Snapping | INFJ Forum

Snapping

Silently Honest

Silently Honest

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May 12, 2008
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We seem more prone to it then other types. These short burst of wrath usually only show themselves when someone looks for them IMO. Everytime I've done it, I'm usaully trying to restrain it, but party two always does something to dig a even bigger grave for him/herself.


I'll admit though I sure feel better after doing it.
 
Silently Honest said:
but party two always does something to dig a even bigger grave for him/herself.
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Is there anything party two can do, besides walk away, that wouldn't do this. I ask cause when someone snaps they are usually completely justified in their mind at that time as to their action and it seems to me whatever the other person does will generally infuriate them more.
 
Not really. If someone believes the are completly justified in doing something, and your playing the opposition to it, then it's best to give them room, once you push someone to that point, the only way to keep from pushing them over is to leave them alone, and give them time. Sometimes you need time to figure things out on your own you know?
 
Why did you die so prematurily? *Holds threads corpse in hands*
 
I really love it when party 2 decides to follow me in an attempt to continue the discussion. If I leave the scene before a temper eruption in an attempt to cool down, and I am followed... I think at that point I am justified.
 
All you need is some reassurance, then you will cool off. If someone sees when you are about to snap, then they can know when to try to cool you off. I think it takes an NF to see this.
 
I'm prone to short outburst of anger which surprises many because I'm always the reserved negotiator who is dead calm in every situation. I usually snap when I find something unfair and I think I absorb everything and turn it inwards instead of becoming irritated, but what goes in must go out sooner or later. :smile:
 
Silently Honest said:
We seem more prone to it then other types. These short burst of wrath usually only show themselves when someone looks for them IMO. Everytime I've done it, I'm usaully trying to restrain it, but party two always does something to dig a even bigger grave for him/herself.


I'll admit though I sure feel better after doing it.
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this is exactly how i am....
but the thing is that it's not a positive quality, and so i'm trying to improve it...the thing is...i can't seem to stop
why? T.T
i'm lowering my stress levels...is it maybe because i don't trust others and it's a defense or something?
or is it because i was hurt by people, and again use this as a defense?
i really would like to stop...it's hurting my relationship with my family.
 
Everytime I've done it, I'm usaully trying to restrain it, but party two always does something to dig a even bigger grave for him/herself.
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THIS IS EXACTLY THE SAME FOR ME haha. Especially with my mom and she always goes stop snapping at me, which makes me even more aggtated. I try to control myself from doing it but it usually blows up in the end haha.

Like Emily though; I am lowering my stress levels in an attempt to increase my overall mental health. :)
 
I used to be really bad about "snapping." I literally would black out and just beat the shit out of the other person. The last time I violently snapped I took a pool stick to some dude's face at a party...I don't even remember doing it or why. All I remember was him trying to push me on a pool table, maybe flirting, and I snapped. I was 14, he was 16.

When I snap, it's like, an eruption I can't control. In a way, it was such a relief to fight. I didn't have to hold anything in anymore, I could just let go. But at the same time, once I came back to myself, I would be so frightened! Sometimes I would want to KILL the other person! In that moment with my fists or object, I would feel a twinge of enjoyment from hurting the person. But I knew that wasn't me, the real me was opposed to violence. It conflicted me for years before I learned how to deal with my suppressed rage issues. Too bad I hate sports--my brother gets all his rage out by playing football, wrestling, and rugby! :p

I still "snap" but never with my fists anymore. I usually step away when I feel myself getting too angry--when party two refuses to let me leave I either explode or implode. Imploding seems to scare people more than exploding, lol.

Hell hath no fury like INFJ wrath.
 
Hmm... I think for myself, the outbursts were more maturity related. Now, it takes a lot for me to reach the point of not being able to control my words and actions. Someone would have to purposely try to hurt me or someone I loved to have me flip out on them. I can't remember the last "outburst" I had, probably when I was a teenager.

But, my very sensitive daughter will be going into school soon, and I'm sure that will test my self-restraint. :boxing:
 
I snap constantly...Its really easy to frustrate me when I am frustrated with being sick all the time though...:m192:
 
I don't think I have ever had someone snap on me, I guess I could have snapped maybe once in the past 10 years. But I have some self control so nothing came of it.

Usually when people are getting to that point of snapping, maybe I am good at diffusing them ... although if you knew me you'd probably guess that I would be just pushing them further and further
 
I have like... no temper at all. I will get annoyed and frusterated with people, but I never snap at them. I don't think I ever have either.
 
What defines self-control?
 
Self control refers to the ability to control human behavior through the exertion of will.
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When I snap I feel awful afterwards, worse than when I was trying to restrain my rage. There is no catharsis after the episode.

I don't think there is any excuse or reason or justification to snap.
We are all responsible to control our own lives and thoughts to avoid hurting other people.
 
merrytrees said:
When I snap I feel awful afterwards, worse than when I was trying to restrain my rage. There is no catharsis after the episode.

I don't think there is any excuse or reason or justification to snap.
We are all responsible to control our own lives and thoughts to avoid hurting other people.
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I don't really snap because I never draw the string too tight. Do you see what I mean?
If rage comes into the mind, then the awareness of the mind can think "from whenceforth cometh this rage?" and so rearrange itself as to create a greater internal balance.
 
mayflow said:
I don't really snap because I never draw the string too tight. Do you see what I mean?
If rage comes into the mind, then the awareness of the mind can think "from whenceforth cometh this rage?" and so rearrange itself as to create a greater internal balance.
Click to expand...

I work to do the same and I am usually successful--just sort of let the circumstance float by, step outside of my body and ego and watch the event and contemplate and choose my reaction..

I don't get angry over something that someone says or does to me, it's usually me who unintentionally enrages the other person, and then I'm left with the idea that I need to defend myself, and that's where one falls into the trap of snapping. It's all a trap of the ego.

I snapped a lot when I was a teenager, mostly. Very bad acid tongued snapping, (I've always been too squeamish for the physical stuff.)
Nowadays as I am older, I flee. And don't return for days. Maybe that's not much better though..
 
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