I had that when I was younger. Usually, you grow out of it after you realise that nothing and no one is perfect and you resign yourself. It's not defeat, but acceptance.
Seriously, you'll be fine. All it takes is a lot of time and a little hope.
seems in recent years i have only gained a heightened sense of how ridiculous i am
it also extends to my view of everyone else
i'm more forgiving of others though... because they aren't me and i know better, apparently
there was a time, when i remember just happily existing
i think they call it the age of innocence
my memory of that time is somewhat dim, but i have held on to enough of it to recognize the difference between then and now
am i supposed to grow up and out of this, or is it my inner kid fighting for space in my life?
i liked that kid... the old ben, the youngest one i can recall. here i am, 20 years later. couldnt i be happier?
something inside me just wont settle for the way things are... the way we all are
*
interesting idea SamE
never considered an under active thyroid
my self criticism is extremely harsh.
i dont talk much anymore.
i've stopped writing as well.
i dont sing, i dont take pictures, i dont make movies.
i dont play guitar or open up for anyone but those closest to me.
is any of this healthy?
it can't be. it's as if i'm already dead.
all i can think to do now is exercise more, quit smoking cigs, be kind to my body,
i have the strongest impulse to delete this right now