Q's For Other INFJs

Recently, I've been caring a lot about someone right now who's going through some tough times.

I'd say I only care if I have a reason to, such as the person in mind is a good/close friend of mine. Makes days a bit easier to go by, since as much as it is wrong not to think about them, the people starving in Africa, sadly, I can't do much about at the moment.

I can say that I internalize the reactions of people I care about a bit too much. Even if they are physically and appear to be mentally fine with the situation, if it's something I wouldn't be able to comprehend, I still internalize their situation into stress for myself.

I find that as long as I can talk to others about it while still being discreet, the stress tends to lessen. It leaves me mentally drained, though.

It might just be that we care too much. It's bad when it starts affecting sleep and health, but it shows we really do care... Right?

Can't say I have the cough and itching thing. I do suddenly have a runny nose for some unknown reason, though.

 

I care a lot what other people think of me though i'm pretty good at concealing it. My sister, who is an ENFP, thinks that I don't care what anyone thinks. Of course I don't *want* to care what people think of me, so I try my hardest not to -- though I usually fail.

I guess I'm stuck with Fe, it's just sort of there all the time. It's not something I can consciously control.

 

I remember at middle school my teacher telling my parents that I was the most sensitive kid she has seen in her career. So yeah, I guess I am a bit on the sensitive side

And yes, sometimes I do care too much on how other people think of me. Especially when I have feelings for those people or when I feel vulnerable. But for the rest of population I usually do not care at all.

Over-sensitivity to other people is a very draining activity - so I know what you mean by "wish I was a T instead of an F". Been there many times myself. I think it's because Fe is our secondary process, so sometimes we use it less than gracefully or downright messy. If you think about it - it makes very little sense to worry about all those things. It might appear that you're concerned about others - but in reality it's just your own (often selfish) feelings stuck in a vicious circle. The only way to stop it is to change it's direction from negative to positive. I have learned this by observing ENFJ in how magnificently they can handle Fe activities. A general rule is to think why other people might like you instead of fearing rejection. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when you do this.

And I wouldn't trade F for T - even with all it's current drawbacks

Thinking types also have their own problems: my INTJ friend recently told me he could not sleep for several nights in a row, because he was overwhelmed by thoughts on how to colonize planet Mars He accidentally got into this state after watching a documentary on the topic. Can you imagine having that sort of problem?

And for this part - may I suggest visiting a doctor :/

 

yes
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yes to all........i itch a lot (in fact i am itching now).. and i have runny nose too (if i drink something hot, or if it's going to rain, i get runny nose)

i try not to care about what others think but... i just can't!!!! i can't sleep too thinking about everything.......i OVER THINK.......i kind of like OVER DO EVERYTHING I DO...........
and yes it has long lasting negative effects!!!! ahahahahaha (hurt)
i don't want that to happen for the rest of my life but i don't know how to avoid it..... and yeah i am over hyperly sensitive.....mega sensitive!! forever sensitive!!! I AM A SENSITIVE FREAK!!!!! AND I HATE IT!!!!!!! I CARE ABOUT OTHERS AND WHAT OTHERS THINK AND WHAT I DO AND WHAT I SAY.....TOO MUCH TOO MUCHHHHHHHHH.MAYBE I CARE ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!!!!!! I'M PARANOID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

You are special, unique, and should be thankful for what you have and what you are. Somewhere millions of people have it worse.
You may be having an allergic reaction to something.....

 

I would love to think that I don't care what others think of me but I can't help it. My insides start to twitch and feel very uncomfortable if I pretend something is not affecting me and at the end I give in to whichever situation I'm facing just to stop feeling like that. I don't consider myself over sensitive but when it comes to other people's feelings I have this tendency to protect them from feeling bad.

 

Yes to all. I was teased and bullied by some and praised by others as the "quiet sensitive little hippie boy".

One thing I have noticed is that when something bad happens to someone I'm close to when anything pertaining to that thing happens to be in the news it can drive me to tears or make me red with rage. So after what happened to a friend any news story dealing with rape or sexual abuse can make me lose it emotionally. I even found myself cursing South Africa under my breath because they elected a rapist ***hole to be their president. :shocked:

 

Yes, I am sensitive. Yes, I care what others think.

And yet... Lately I've been learning, growing. I think I've been healing. I am learning to draw distinction between 'myself' and 'others'. Not that I am discounting others, but I am allowing myself to be happy with myself. I am not perfect, not complete, but I am pleased that I've come so far, and will continue to grow. When I am satisfied with myself, I do not 'need' the opinions of others. I still view others' opinions as valuable perspectives, but I stand apart from what others think of me. It has been good to learn this, and it will continue to benefit me as I grow in this.

 

So first, are you a sensitive person? yes verry
Specifically, do you care what others think? yes
Do you care too much? yes
Do you internalize others reactions to you too much? yes
Does this create lasting negative impacts on you? yes- its a killer
Next, do you ever have trouble getting away from this? i can't get away from it

'Right now I kinda wish I was a T instead of an F, just because I think I'd be happier that way.'
never lose the F! ist a gift. use it wisely. don't think of it as a burden, rock out to it, and use it to your advantige. youd be lost without it

 

So first, are you a sensitive person? YES
Specifically, do you care what others think? YES, even though I try not to let that affect my decisions and choices.
Do you care too much? YES
Do you internalize others reactions to you too much? YES
Does this create lasting negative impacts on you? YES

Next, do you ever have trouble getting away from this?
Yes, I still don't know how to.

 

I used to care what EVERYONE thought of me. Now I only care what you think *if* I care about you. So I guess people only have as much power over my emotions/feelings as I give them.

 

Yeah, I am sensitive but no longer to the point that I express this anytime someone triggers it. I am very aware of my sensitivity but haven't yet completely removed my desire to know what others think of me. It gets easier as I get older.

I internalize others reactions if they have the wrong impression or I upset/interrupt their 'flow', so to speak. A lasting negative impact may come to me in the form of me not repeating actions or phrases that resulted in awkward interactions with people.

I'm pretty familiar with the people-pleaser in me so I can relate to sometimes wanting a stronger T over F. Picking up and empathizing with other's feelings can be exhausting.

 

I very much want to impress people and I want recognition. I HATE that part about myself. I wish I couldn't care less. I don't care if people don't like me or what not, as long as they are impressed by my 'talents'. I know, it's really vain and it eats away at me at times. I feed off of positive feedback and ignorantly brush off the negative.

I kinda have learned not to let the bad things people say or think get me down. I pretty much let people down in the end so I try not to expect it from other people.

When I was little I use to have what I think were undiagnosed anxiety problems. They only resurface now when I'm 'expanding my mind'.

 

I am both sensitive and not. Like anyone I have my buttons. If I don't care about something, I just don't care. But there are things that tweak my titties and get me fired up. And not always fired up in a good way.

I suppose I do care what others think. Or more accurately I care when someone tries to pigeonhole me without a history that supports their judgement.

I internalize things as a rule. Things are brought inside me to be mulled over, picked at, prodded and poked, examined for fine print and whats between the lines etc. But that is how I work. Just by bringing all these things inside it does create hurt. Could any INFJ hear someone badmouthing them and not bring it in to look back and wonder if in fact they deserve what is being said?

No trouble getting away from it. Well, not anymore at least. I taught myself to uncare about things, and to take an objectional step to the side in order to reevaluate things. In a way I do regret teaching myself this because it means I am no longer as empathic to the plights of others. That and I am picky and choosey about who I care about and who I don't.

 

Yes I am a sensitive person, and yes I care what others think (sometimes too much but I'm trying to work on that). It's confusing to me because I DO care what people think about me but I don't let that sway my decisions or actions on issues I care about.

YES I definitely internalize other's reactions towards me.

Yes, it does create lasting negative impacts on me. (I'm working on that too)

Yes, I do have trouble getting away from this, but it's been a little easier the last couple of weeks because I've been trying to not put as much emphasis on others views and opinions of me.

I hope this all works itself out for you (and your cough and itchyness goes away).

 

Yes to all your questions.