So, what makes you soooooo defensive?

[Faye]

So, what kinds of things do people do which make you feel defensive? Why?

The "Why don't you have a girlfriend?/Do you have a girlfriend yet?/Are you gay?" line of questioning can be pretty annoying.

Telling me that who I am and/or what I am doing is worthless or even implying it (even with the tone of one's voice) I find extremely disturbing.

Mostly though, you have to be an asshole or very insensitive to make me defensive. I can actually shrug off most of what anyone says to me out of a complete lack of respect for them (i.e. the rude people in high school), and I can also deal with having many people hate me and saying not-so-nice things behind me back (I've done this before). Many of my friends think I don't get angry and very few people have seen me angry, but it does happen. When it happens, you really don't want to push any harder on me.

 

[Gaze]

Trying to elicit an emotional response.

this^^^ to the nth degree. Yep. That bugs me more than anything else.

 

[Yukizaku]

I get defensive when people touch me, when people say I don't exist, and when people try to define me. Trying to define me is the worst... no one accepts the whole "I'm just me" thing everyone needs their little boxes and labels.

 

[Riven]

When people make an offensive comment about a category of people that I fall into and expect me not to be offended

 

[TinyBubbles]

mmmm I think when people doubt my integrity.. not to say I'm the most ethical person out there because I'm not, but I do try to live a principled life. I get defensive when people think it's an act, or if I'm "hiding something", or if I'm just not being honest about what I think or feel. That kind of behavior unnerves me in others and I'd feel very ashamed if I was displaying it myself.

edit: this and the age thread makes me think i really am an idealistic kid inside. :/

 

[Roger]

Whenever something serious happens with best friends, i become too passive and defensive. For some moments my mind can't act or behave with positive attitude.

Yesterday, my friend caught me when i was at her home. She said,"You are way too defensive and forget that lost of your best friend. You have already very nice friends and everyone can't be like her. You will not lost friends anymore in your life and forget it. It is tight lesson for you and learn from it."

 

[j e s s i e]

When I'm criticized on something I never asked an opinion about, or better yet, after I've already stated that I'd prefer to not hear criticism about something. My art applies here more than anything. It probably has to do with the already harsh self-criticism I'm always inflicting upon myself about what I do. So when I'm criticizes on something I've already criticized myself on, I go into defense mode.

I get defensive whenever someone hits on me or openly flirts, as well. Almost instant backlash.

 

[BlinkandThink]

I get defensive when anything that's extremely difficult (or impossible) for me to change is criticized.

Or when I feel like someone is being controlling or telling me how I "should" be.

 

[Soulful]

I'm likely to get defensive when I feel I'm being negatively judged, disapproved of, or invalidated for being who I am. I also get defensive when I'm disrespected and when someone refuses (directly or indirectly) to listen to and consider my perspective - i.e. when I feel I'm not being heard and feel not understood or misunderstood.

Edit: This isn't the case with all persons/all situations.

 

[Tactical Panda]

So, what kinds of things do people do which make you feel defensive? Why?

Anything done poorly enough that I can see their intentions. Even if they are good intentions. Sigh.

 

[Morgain]

I get defensive when I'm insecure and that happens mostely when people are digging to deep into me, when I show them a deeper side of me and am afraid of the reaction. Somehow I believe that there is somethign majorly wrong with me and people will start laughing with me and rejecting me for it

 

[Gaze]

Anything done poorly enough that I can see their intentions. Even if they are good intentions. Sigh.

i'm kinda the same. if i see your intentions, it's hard for me to take you seriously especially if you keep pretending it isn't there.