Quotes from Family Members

  • Thread starter Thread starter Shai Gar
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Shai Gar

Me: One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
My Cousin Jeremy: Bullshit. Always cheat, it builds a strong habit

any quotes from your family members?
Grandpa: "How long has aunt amy been dead?"
Grandma: "Oh, in the basement? Their still fresh."
*everyone cracks up*

My grandma has bad hearing and is very ditsy . She thought someone asked her about potatos, and didn't understand why everyone was laughing.
It's pretty much only my grandma who goes around repeating quotes in her conversations. The one I know her for the most is "patience is a virtue, posess it if you can" an indication that she's frustrated with somebody but doesn't have the heart to tell them to get lost or fix whatever it is that they're doing.
Sister: rfgpfdlkgfl;kg
Slant: does that mean
Slant: Goodnight?
Sister: Supposively

Slant: I really have no beliefs at this point because I came to a point in my life where I realized there is no right or wrong unless you define it by something
Cousin: I figure if the world cannot be understood mechanistically, it's all meaningless by definition.

That's all I have.
Honest to God statements from my ESTP mother - all of these say "you" but she means them as general, blanket statements for everyone:

"You can tell a virgin by the way she walks."
"You should always buy shoes that make your feet look small."
"Hospitals want to take your internal organs and sell them to rich people."
" 'They're' always listening on your phone line." --Whoever 'they' are.
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To be honest, I don't really pay attention anymore. Most phone conversations these days are so boring that I just tune them out.
Wait, people still talk on the phone these days? I thought it was all about text messages.
Ok, so this likely won't make sense to anyone, and the hilarity of it won't translate over because of the voices my aunt's used (just the way they sounded was SO hilarious):

I was at my aunt J's house for christmas and everyone else had gone out for something. My aunt J had been baking cookies in her kitchen all day, and me and my aunt L were in the living room watching a movie eating tons of said cookies:

Aunt L: Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag? (my aunt L calls aunt J "bag" when she wants something, not sure why)
Me: hahahahahahahah!! (because of the way she said it)
Aunt L: Go get me more cookies...
Aunt J: *stomp**stomp**stomp* L, I already gaaaaave you all the cookies! And I am not going to give you aaaaaaannyyy more!
Aunt L: Meemeemeemeememeememe!!!!!! (in a very high pitched voice)
Me: AHAHAHAHAHAH! *falls off couch from laughing*
Aunt J: Look what you did to Pietey, L, NO MORE COOKIES!

Again, it might not appear funny, but because they said all this in cartoon voices (they were just playing), it was SO funny!
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Brother: I thought of a good invention...
Me: Yeah?
Brother: Rice.
Me: :confused:
One of my sisters once said this quote after watching a short documentary on fainting goats and I quote
" It would suck if people passed out when they get scared like those goats... You would be... Like... Having a nightmare and all the sudden you would pass out"

Thats a true story and then my younger sis raised the bar at least an inch higher with this shocking quote. Welp let me preface this with a little information to set the scene for you guys. My sis and I had just pulled into my driveway after taking a little trip, the car I drive will automatically unlock the doors when the vehicle is put in park however if you try to open the door prematurely the automatic unlock will not occur... I put the vehicle in park and quickly jumped out and hurried inside. When I arrived inside my house my cell started ringing... Guess who? Its my lil sis, and here comes the quote. When I said hello she unleashed something that would have made Nietzsche become a Christian...
"Um... Hey... Im locked inside your car and I cant get out"
Now guys I love my sisters like crazy but... Honestly... WOW, I believe that both my sisters whom I DO LOVE VERY MUCH single-handedly disprove Darwinism in one fell swoop ! Which is as I see it quite and accomplishment for two Sensing Feelers not yet old enough to buy alcohol... Thank you guys and hope you enjoyed my family quotes...
disprove darwinism, but they givehis cousin sir francis galton ammunition for his cause.
XD You're familiar with his theories then?

ETA: oops, my bad, I just saw the XNTP under your name... Of course you're familiar with his theories.
Yes Mr. Gar I am probably the most theoretical peeps you will meet... NTP right? Holla @ me some time if your ever want to discuss some theories...
My email is mjgjr706@yahoo.com or you can hit me up on here... Whatever you like... I usually dont IM because my work hours are really odd and my schedule is busy plus I have just never IM'd much.
Grandma, talking about her high school sweetheart that she found a picture of while cleaning the house:

"He's still alive, but I think he might be dead."