Personalities in person vs online

While I tend to connect with (and try to befriend) more INxx types, in public it's been evidenced that I'm a flame to the ESxx moths of the world. Therefore, 95% of my friends are extraverts; in fact, I don't even think I have a friend or acquaintance who's an INFx, excluding family. I'm so socially awkward/"shy" so I know I'm not approachable to them.

In general, I'm one of two people in social settings:
a) awkward, quiet, eccentric, amusingly-dressed girl (hey, I wear fun clothes) who only speaks when she has something she thinks is worth saying... she probably comes off either snobbish, depressing, or just really really REALLY awkward.

b) easy-going, sarcastic, witty girl who's slightly ditzy and still dresses amusingly. She seems more interesting/fun than a-girl to most people.

B-girl is who I try to be when I'm around people I know won't really understand A-girl. I don't know which of these girls attracted my friends, but once I become A-girl around them they just get a confused look on their faces and either shrug or try and figure me out.

Online, on the other hand, I'm pretty much always A-girl. That's because I can take the time to collect my thoughts and write what I really want other people to hear, er, read. I can convey myself more clearly. And then I usually can communicate better with pretty much everyone quite easily!

 

Online I find a lot of my interactions go as follows.


In real life my interactions with others usually end up like this.

 

Erm...


I was enamored by an introverted person who spoke wonderfully via internet, but ultimately left me unimpressed and disappoitned in person.

It's tricky. I ended believing in something that wasn't there because I was only processing words, not body language, facial expression, tone, etc. My intuition was stunted! Ah!

 

LOL, it happened to me too a few months ago. I literally fell in love with this girl over the internet and it was nothing as I had imagined. I was disillusioned

 

I saw him in person, too, but most of it was online, and some in text.


If you just read the text...

argh. This was literally the end of March, and it's all still very vivid.

 

I think that this question is a difficult one to answer because people are different in person than they are on-line. For example (I will use myself), being an INFJ, I am quiet and pensive. Now, in person, that would be totally obvious. On-line, however, I say things more often and challange others where I would not in person. I may come across as less "quiet" by the simple fact that I feel safer here to say what I actually think/feel.

Now, the real question is which persona is the real me? I would have to say the on-line me is the closet that others can get. With anonymity I feel more at ease to express myself truthfully. I am more apt to say something unusual without the fear of rejection from others. I may not share details of my physical world, but make no mistake, I share my inner most thoughts.

I have a deep seeded desire to belong, as I am sure we all do. However, I like to have my space and recoil without offending others. I think the Internet is proof positive that Introverts exist.

Ok, now getting to the point of the matter. Since I know that I am not so different from others that they cannot relate to what I just said, who's to know if the INFJ on the other end is really and INFJ, or just one on-line. Therefore, I wonder if I would get along with the same individual on-line as I would in person.

 

Aren't they both the "real" you? It's you reacting to two different environments and being yourself in different situations.

 

Rogo, I think you're pretty much the same.. Maybe a tad funnier in person.
Am I different online than in person?

 

Let's put it this way: I get along with everyone better online. Even the egotistical bastards. In real life, I guess its sort of the same, although I'm much more reserved (read: less inclined to joke around with loud, knee-slapping peeps). But I tend to get along with ESFJ's and INXX types the best.

Mind, give me an argument I can be passionate about, and I'll go head to head with anyone.

 

I try to present myself online the same way I present myself in real life. I do think I appear much more logical and certian online then I am in person. I am also more open and I approach people more readily online. I almost never approach someone in real life, and wait for them to approach me first.

I seem to get along with the same kind of people online then I would in real life (more or less). I like to think I am good a deceifering what a person will be like going by how the interact online. In real life, I am friends with ALOT of FP's and almost all of my friends (with like the exception of one person) are an F type. I don't really choose that. It sort of just happens that way.

 

I probably am much funnier in person. My best qualities cant be conveyed on a forum. AKA my wardrobe.

You are pretty much the same, but more adorably sarcastic and a better dancer. You are more friendly in person too. Here you are more cut and dry about things because you tend to respond mostly to threads in which the topics you find are deplorable.

 

Yes. Your wardrobe is the bees' knees.
And you know me too well.

 

You sense of style are something I get inspired by. Very colorful and flowing.

 

My personality online does not differ much from real life.

The main difference would be that I get to read what I type before I send it and I get to modify it if I deem something is wrong.

However in real life the connection and emotions within the conversation makes the value and quality of the conversation higher than online.

Webcam chat maybe considered the in-between.



In terms of how they are online compared to how they are in life, I usually keep all conversations about core aspects of the people themselves. I steer away from talk that encourage bullshitting and if I sense deception the relationship no longer presents itself as something I consider enjoyable or productive.

 

As I've learned from experience, the vast majority of people are significantly different in how they present themselves in person to how they present themselves online.

In the vast majority of cases, individuals are far more open online, and far more willing to present the more "extreme" sides of their personalities to other people than they would be in person.

On the internet, it easy to find a clique of people that share your similar mentality and shoe-horn yourself in with them. You can surround yourself in like-minded people on a computer, if you so choose... even this forum is an example of that.

Offline, you don't have that inconvenience. You have to deal with humanity as it is, with all its people, in all their shapes and sizes.

When I talk to a person online, I expect them to present to me who they really are, not who they would like to me. Unfortunately, I've discovered that the vast majority of people tend to prefer the later; instead of trying to make themselves into the person they want to be, they just use the internet as a comfort blanket from reality, along with all the confrontations and conflicts that come as part of human diversity.

Myself? I'm exactly the same online as I am offline. I've gone out of my way to ensure I present myself as such.

That includes the abrasiveness and passion for standing up for what I believe in, even if it causes conflict. Only cowards fear conflict. I rarely feel the need to share my personal life with relative strangers either, and I don't do the "friends" thing online half as much as most people do, but I tend to be a pretty open book anyway.

 

In an ideal world, yes we should be the same on and offline (in a perfect world), but many don't have that luxury, which is why we visit forums such as this.

Whether we want to show our supposedly true selves, is not always a personal or deliberate decision. To put everyone in the same box, describing them as just not dealing with reality is lumping everyone into this huge undifferentiated mass. Everyone has a "reality" to deal with and handles it differently. Someone can "play" at being online or "play" at being in person, whatever the reason, that's the way it is.

 

Why? How it that important?


Anyway, in relation to the OP, it's kinda odd but I find I appreciate INFPs a whole heap online, they're often witty, random and warm in the most delightful way, however irl I struggle to see their warmth, it's kept hidden from me. So for me I get along with them better online.

 

I have a much harder time communicating with people I interact with than online. This is because I am extremely introverted and have a very hard time expressing my ideas and beliefs. I am also sort of withdrawn from people because I want to avoid conflict or misunderstandings. I am also seem as strange by others around me. I live in a community and to be more general city (Miami) where basically everyone is extroverted, not only that but I'm pretty most are ESXX. Growing up, I have been bullied by a lot of kids, and even know that I'm in 11th grade the problem continues. I barely talk to anybody and when I am talking is usually others approaching me wanting to copy my homework or something. They would even sometimes pretend to be my friend just for that purpose, but I know what they are realty up to and have been back stabbed several of times by those people. I tend to relate with introverts better, and when I do meet one in Miami I try to approach them but we are just way to ''shy'' or ''Not interested'' to talk, which makes communication extremely difficult.

 

No, usually it's just that the lack of clickiness isn't as painfully obvious as it is in person.

You think you like a person O.K. online, and off line you bloody hate them.

There's a delicate equation to online relations.
Love a person online= You do O.K. in person, you like them a lot but do not love
Like a person online= In person, you find them boring but easy to tolerate
O.K. with a person online= Bloody hate them in person
Hate a person online= If you were left in a room with this guy ( obviously in person) and each of you have a hacksaw...good luck. Hope you come out alive.