Rape prevention and female self-defense

[bamf]

Does anyone else think that this is a little bit backward? The way we teach rape prevention is female self-defense? It's ridiculous. In order to curb rape, we teach women to carry mace, to have their keys out before heading towards the car, how to punch with keys in hand, what to look out for, not to travel alone...yada yada yada. Does anyone else see what's missing from the picture?

A huge majority of rapes are committed by men against women. Rape isn't just any violent crime; it's a crime against sexual orientation/gender, and is a crime of power. Rape is to reinforce the idea that women are to be sub-dominant to men. The very way we go about preventing rape only strengthens the idea that men are above women. We teach women to fear men, that men will hurt them, that there's always someone lurking in the shadows, that they need men to protect them from other men. Our current steps in rape prevention only underline the ingrained thoughts-of-difference between men and women.

Not only that, our rape prevention strategies are targeting the wrong crowd. It would be like in attempts to prevent graffiti, we educated store owners not to build stores in certain areas, and then let them fend for themselves against the graffiti artists. Rape prevention is currently burdening women to prevent rape. It creates an unspoken idea that it is up to women to stop rape. This is wrong, and backwards.

Real rape prevention should be directed at men, specifically young boys. The action heroes, police dramas, toys, and video games all teach boys that men are supposed to be violent. That real men use violence. There is danger in this if we ignore/dismiss the notion. Just look around us. Violent, aggressive, men are idealized and it's what many boys strive to be. Real men shot guns, kill bad guys, get in fights, and in some cases, objectify women. James Bond? The girls in music videos? Porn easily accessible? Take that into consideration when we add in the thought that women need men to protect them, and need to be educated in ways to fend off male assailants, and what do we get? The idea that women are less of a person than men.

So what does this have to do with rape prevention/education? Well before anyone gets in an uproar about how I painted an unfair image of men, that we can't go around changing society, that men aren't violent, and yada yada yada...just consider for a second that I might be right. Just maybe, we do idealize, on a general basis, violent men, and that just maybe this is what many (definitely not all) boys strive to grow up to be like. The rough and tumble fighter who gets to fuck a million ladies. Maybe, just maybe, we're giving our boys some whacky role models, or at the very least, failing in educating them about how to treat women.

So what can be changed in rape prevention? Take the burden of prevention off of women, and give it to men. Rape is overwhelmingly committed by men, so why don't we focus a majority of rape prevention towards men? We need to educate young men, especially boys, in ways of fair/equal treatment of women, and work on erasing the idea that women are second rate citizens. Educate boys in ways to keep from objectifying women, and start on deconstructing the control of power men have over women.


***those are just my thoughts, I'd like if people shared theirs!***

 

[Faye]

People don't want to give up the violent socialization of men. It is horrible.

Another thing that they should consider is that, we need to dismiss the myth of random stranger in dark alley raping you. Yes, that does happen, but you're much more likely to be raped by your friend, boyfriend, etc.... so really, we need to teach women how to be more careful in interpersonal relationships as well as getting rid of violence in men and patriarchy.

 

[soulseeker]

Does anyone else think that this is a little bit backward? The way we teach rape prevention is female self-defense? It's ridiculous. In order to curb rape, we teach women to carry mace, to have their keys out before heading towards the car, how to punch with keys in hand, what to look out for, not to travel alone...yada yada yada. Does anyone else see what's missing from the picture?

A huge majority of rapes are committed by men against women. Rape isn't just any violent crime; it's a crime against sexual orientation/gender, and is a crime of power. Rape is to reinforce the idea that women are to be sub-dominant to men. The very way we go about preventing rape only strengthens the idea that men are above women. We teach women to fear men, that men will hurt them, that there's always someone lurking in the shadows, that they need men to protect them from other men. Our current steps in rape prevention only underline the ingrained thoughts-of-difference between men and women.

Not only that, our rape prevention strategies are targeting the wrong crowd. It would be like in attempts to prevent graffiti, we educated store owners not to build stores in certain areas, and then let them fend for themselves against the graffiti artists. Rape prevention is currently burdening women to prevent rape. It creates an unspoken idea that it is up to women to stop rape. This is wrong, and backwards.

Real rape prevention should be directed at men, specifically young boys. The action heroes, police dramas, toys, and video games all teach boys that men are supposed to be violent. That real men use violence. There is danger in this if we ignore/dismiss the notion. Just look around us. Violent, aggressive, men are idealized and it's what many boys strive to be. Real men shot guns, kill bad guys, get in fights, and in some cases, objectify women. James Bond? The girls in music videos? Porn easily accessible? Take that into consideration when we add in the thought that women need men to protect them, and need to be educated in ways to fend off male assailants, and what do we get? The idea that women are less of a person than men.

So what does this have to do with rape prevention/education? Well before anyone gets in an uproar about how I painted an unfair image of men, that we can't go around changing society, that men aren't violent, and yada yada yada...just consider for a second that I might be right. Just maybe, we do idealize, on a general basis, violent men, and that just maybe this is what many (definitely not all) boys strive to grow up to be like. The rough and tumble fighter who gets to fuck a million ladies. Maybe, just maybe, we're giving our boys some whacky role models, or at the very least, failing in educating them about how to treat women.

So what can be changed in rape prevention? Take the burden of prevention off of women, and give it to men. Rape is overwhelmingly committed by men, so why don't we focus a majority of rape prevention towards men? We need to educate young men, especially boys, in ways of fair/equal treatment of women, and work on erasing the idea that women are second rate citizens. Educate boys in ways to keep from objectifying women, and start on deconstructing the control of power men have over women.


***those are just my thoughts, I'd like if people shared theirs!***

I think you're right

I think people should also educate everybody about media... that not all they see is what they get... and they should filter what they get form media

"Bad media is bad but the greater evil is media ignorance"
-uhhh I don't know who said this .. but I know someone said this

you should enter hollywood and be the next REAL James Bond
and teach the violent men/boys wtvr how to be a real man/boy/guy wtvr ahahahaha

because violence.... is bad
<----the creepy guy that might rape in a dark alley

 

[Reon]

Does anyone else think that this is a little bit backward? The way we teach rape prevention is female self-defense? It's ridiculous. In order to curb rape, we teach women to carry mace, to have their keys out before heading towards the car, how to punch with keys in hand, what to look out for, not to travel alone...yada yada yada. Does anyone else see what's missing from the picture?

A huge majority of rapes are committed by men against women. Rape isn't just any violent crime; it's a crime against sexual orientation/gender, and is a crime of power. Rape is to reinforce the idea that women are to be sub-dominant to men. The very way we go about preventing rape only strengthens the idea that men are above women. We teach women to fear men, that men will hurt them, that there's always someone lurking in the shadows, that they need men to protect them from other men. Our current steps in rape prevention only underline the ingrained thoughts-of-difference between men and women.

Not only that, our rape prevention strategies are targeting the wrong crowd. It would be like in attempts to prevent graffiti, we educated store owners not to build stores in certain areas, and then let them fend for themselves against the graffiti artists. Rape prevention is currently burdening women to prevent rape. It creates an unspoken idea that it is up to women to stop rape. This is wrong, and backwards.

Real rape prevention should be directed at men, specifically young boys. The action heroes, police dramas, toys, and video games all teach boys that men are supposed to be violent. That real men use violence. There is danger in this if we ignore/dismiss the notion. Just look around us. Violent, aggressive, men are idealized and it's what many boys strive to be. Real men shot guns, kill bad guys, get in fights, and in some cases, objectify women. James Bond? The girls in music videos? Porn easily accessible? Take that into consideration when we add in the thought that women need men to protect them, and need to be educated in ways to fend off male assailants, and what do we get? The idea that women are less of a person than men.

So what does this have to do with rape prevention/education? Well before anyone gets in an uproar about how I painted an unfair image of men, that we can't go around changing society, that men aren't violent, and yada yada yada...just consider for a second that I might be right. Just maybe, we do idealize, on a general basis, violent men, and that just maybe this is what many (definitely not all) boys strive to grow up to be like. The rough and tumble fighter who gets to fuck a million ladies. Maybe, just maybe, we're giving our boys some whacky role models, or at the very least, failing in educating them about how to treat women.

So what can be changed in rape prevention? Take the burden of prevention off of women, and give it to men. Rape is overwhelmingly committed by men, so why don't we focus a majority of rape prevention towards men? We need to educate young men, especially boys, in ways of fair/equal treatment of women, and work on erasing the idea that women are second rate citizens. Educate boys in ways to keep from objectifying women, and start on deconstructing the control of power men have over women.


***those are just my thoughts, I'd like if people shared theirs!***

I'm quoting my post off of INTJ forum because I see no need to repeat this nor do I think we are going to cover any new ground.

This topic is so disappointing to me, this always happens. As soon as a group of people start talking about rape, two groups begin to emerge. One where women must be constantly vigilante and confident so that she will avoid rape; the fault lies with her, not the rapist. The rapist is only but a predator who will logically deduce which woman is worth the risk This group is typical endorsed by males who want to be able to approach women at any time without them being apprehensive towards them because they AREN'T rapist. The second groups consists of those who realize that rapes happen, and it's never the fault of the woman (which it isn't) but must always have a shield and a fear of what a random male do to her. The proponents of this point of view are typically women. I know this is a generalization of this topic but, in general, nothing REALLY has been said that has not been said before.

(Insightful comment added by another poster The problem with this is that it assumes that rapists are just supposed to regulate themselves or that society is supposed to train all young boys/men that rape is wrong; no means no etc. They assume that rape is purely an issue ego and male entitlement created by a society that pushes this ideal of the "assertive male" who brings home the bacon.)

I will post more later

edit:
A huge majority of rapes are committed by men against women

I'm nitpicky, but rape is rape. No matter what.

 

[Soulful]

Brilliant mf. I want to hug you right now, lol. I'll try to comment more tomorrow.

 

[Slayerwolf]

There is a condom out now called the ( Rapex anti-rape condom) worn inside a woman. It has plastic barbed teeth that sink into the man's 8===D as he pull's back. It never ceases to amaze me on technological advancements.

I don't even know if it's sold inside the U.S. but it was created in South Africa . I've seen nothing of it mentioned in the U.S. media. It does have the potential to be abused by women seeking revenge , but I believe the good points of it outweigh the bad points.

Though one downside to it is, once it starts circulating in the media about women using it a lot and the many male attackers being stopped with it... rapists will just start sticking their fingers in first to see if the woman has it inside her, then if she does... the rapist will most likely savagely beat her, then rape her after they pull out the Rapex device, then kill her.

I for one , grew up around guns, and believe in the 2nd amendment strongly. A woman who carries a gun and knows how to use it won't ever be raped, or at least her chances of being raped will be very very unlikely.

I maybe an INFJ ,strong and male,but I'm also an 8W7 enneagram (SP) Self-Preservation variant, I hate war, but I like to see the weak turn the tables on evil predators. That device looks like this>

http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/dailyloaf/files/2009/04/rapex.jpg

 

[Moxie]

The problem is that, unfortunately, ideals don't protect us from rape. We have to learn to defend ourselves, because there is no other choice. I agree with everything mf said, but I also think that in the here and now, such defense is necessary. Unfortunately most men will most likely be much stronger than most women.

I think the problem is that boys are taught from early on to get sex whenever and however they can. A man is not a 'man' until he's had sex. A woman is not 'good' unless she's defended herself against unwanted sex. To me, the fact that most boys are encouraged to be violent, is less important than the fact that they're encouraged to have sex, lots of it - and discussion of the woman's wants and needs rarely take place in that. More men seem to feel sex in general as belonging to them. Very few men actually care about their sexual partners. Sex is less about connection, and more about quantity. And women exploit these things too - there is so much porn out there with a woman being 'used' to fulfill all male fantasies. Her wishes don't matter at all - in porn, women *love* to have cum on their faces, or to be degraded in however many ways they can. So women as well as men are contributing to this thought process.

I'm not going to apologize or defend what I believe. I also believe that in society in general, women are seen as 'lesser.' I know that people will disagree with me, but I've seen enough in my life to know that this is true. In person, if a man and a woman both express the same viewpoint, more people, men and women both, will support the man. Our world is totally messed up in this way. Especially because we keep denying that it's true, when in your mind it may not be true, but in action it is.

 

[Skoffin]

Eh, I honestly have no ideas for how to rectify such problems in the community and the like. I do however think that all rapists should just be put down, perhaps if it's not seen as such a low level crime by the justice system then perhaps less people would contemplate trying it.

 

[Orion]

So what can be changed in rape prevention? Take the burden of prevention off of women, and give it to men. Rape is overwhelmingly committed by men, so why don't we focus a majority of rape prevention towards men? We need to educate young men, especially boys, in ways of fair/equal treatment of women, and work on erasing the idea that women are second rate citizens. Educate boys in ways to keep from objectifying women, and start on deconstructing the control of power men have over women.

There are two ways to deal with violence/rape against women. The indirect way, which is a more long term sociological solution where we educate young men and erase ideas in society as a form of long term protection. However, that takes time, effort and money to even instigate large scale things like that.

Then we need a direct solution to the problem right now.

Combat psychologists, military combatives experts and self protection instructors studies in how to diffuse violence come mainly from research carried out in the second world war by people like William Fairbairn. Most systems or respected experts in the field of self protection absolutely understand that teaching people to avoid violence in the first place is too late. BUT it is the best we can do because the question for those people is: "How can I teach a person to make themselves less of a victim of attack?" That is a down to earth, direct and pragmatic solution needed NOW.

Most good and respectable people in this field understand that is is woefully inadequate but it is the best they can do until society is fundamentally changed to the point where the odds aren't so stacked against the victim.

Now whether or not the self protection works for women, is another topic entirely.

 

[Orion]

Eh, I honestly have no ideas for how to rectify such problems in the community and the like. I do however think that all rapists should just be put down, perhaps if it's not seen as such a low level crime by the justice system then perhaps less people would contemplate trying it.

Rape is not seen as a low level crime, it is up there with murder.

 

[Skoffin]

Depends where you are I guess. Plenty of places only give rapists around 7 years, some even lighten sentences then that. A crime that destroys a persons life should at least warrant a life sentence, until it does I am going to see it as being regarded as a low level crime. Even though, from my perspective, I see rape as far worse than murder.

 

[Orion]

Depends where you are I guess. Plenty of places only give rapists around 7 years, some even lighten sentences then that. A crime that destroys a persons life should at least warrant a life sentence, until it does I am going to see it as being regarded as a low level crime. Even though, from my perspective, I see rape as far worse than murder.

Well in the UK, it is frequently remarked on in the news how most people consider rape to be second from murder. But at the same time, the punishments do not reflect severity of the crime either. Anyway, if you start giving all rapists full life sentences, we'd have a housing crisis on our hands.

 

[Skoffin]

Hence why we should shoot them.

 

[Orion]

Hence why we should shoot them.

Heh, I thought you'd say that.

Capital punishment is wrong. No matter how bad the situation is.

 

[Shai Gar]

Prevent Rape.
Say Yes.​

 

[Moxie]

*drops ACME anvil on Shai Gar's head*

 

[soulseeker]

The problem is that, unfortunately, ideals don't protect us from rape. We have to learn to defend ourselves, because there is no other choice. I agree with everything mf said, but I also think that in the here and now, such defense is necessary. Unfortunately most men will most likely be much stronger than most women.

I think the problem is that boys are taught from early on to get sex whenever and however they can. A man is not a 'man' until he's had sex. A woman is not 'good' unless she's defended herself against unwanted sex. To me, the fact that most boys are encouraged to be violent, is less important than the fact that they're encouraged to have sex, lots of it - and discussion of the woman's wants and needs rarely take place in that. More men seem to feel sex in general as belonging to them. Very few men actually care about their sexual partners. Sex is less about connection, and more about quantity. And women exploit these things too - there is so much porn out there with a woman being 'used' to fulfill all male fantasies. Her wishes don't matter at all - in porn, women *love* to have cum on their faces, or to be degraded in however many ways they can. So women as well as men are contributing to this thought process.

This is sooo true....and soooo sad........ why are there people like that???

 

[soulseeker]

Prevent Rape.
Say Yes.​

rape yourself!

 

[Orion]

This is sooo true....and soooo sad........ why are there people like that???

But then we come to the issue that very few people know or have what it takes to actually learn how to do it.

 

[soulseeker]

But then we come to the issue that very few people know or have what it takes to actually learn how to do it.

learn how to do what? defend themselves?