Online vs. Real Life | INFJ Forum

Online vs. Real Life

Faye

Faye

^_^
Retired Staff
Mar 9, 2009
7,348
5,449
892
Gridania
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I've decided that I can never truly judge a person's character from how they are online. Many people seem to be very different in person than they are online. Like, they will be very nice online, but then in person they don't care at all. Its like I'm their online friend, but in real life I'm not their friend.

Its depressing. I hate it. Does anyone else have any problems with this?
 
I honestly trust a lot of the people here to be honest. INFJs are usually honest, so, why not. I usually act how I would in the real world. Except here I'm more comfortable so I might be more outgoing.
 
In real life I'm pretty quiet and don't talk a lot. I'm pretty adaptable, I guess it depends on my company. When I'm with my friend Casey....man....I'll pretty much do any insulting, mindless and thoughtless thing and think it's funny. And then later I'll have to apologize, but still will think it's funny. When I'm with my new INFJ friend that I met named Alex, I'm a lot more talkative and less 'active'. We essentially do nothing. I feel more extroverted because he's so introverted and has social phobia. And then when I'm in large groups people always think I'm serious and smart. But then I'm totally not like that one on one so it's confusing. On the internet, well, I don't know how I am.

Maybe someone will tell me if my description matches up with my online 'profile' that I give off.
 
Dragon said:
I've decided that I can never truly judge a person's character from how they are online. Many people seem to be very different in person than they are online. Like, they will be very nice online, but then in person they don't care at all. Its like I'm their online friend, but in real life I'm not their friend.

Its depressing. I hate it. Does anyone else have any problems with this?
Click to expand...

Short answer is yes, its not the same. However, think of it like this. The way a person seems online is how he/she likes to project/present him/herself online. So really they're being themselves.
 
I make a conscious effort to type here as I would speak in real life. I really just try to portray myself as best as I can without any kind of warped image of myself.

That being said I know I sound harsher on here then I am in real life, because people can't see my emotional reactions and my body language. On AIM I sometimes sound more expressive then I am.
 
It's a bit of both really, for me. I think people open up more online, so you can get to know them more easily than you would face to face, assuming both people have the intenton of being honest. Online interaction is included in my definition of real life. It's not two separate realites, but different aspects of a person are emphasised in the two settings. Face to face, people are perhaps more guarded from the beginning - more frightened of disapproval, so I think it takes a while to build trust, so people don't get hurt. A longstanding face to face friendship translated to an online one will remain the same, but if you begin with an online friendship, moving to a face to face setting means you then have to do the work you have missed, building trust with that person. I don't think you can ever skip that step if you are to develop long lasting friendships, but it doesn't mean that the online communication that came before is a waste of time - it can be a great help to fuel those first awkward face to face conversations. The key is to be patient. :)
 
I think this is a very interesting topic :D
Well for me, I'm more open online than in real life. I'm pretty quiet & timid towards people when we're out in large groups (having friends of friends). I think the trust issue is HUGE for me for both online communication with friends and being out with friends in real life. I don't open up so easily anymore because I got hurt so many times from (or so I thought) the closest friends I once had. So, in cases where I meet people for the first time, as an INFJ I think we have this intuitive feeling of knowing if we're going to get along with a person once we meet him/her for the first time or not. I wonder if other INFJs are like that or is it just me that's like that? I think in any case, we're all more comfortable talking online with friends because we tend to be more open since it's not really a face to face conversation, which makes it hard sometimes to tell if the person is truthful in what they're saying or not, since you can't make eye contact with them.
How about opening up to someone you like, would you want to tell them online or face to face in real life?
I would say face to face is better because you'll see their reaction once you tell them your feelings towards them. If it's going to be really hard and I don't feel comfortable telling them (depending on the person) in person, then I'll tell them online. :m054:

What do you think?
 
Like what has been said, people online are allowed to be themselves. If you saw me in real life, I would be nowhere near as optimistic or take the initiative in terms of giving people compliments/making people feel better. On here, is how I would like to be in real life, like pipsqueaka said, it's a projection of how I want to be.

I'm very reserved and will seem cold around people who I am not familiar with and it takes a long time to penetrate that fa
 
Yield said:
Those initial social barriers are removed on here, because we are all of the same psychological disposition and the extroverts on here are understanding and non-judgemental.
Click to expand...

I agree, the social barriers are removed because we are not putting ourselves and our ego at a risk on here, which is why so many people are comfortable opening up here on infj <3.
 
i find this hard also. i usually speak the way i type here (yes, in long winding sentences with too many commas and conjunctions), but perhaps with more pauses in between.
 
What makes you so sure that people in real life are more sincere than online? In my opinion it may even be the other way around. I know quite a lot of insincere people in real life as well.. They act a certain way, but that's not how they really are at all. Also, it's easier to speak your mind online, at least for me, so I think I might even be myself more on here than when I'm talking face to face with someone. :m054: However I'm always having trouble trusting people. Online and in real life.
 
I had developed a theory about it some months ago. On how the complete lack of threat of physical violence affects the rensponses and behavior of every individual online.


I'm too bored to write it down.:m070:
 
Nela said:
What makes you so sure that people in real life are more sincere than online? In my opinion it may even be the other way around. I know quite a lot of insincere people in real life as well.. They act a certain way, but that's not how they really are at all. Also, it's easier to speak your mind online, at least for me, so I think I might even be myself more on here than when I'm talking face to face with someone. :m054: However I'm always having trouble trusting people. Online and in real life.
Click to expand...


It's the same for me! Trusting someone is really hard for me sometimes too.
 
Creon said:
I had developed a theory about it some months ago. On how the complete lack of threat of physical violence affects the rensponses and behavior of every individual online.


I'm too bored to write it down.:m070:
Click to expand...
C'mon.. You got me interested! :m200:
 
Creon said:
I had developed a theory about it some months ago. On how the complete lack of threat of physical violence affects the rensponses and behavior of every individual online.
Click to expand...

Surely that would only apply if your starting an argument, or being verbally aggressive? Which most of us don't come on here to do. Unless of course you would expect to get slapped by the opposite sex for saying certain things...
 
Yield said:
Surely that would only apply if your starting an argument, or being verbally aggressive? Which most of us don't come on here to do. Unless of course you would expect to get slapped by the opposite sex for saying certain things...
Click to expand...

Hmm.. with such a dirty mind as yours..
 
I wasn't suggesting anything like that- Oh look! A rainbow! (Jumps out a window)
 
I'm far less honest in real life about who I am than online.

If some people who know me in real life were to find this site then they probably would not recognize me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back