Secrets; do you have any? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Secrets; do you have any?

I have one friend. We have told each other everything. I mean absolutely everything. It sort of became the basis of our friendship that we have a sort of total, blinding, veritaserum type honesty. Luckily, we are very alike so nothing is too freaky.

One of the issues with having a friendship of total honesty is that you have to be prepared to start to think that the other person is some sort of creep...then you realize that you are pretty creepy yourself. Then you shrug and move on.
 
I don't think that anybody likes to talk about stuff that makes them feel broken. Yes, I have secrets. Telling or not telling from either side of the relationship is dependent upon trust. Uh, yea... I also have trust issues so.... It takes a lot for me to let someone close enough to know my secrets.
 
aerosol said:
when i chit-chat with random people i feel like the biggest liar.

i don't want to talk about nothing with people, i don't want to pretend to care or act like i'm interested. yet i do, because others do this with ease. it's part of human interaction. i have to do it or else i am deemed a "snob", or "anti-social". or my favorite - people thinking i have a low self esteem. maybe, just maybe, i don't say anything because i don't have anything good to say? what about that?
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This precisely.
 
The secrets that I keep don't entail any dramas. They are just flaws and mistakes I've made that I know other people would judge me for so I keep it to myself.
 
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Where do you guys get these secrets? I can't think of anything in my life that truly has such astronomical implications. Perhaps someone will give an example? :)
I am firmly of the opinion that absolute honesty is the only way to understanding. Obviously I don't expect everyone I meet to pour their heart out to me about the time they stole a cookie. But, if the situation is relevant, I need to know what's up.
 
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I will confess one secret. Not that it matters anymore now that I'm in college, but one time I cheated on a math test that would make the difference between an A and B...for the semester...and the year.

I was a bit anal about having straight A's that year haha.
 
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I am of the opinion that there isn't a single person without some form of skeleton in their closet.
Agreed.

Are there certain things about yourself or memories that you will likely never reveal to anyone?
Some, yes. Although most of my personal secrets are not shared due to a lack of trust, and an overabundance of insecurity. If one of the few people I trusted wanted to know, I don't know what would happen. Then again, if I trusted them, they'd know me well enough to know that I have my secrets and I like it that way.

Does it bother you if you know someone close to you is this way? If you are good enough friends with someone do you feel betrayed if you realize they are purposefully keeping information from you? I mean in the sense that I am assuming this information has no direct connection to your relationship with this person and doesn't serve to harm you in any way.
Not really. I would like to know, as I'm a nosy person like that, but I understand that everyone has their secrets, and if they don't want to share them, that's fine with me... so long as it's nothing that's related to or could harm me or anyone I care about.
 
I valued secrets more when I was young, but as i get older, not a fan. I don't mind someone knowing me completely. The key of course is to do this with someone who is deserving and trustworthy, who understands and won't judge.
 
Res said:
I valued secrets more when I was young, but as i get older, not a fan. I don't mind someone knowing me completely. The key of course is to do this with someone who is deserving and trustworthy, who understands and won't judge.
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I have yet to meet someone who is trustworthy and open minded enough to accept me for every little personal detail. Or maybe I have and I just haven't trusted them enough out of my own fears.

But I mostly just don't see anything wrong with it, as long as it isn't hurting anyone.

I think if you have a secret that eats away at you and makes you feel sick to your stomach when you think about it, it is probably something that needs to be told. At least in confidence to a therapist if not a friend.
 
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Jill Hives said:
I think if you have a secret that eats away at you and makes you feel sick to your stomach when you think about it, it is probably something that needs to be told. At least in confidence to a therapist if not a friend.
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If I had something like this I would tell my friend Brian far sooner than I would ever tell a therapist. I don't trust therapists at all, after all they may be legally bound but they are just strangers after all really and I don't usually see them as any more than that.

And they have "the rapist" in their name D:
 
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Sali said:
If I had something like this I would tell my friend Brian far sooner than I would ever tell a therapist. I don't trust therapists at all, after all they may be legally bound but they are just strangers after all really and I don't usually see them as any more than that.

And they have "the rapist" in their name D:
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[MENTION=3255]Sali[/MENTION] - Would you tell your friend Brian you blew a dog?
 
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middle1 said:
The secrets that I keep don't entail any dramas. They are just flaws and mistakes I've made that I know other people would judge me for so I keep it to myself.
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+1
 
Hi-5s [MENTION=3255]Sali[/MENTION] and [MENTION=3240]Jill Hives[/MENTION]!
 
nooooooooooooooooo OF COURSE NOT
 
Skeletons in the closet. No. Secrets as in things I hide, yes but, they are hardly skeletons. They are just special things, dreams and hopes mainly, that I keep for myself where no one can tarnish them. Of course no one knows everything about me but someone knows each of the somethings.

Also, I'm not upset by people keeping secrets from me. I'm generally curious but I respect others need for privacy. Of course, I've never been in the situation where a secret kept might impact me negatively. I'm not too sure how I would handle that. I just feel that a person's privacy should be respected and I can't really see myself breaching that. It would be better to walk away.
 
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