negative aspects of the INFJ
- Thread starter rawr
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Oh gawd, if there's one thing I hate doing is talking on the phone for long periods of time.
It's like... being TRAPPED in a social spot with no way to take a break, no way to actually see the face/body motions of the person talking to, doing things with them (I'm a very socially physical person... not in the "HUG" sense but that when I am being social with someone I don't just like to sit back and talk if I am in the social mood), etc.
I've always felt uncomfortable talking over the phone for long periods. I can talk online easily, but the phone is this weird uncanny valley for me. And my mom wants to do it ALL the damn time despite me having bad relations with her and me having limited minutes.
EDIT: Also, she isn't interested in pursueing a meaningful relationship with you, and INFJ's can be very all or nothing when it comes to friends (no half-weird friendzone friendships or anything). The fact that you are trying to essentially stalk her is probably freaking her out and she's blocking you.
On the friend thing I should say I do have casual friends but if they disappeared without a notice I wouldn't really mind too much. Casual friends would be people I enjoy being around with others for things but can't see myself chatting with them online or wanting to hang out with unless it was a group situation or there was something going on that I would be interested in and was invited to help/do.
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this.
I tend to be hypersensitive to other people's emotions. When two people have a conflict and hurt each other I feel empathy for both of them, then I feel guilty and confused (i try to find someone/something to blame for the conflict, and if I blame one person, I feel guilty because I still feel empathy for them and I just get so horribly confused) I with draw from people and get bitchy, or act oblivious to the problem if I can't withdraw because it's so complex and involved that I can't handle it.
So many of these are painfully familiar...and I can't even tell you why I don't respond to emails sometimes.
How about being deceptive to make people feel better or to avoid awkwardness? Not lying. Just...oh, like, if someone's really enjoying telling me a story I've already heard, I'll pretend that I've never heard it because I don't have the heart to interrupt the,. Or...I'm hyperaware of where people are around me, so I'll pretend not to notice them (if they don't see me) because it's awkward to always be the one who says hi. Anyone relate? Or, if I've run into someone I don't know well several times already, I'll deliberately change my path just so that we don't have another, "Hi." "...Hi." moment.It's awful.
I know you posted this a while ago, but I just wanted to say I do every single one of the things you mentioned. It's almost uncanny how well you described me! It gets really awkward when someone's in the middle of one of those stories I've heard before and they realize that they've already told me...they always say something like "Why didn't you stop me?" and then I feel bad for trying not to make them feel bad.
It's good to know I'm not the only one who does the same thing in awkward situations.
My worst side or negative side of being an INFJ is when i externalize my ego centeredness on others. Hence when i am critical or angry at someone i always end up realizing that i am angry and critical of myself and it is only being projected into an external source.
I am also very sensitive when irritated or frustrated and have a hard time verbalizing my issue to others during that time. Like a crab, i go into a shell. It is quite unhealthy way to express negative emotions.
I am also very sensitive when irritated or frustrated and have a hard time verbalizing my issue to others during that time. Like a crab, i go into a shell. It is quite unhealthy way to express negative emotions.
you either care too much or not at all. Prone to deep depression. Awkwardness in most normal social situations, twinned with sparking arguements which you don't have the slightist interest in. Other than that i have alot of positives.
That's because they're the ones focusing on something awkward instead of moving on.
Your disrupting me, your not fine. Your my negative aspect effecting my emotions. Please go away.
I joke. It was really funny right...?
My personal negative aspects.
Mood swings.
Negative thinking without optimism. (sometimes)
Really bad at explaining, so people can be confuzzled by my words. Not sure if that's a typical INFJ thing.
Ah where do I begin...
Manipulative: Don't try to deny it. We love guilt-tripping others to get our way and we're bloody good at it.
Mean/Bitchy: This comes up when we're being passively angry. Leave it to an INFJ to rip the other person to shreds by attacking the softest spot (that our Ni can see from a mile apart).
Using people as objects: When we're too deprived of Fe, we compensate for it by being extra nice and helpful, especially to people who are not particularly close to us. However, as soon as we get our fill, we move on, leaving those we helped confused and hurt as they probably interpreted our niceness as an offer of friendship.
Self-absorbed: You know it. Everything we do, our martyrdom, our heroism, our altruism (doesn't exist in INFJs, but that's another topic) is for ourselves. Not for anyone else.
Irrational: This is something that less mature INFJs do. When our Ni fails, we take an inaccurate Se judgment and run with it, hurting a million people in the process.
And then there's the self-destructive behavior...
Over-indulgence: INFJ's idea of a punishment.
Tunnel-vision/Over-analytical: When our Ni fails, we start wondering what went wrong and use our Ti to deconstruct the situation piece by piece and focus on a thousand tiny details that are irrelevant to the bigger picture. We keep doing this until someone comes in and kicks us in the shins (ideally, an ENFJ) and makes us see the important bits.
Batshit Insane: If you ever meet an INFJ with a stronger Ti than Fe... RUN. Run as fast as you can. And lock your doors and windows when you get home.
I can go on...
Manipulative: Don't try to deny it. We love guilt-tripping others to get our way and we're bloody good at it.
Mean/Bitchy: This comes up when we're being passively angry. Leave it to an INFJ to rip the other person to shreds by attacking the softest spot (that our Ni can see from a mile apart).
Using people as objects: When we're too deprived of Fe, we compensate for it by being extra nice and helpful, especially to people who are not particularly close to us. However, as soon as we get our fill, we move on, leaving those we helped confused and hurt as they probably interpreted our niceness as an offer of friendship.
Self-absorbed: You know it. Everything we do, our martyrdom, our heroism, our altruism (doesn't exist in INFJs, but that's another topic) is for ourselves. Not for anyone else.
Irrational: This is something that less mature INFJs do. When our Ni fails, we take an inaccurate Se judgment and run with it, hurting a million people in the process.
And then there's the self-destructive behavior...
Over-indulgence: INFJ's idea of a punishment.
Tunnel-vision/Over-analytical: When our Ni fails, we start wondering what went wrong and use our Ti to deconstruct the situation piece by piece and focus on a thousand tiny details that are irrelevant to the bigger picture. We keep doing this until someone comes in and kicks us in the shins (ideally, an ENFJ) and makes us see the important bits.
Batshit Insane: If you ever meet an INFJ with a stronger Ti than Fe... RUN. Run as fast as you can. And lock your doors and windows when you get home.
I can go on...
I have that exact same issue, especially at work. My field is saturated with sensors and it is incredibly difficult to explain anything to them, especially if they are too stubborn to intuit at all.
Agreed on all points (for an unhealthy/unhappy INFJ). I'm still trying to learn about the last point, however. There doesnt seem to be too much exposition on Ni-Ti loops 'round these parts.
I really would also like to hear about this...
I can only go from my own experiences...
-depressive, or having a tendency to be depressive
-shifting from one emotional extreme to the other (being deeply emotional and sensitive to not emotional at all)
-usually not caring about other people or interpersonal relationships at all
-being self-destructive because one always perceive he is failing in some way at meeting his expectations for himself. For all the times one is not true to himself. self-loathing
...but I am not sure about my type, so this may not generally apply to INFJs at all.
I found these very interesting, as they are not something I would typically use to describe INFJs (am I being stereotypical, you think?), but they are something I would use to describe myself (I am fairly sure I am INT), save for maybe "needy/moody at times," but, I suppose that depends on what you mean by moody.
I suppose all I really have to say... is if I am INFJ, then my Ti is most likely more developed than my Fe (wait a minute... I don't really use the MBTI system... great. all of these MBTI forums that I am on just confuse me even more...)
Anyway... carry on then, I suppose.