Neva | INFJ Forum
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  • How lucky i am to receive message on timely and intuition said to check INFJs. I check this monthly, i think. I have been up and down. well, if you are interested let me know i will PM you. Tell me Neva, what's new with you? :) Have missed you a lot talking with you. :)
    HI neva, are you still active? Well i am here for a while after a year. Time really flies. :)
    Hey there gorgeous, yeah it was amazing. Going back to uni tomorrow, nooooo! I have tons of work to do... Nothing new I guess.

    How are things with you? Watcha been up to? :becky:
    Cool, I hope it works out for you. A friend of mine is coming round to stay next week, she's staying for a few days and my other house mates will be gone so we'll have some time together, which will be good. Only thing that's keeping me going recently, to be honest!
    And I'm good thanks. I finish uni next Friday. Can't wait, almost 3 weeks off!
    Oh, that's awesome Neva! I'm really glad it's gotten better. It must feel like such a relief.
    Well... I hope so. It's gonna take a long time though. I'm at uni now and I'm slowly getting to know people but it's a veeeeeeery slow process for me, haha.

    It's hard starting from the bottom. It feels like I'm doing that over and over again, with everything in my life.

    I do hope you get on good terms with your friend. Let me know what happens! In the mean time, you can always talk to me :becky:
    See, you could say that what you did was out of order, but the way he has reacted is even worse, in my opinion. I don't know Neva, I think you'll just have to wait. At least you're actually attempting to reconcile, whereas my situation is too awkward for either of us to even speak to each other about it. The one who cares the least, controls the relationship. Time just does all the healing I suppose. Maybe he'll get in a bad spot himself and need some help and then if you are there for him, he'll realise what a good friend you are.

    Mines a real "toxic friend", no doubt. Really, as an INFJ, he just has aspects that go completely against what I believe in, so I'm not interested in any thing real with him any more. The first week was the worst because of the tension- that was hell. But now that's gone, it's gotten better now.
    Damn, that sounds really bad. I think we are in slightly different situations though but feel the same. My "friend" was an asshole because he is an asshole. I mean, he was treating me and everyone else like shit, complete lack of respect and he thought he would still keep friends?

    But your friend seems to have been seriously offended by what you said to him. The only thing is, anyone with any sense of decency would see that you are having problems and that your actions towards him were just you going through something and he needs to be there for you, instead of just cutting you off. That's horrible. But then you start getting angry for the way he reacted and it's hard to reconcile because now you're both angry at each other, for different reasons. I mean that's how I see it, I hope I understood it right?

    I know what you mean about screaming! Unfortunately I just bottle everything up and the few things that used to let me release that, I can't do.
    Heh, I dunno either! I'm going through it as well. Basically it's made me realise that he wasn't my friend after all. Two major things have happened to me recently and he completely ignored them. He is no longer my friend, I realise now. I'll be on good terms and I'll avoid any conflict or friction but... That's it. It will never be the same. The hardest part was acknowledging that I actually have no close friends. I mean, I could pretend that we were, to make life easier but that's not how I roll!

    Now I've gotten over it I can just concentrate on either making other, better friends or just being alone. That's how it is for us, I guess.
    When I limit my connection with someone, most of the time, the person doesn't even realise they did something wrong, which is even more annoying but I don't want to talk to them by then so I'm not going to bother explaining. I think a lot of us do that- the "INFJ door slam" (it's in a thread somewhere!) I've heard it called. If it's a breach of trust or whatever on their part, then that's usually down to who they are as a person, not just a isolated moment so it's hard for people to change and therefore really be sorry for those kinds of actions. Once of a piece of you is broken off to mistrust, it's hard to ever get it back.

    It makes you think how fragile and/or damaging relationships can be, even funnier thinking about how most people and personalities are fluid and change/fluctuate over time. So scars that are struck on us, are not by the same people years later. How can we be so harsh to assume no one changes? And that these things- distrust, dishonesty, betrayal etc. are really permanent "scars". It seems silly, considering how short life is, and how our individual lives are really just tiny fragments of time in the wider picture.

    Anyway, what was I saying? Lol, yes it is the same for me. (Got there in the end) :yo:
    Nah I was just thinking about your recent thread. It hit the nail on the head for me for numerous reasons. I'm wondering... If you forgive someone, doesn't that mean you also forget? I mean, if you forgive someone that means that you don't hold a previous transgression on their part, against them. Isn't that "forgetting?" I'm not quite sure because I think I feel the same as you about it but I dunno. So I came to ask :D
    Heeeeeelo! I'm good. Your cat avatar (it is a cat, right?) keeps... Staring at me! But I'm really wondering... How are you?
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