advocating myself and my own prejudice.

 

[NeverAmI]

How about you focus on neither and accept yourself first.

*itching to be blunt, but refrains*

Be blunt.

 

[Wyote]

Accept yo-self fore you wreck yo-self!

 

[Lumi Spitsbergen]

This idea sprung into my head while driving between sites for work.

I notice that I typically focus much more on gaining acceptance than on accepting others.

I tend to do the exact opposite. I focus way more on trying to understand how others think and accept them.... and completely ignore ways in which I could become acceptable to others.
=p

 

[Satya]

I'm still a child in this respect. I still want people to like me and praise me for what I do.

 

[TheLastMohican]

I think this would correlate strongly with position in life. Nobody really cares whether a 5-year-old is being accepting. Only when you are in a position of equality or authority does your acceptance matter. And when you have risen to a status of supreme authority, additional acceptance is superfluous; everyone is looking for acceptance from you, instead.

 

[slant]

I spend most of my effort and time trying to accept other people for who they are and how they are. I believe as humans we are biased and imperfect, and if we pay attention, we can catch when our biases get in the way of taking people as they come and for who they are.

Acceptances does NOT mean agreeing.

I don't agree with a lot of the people I accept.

I just accept, people will be the way they will be---and I try not to be specific because giving people certain traits and characteristics such as 'this person is a slob' or 'this person is hardworking' tends to encourage stereotypes.

"Great people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about people."

 

[Morgain]

I think this would correlate strongly with position in life. Nobody really cares whether a 5-year-old is being accepting. Only when you are in a position of equality or authority does your acceptance matter. And when you have risen to a status of supreme authority, additional acceptance is superfluous; everyone is looking for acceptance from you, instead.

hey this is something to think about!

could it be that if your focus lies on being accepted by others, that it means you don't concider yourself as "on the same social level" as the others, meaning your acceptance of them doesn't matter?
If people look at you for acceptance it creates a very powerful position

If I have to choose between "being accepted" or "accepting others". I think that I automaticaly try to accept others the way they are in a natural way but at the same time I want to be accepted and that is the part I strugle with. Where th draw the line.
If I would lay my focus on accepting others intentionaly I would do it "so that others would accept me"

 

[TinyBubbles]

i want to be accepted who doesn't? it feels nice to be validated by others - even when you are in a position of authority and others are looking for YOUR validation (like [MENTION=11]TheLastMohican[/MENTION]; mentioned). accepting others is easier... well, i can usually accept them, but not always what they DO, especially if it goes against what I believe.
as for accepting myself.. lol, I'll get back to you on that

 

[IndigoSensor]

Call me a bitch, but I don't really focus on accepting others at all. The idea doesn't even really cross my mind. Why should you have to "accept" someone anyway? Seems kinda pointless to me. If you are forced to interact with them then that is one thing. Treat them fairly and try to understand them as a person. There comes a point though when a person is just so bad/sour that accepting them would be a bad thing.

Really, accepting/not accepting is just inate to me. Also, just because I don't accept someone doesn't mean I am going to treat them like crap. That is where tollerence comes in.

As far as getting people to accept me. I voted yes, but even then I can't really say that I do. Its more that I want people to understand me and get a valid impression. If they don't accept me, then fine. Just don't treat me badly if we have to work together, as I won't do the same to them.

 

[the]

I just be myself which attacts some people and pushes others away. The people who are attracted are generally the ones I want to keep around anyway. In general I try to not be a jerk to people I have to work with but do not like, but some times I will.

 

[BlinkandThink]

I tend to do the exact opposite. I focus way more on trying to understand how others think and accept them.... and completely ignore ways in which I could become acceptable to others.
=p

This. And:

How about you focus on neither and accept yourself first.

I think about accepting myself and understanding/accepting the other person. As long as they aren't trying to hurt me, anyone else's opinion of me is none of my business.


I obviously prefer to be around people who accept me, but only if I enjoy their company and received their acceptance as a result of being true to myself. It's not worth it otherwise.

 

[Gaze]

There's something to be said for self acceptance, but it's also good to focus on others. You can appreciate others leading to greater understanding and sometimes even greater acceptance. But it's not easy.

I'm not sure acceptance is the best word though. It's a loaded term. I prefer the word "appreciation." You may not be accepting of someone but you can appreciate what they have to offer or appreciate the perspective they have.

 

[freybell]

Really, accepting/not accepting is just inate to me. Also, just because I don't accept someone doesn't mean I am going to treat them like crap. That is where tollerence comes in.

I agree with this. I accept almost anyone... but that doesn't mean that I like them all.

And I find myself wondering "how am I doing?" whenever I interact with people. It drives me absolutely nuts. I wish I could tune it out and just act without thinking once in a while.

 

[sulfit]

I used to be very quiet and focus on just trying to blend in and not stand out. I was also much more locked up in my own mind and busy with my own things.

Now I find myself to be very curious about other people. Instead of not speaking up to not draw attention to myself I will initiate conversations and ask people questions about themselves. So I'd say I get much more focused on understanding other people when interacting with them, but I don't reveal as much about myself.

 

[Billy]

I think I take an active interest in trying to accept people I meet, I might push them a little to see if they squirm, but in general I am pretty accepting of people. I find its easy enough to just be myself and people gravitate to me and I will accept them almost always unless they are really bad news.