Social Anxiety | INFJ Forum

Social Anxiety

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by NeverAmI, Dec 28, 2009.

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  1. Yes

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  2. No

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  3. Not Sure

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  1. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    Just curious for who all here suffers from social anxiety.

    I have known I have social anxiety, I saw the doctor about it years ago, although I think I downplayed how extreme it is for me. Taking one of the online tests today made me realize how I feel isn't exactly normal.

    Just curious how many others here deal with crap like this?
     
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  2. Gaze

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    Yep, a bit. But i don't want to be a victim of it even i have to live it.
     
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    #2 Gaze, Dec 28, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2009
  3. Top cat

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    I wasn't sure I had it but I'm reading a description now and I probably do. I never thought much of it since I was like this as a child but it seems to have developed into a true 'anxiety' now.

    But I don't know if I would look at it as a problem ...
     
  4. PoetOfDreams

    PoetOfDreams Shadow Queen

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    I would call my interaction with society full of worries. I was always a shy person and I think I have a fear of losing friends.

    However, I never talked to anyone about it before.
     
  5. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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    Yeah I got that shit.


    Sometimes its a bit hard to tell what is normal and abnormal with this sort of thing. I mean it is fairly common to be shy and social phobia at the end of the day is extreme shyness. Is it close enough to plain old shyness to be considered just shyness or is it a totally different pathology all together? These sort of questions bother me a lot.

    Deal?

    I still don't really know how to deal with these feeling really and I've seen lots of mental health professionals. I used to drink to deal with it sometimes I still do. Although I have gotten a lot better though after a lot of hard work and teeth grinding. I mean I know some positive phsycology techniques that help me when I am in a wild panic. I use something called the Sedona method which is extremely helpful for when I am REALLY having a hard ime calming myself down.

    Its hard to say where exactly my progress has come from I think its a combination of a lot of things. I mean I got a therapist who I get on with real well I think that helps a lot. He's help me learn how to really challenge anxious thoughts in my head. And I have a lot more to learn but I am feeling better and doing well. It was important to me to differntiate between trying to force my self to change my way of thinking and simply considering the idea that my way of thinking might be wrong.

    It also really helped me to change my life style a little bit at a time. Like maybe one day I'd cut down on my computer usage and read a book for a couple hours. I mean I'd cut down on things that I knew I was using to distract myself from my feelings (like smoking pot say) and just do something else for a couple of hrs. It really sucked at times but those shitty feelings need some attention or else their not going to go away. It was also really great because I learned some of the feeling I were trying to erase were really good.

    Another thing that I've been doing is exposing myself to thing that scare me little by little. It feel great challenging your fears and succeding feels great, but I wouldn't go to crazy or else you'll have a panic attack.

    And I mean I am still struggling with all this. But I feel a lot better and feel fortunate that managed to get this far. But it wasn't a miracle it just doing simple things easy things like wondering "Ok maybe I am wrong about me" can actuate a change. Its not something that happens over night, but it doesn't have to feel like getting a root canal on your feelings.


    And it is entirely possible that I willback slide a few steps but then the only thing to do is get up again (howeverlong that takes) and keep walking.

    I mean there is more I can say but I am having a hard time think of it now.

    I am sleepy.
     
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  6. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    I'm not sure. It's hard to know sometimes isn't it, until you realize that what you experience isn't what other people go through.

    I continue to experience fear and stress about social situations. I don't think I have social anxiety disorder, but yes, I experience something that is debilitating.

    I have a hard time with things like this though. I tend to disqualify my experiences because someone in my immediate circle "has it worse", and I have an easy time denying my reality. But the truth is that something definitely ain't 'right'.
     
  7. Top cat

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    Maybe it's only a problem if it's affecting some part of your life in a negative way
    Sometimes I think it can be positive

    And also if you realise there is a reason that you become anxious --say, something that happened to you in the past if you are able to go deep enough to unearth all of those memories. When I was younger, I had no reasons. I just hated them. But now ...
     
  8. OP
    NeverAmI

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    Thanks for this.

    I think I have made leaps and strides from where I used to be. But it is like at work I just struggle so hard, I still avoid the phone like it is the plague, I hate meeting new people when I have to help them with issues, normally I just want everyone to leave me alone.

    Most days I can counteract those feelings quite well, but it's like I am always fighting a battle to swim against the currents. If I don't actively fight at it then I regress right away. Right now there is a lot of negativity at work and it's like I just can't put on that facade anymore cause I don't have the energy.

    I think I just generally have a tougher time with social anxiety during the winter months. I get so miserable because I want to get out of the house, but I don't want to be around people. Sometimes I feel like I really don't know what I want.

    You mentioned you see a therapist. I haven't seen one in probably 13 years, maybe it is time I revisit that option. I agree w/ the drinking among other things to distance yourself from anxieties. Sometimes when I am drunk I feel like such a burden is taken off my shoulders because I am no longer so extremely inhibited by my phobia. I have had to stop drinking almost entirely in order to be proactive with my hemochromatosis (Iron overload) that I have, which targets the liver first. So now that my crutch is gone, I am looking to solve the actual root cause.
     
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  9. OP
    NeverAmI

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    Probably a combination of being made fun of a lot, taking life too seriously, trusting people too easily, being gullible, and my parents constantly urging me never to show my emotions, or just general negativity from them.
     
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  10. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    Omg.. I just realized that I don't let myself feel the full extent of my feelings because if I did, I would freak out... I'd lose it... I would go completely ballistic on myself... the wiring inside me isn't made to handle the voltage that would explode me, I would lose myself and it would blow me up.. if I relinquished this tight grasp..

    I'm so sorry for going off-topic, I don't want to hijack the thread, I just wanted to write this out, somewhere, outside of me where it would be true and not private, because it makes it more real.

    Please continue.

    Lucifer, I'm really glad you're working through it :hug: I can relate to a lot of what you wrote about.

    Did the doctor help, NAI?
     
  11. PoetOfDreams

    PoetOfDreams Shadow Queen

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    Today at church, I didn't want to approach someone I look up to. Even though I rarely see this person now, I rather stay out of the way then say "Hi".
     
  12. Faye

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    No, I used to have severe social anxiety and many symptoms of AvPD. I think that I would have developed the disorder if I had worse circumstances. Fortunately, I was able, with much work, to get to the point where I am fairly comfortable in social situations.

    I'm also very surprised that I am the only person so far who is sure they don't have social anxiety and that most of you say you do have it.
     
    #12 Faye, Dec 28, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2009
  13. sookie

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    I think that social anxiety, for me, is a bi product of having Attention Deficit Disorder, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

    The social anxiety was awful when I was in high school and into my 20's. For me, my Buddhist practice helps combined with therapy and medication. All of these things have saved my life.
     
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  14. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    I used to believe that I had social anxiety but then I realized that I can be very talkative, confident, and all that when meeting new people when I had a want or reason too. In the past, I never had a reason to want to meet new people so I summed it up to having social anxiety. I do still suffer a bit from being shy though at times.
     
  15. Puck

    Puck Perilous Pixie
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    Social anxiety is there for a good reason. In my opinion, it's not abnormal or wrong, although it is a burden to carry. The thing is, if society wasn't based around competing/status, deceit/illusions/cheating, then we most likely wouldn't develop these fears of interacting with people. Have you ever noticed that it's not always there - it's only really in the situations that there may well be a good reason to be afraid? I just wanted to send an affirmation really, to fellow sufferers, that you're alright - you're okay - it's not your fault, and you're great the way you are. :hug:
     
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  16. testing

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    Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't!

    Actually, the kind of social anxiety I get is around people I don't know well, once I get to know people I am fairly outgoing. I get to the point where I can't breathe sometimes, it's awful.
     
  17. Sithious

    Sithious Well-known member

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    Yes indeed
     
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  18. DefectiveCreative

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    Had it since I was a teenager. It's improved in recent years though, mostly thanks to finding out (through MBTI, amongst other things) that I was a worthwhile person so a lot of the negative judgements that I was expecting to be sent my way wouldn't have been valid anyway, and the Buddhist practise of mindfulness helped quite a lot too because it helped me realise that I had a lot more control over my own emotional reactions to things than I thought.

    It's still a problem though, but I know that the next step for me is to develop confidence in my ability to handle new and unfamiliar situations, and I know that the best way to do that is to actively put myself in those situations. So right now I'm searching around for opportunities for social interaction that push me out of my comfort zone just enough to test me, but not so much that they cause me to freak out and undo what I've accomplished so far.
     
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  19. Raccoon Love

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  20. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Yeah I think I have a mild case of it.

    Thing is, it's not so much face to face people interaction I worry about, I mean I can extremely anxious about going to new groups of people who I've never met/unfamiliar environments. But calling people on the phone is awful for me. Seriously, sorting out my Uni application was hell, even calling the hairdressers to get a hair cut requires hours of mental preparation for 30 second phone call.

    I also am afraid of public transport. No idea why, I would rather walk ridiculous lengths then get a bus. Trains freak me out as well, I know soon that I'm gonna have to make my way across the UK on train and I'm absolutely dreading it. It doesn't stop me doing what I have to do but it makes it hell to do it. I'm extremely good at hiding it as well, even from myself sometimes.
     
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