negative aspects of the INFJ | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

negative aspects of the INFJ

Yeah, I never ever pick up the phone...It would be right next to me, and I would just either sit there or pass it to someone else, even answering the door, the other day I could of easily got it in 5 seconds, but I just didn't answer it. ^_^ Anywhooz I'm of to college now it's 7:15am and I'm going to wreak some havok, Mohahahaha. That was a joke by the way. It's going to be a quiet day. :)
 
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KorJax said:
Sadly, true.

If it makes you feel better though, I almost always will return a call as long as you leave a message! And give me some time to return, assuming it's not something that will cause conflict (I.e. returning a call to a mother who asks "What have you been up to lately?" and whom you have bad relations with).
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Yeah, my confirmed INFJ friend says I should leave a message so that she'll remember to get back to me, but I'm not really comfortable doing so unless I have something very specific to convey. Normally I just want to talk or have a lot of little low priority things I'd like to discuss, so I just hang up.


Today is the first day in about a month that she actually picked up. We had a nice conversation for about 40 minutes, although punctuated by her accidentally hanging up twice and putting the phone on mute for a little while. We discussed:

  • school work, some of hers but mostly the projects I have to complete in the next few weeks in order to graduate next month
  • the trivia night I decided to go to a couple hours after the call
  • her professional fraternity's recent events
  • why her frat calls all members Brothers despite most of them being female
  • things going on with my family's church
  • the fact that sharks do in deed get cancer and their cartilage has not been shown to treat the disease despite containing a chemical that inhibits angiogenesis and makes them less prone to tumors than other fish, and how adamant one of her professors was about stressing this point
  • how her mother has been seriously guilt tripping her about her decision to leave early from their family Christmas vacation in Florida in order to visit her boyfriend's parents, whom she hasn't seen in almost 4 years, in England the week after Christmas (and how one means she used to do this was commenting on her daughter's facebook status about shark cancer with the claim that cancer is caused by the sadness of having your children abandon you during the family vacations)
  • whether there is any point to voting
  • how annoying people are who try to pressure others into voting for the sake of voting
  • how I voted in the last election (mostly 3rd parties and write-ins)
  • the problems with our state's voting machines, such as the fact that they erase close to 1% of the votes, and the fact that only the libertarian candidate for secretary of state thought that that was a big deal
  • a little about how much better range voting is than the first past the post system.



I still haven't heard anything in a while from my strongly suspected INFJ friend who moved back to Chicago on the first of last month. I haven't tried emailing her since a couple weeks before that though. She responded to my first email at the beginning of September when I tried asking her out (with a compliment at how maturely I had expressed myself, a gentle but clear rejection, and the information that she was not staying in town much longer), but not my gracious acceptance and request to keep in touch and remain friends. The one time I saw her after that things seemed quite normal and casually friendly, but I again got no response when I sent one more email wishing her well and asking to be kept informed and told when she was leaving so I could say goodbye. She never told me when or where she was going; I learned that only from someone's comment on a facebook photo album. After I said in the MyType application that I thought that the INFJ description fit her and it got posted to her wall her wall became hidden to me, leaving my knowledge of her life in the past 5 weeks limited to her occasional tweets and one short blog entry about the stress and frustration of studying for the LSAT. I've been wondering a lot lately whether I should try emailing her again or just assume she doesn't want to keep in contact. Edit: Damn. She just protected her tweets, so I can't get updates that way anymore. There was a blog entry last night but it was just sharing a music video, no info on her recent life.
 
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I reply all my messages and pick up calls promptly!!! sms wise I will always reply, emails too. calls wise...hehe... I tend to pick up, and if I dont feel like talking, just pass the phone to anyone around me who also knows the person calling hehe
 
Probably don't stand up for ourselves enough because we don't want to hurt others feelings. To easy for our empathy to get in the way.

Keeping others at arms length for too long and coming across as aloof.

While I hate answering the phone, I do respond to messages promptly.
I often purposely wait a period of time before responding to an email though because I have a tendency to pounce on them and reply right away.
I had a customer comment once in a joking manner at how quickly I respond to thier emails and it made me self conscious of it.
 
I can be a total bitch.



Add:

I really hate that about myself.
 
Free Mind said:
Yeah, I never ever pick up the phone...It would be right next to me, and I would just either sit there or pass it to someone else, even answering the door, the other day I could of easily got it in 5 seconds, but I just didn't answer it. ^_^ Anywhooz I'm of to college now it's 7:15am and I'm going to wreak some havok, Mohahahaha. That was a joke by the way. It's going to be a quiet day. :)
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I sometimes go to extreme lengths to
avoid speaking on the phone.
 
Bird said:
I sometimes go to extreme lengths to
avoid speaking on the phone.
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I always go to extreme lenghts to avoiding the phone, and door. I have never had a mobile phone all my life, so you can begin to imagine how introverted I am, I have a lack of finding good friends in (The Real World) but I love it. I could easily do it and try to make friends if I wanted, I have no problem with that, it's just I don't really care to be honest.
 
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Passive-agressive complex, at least for me
 
So many of these are painfully familiar...and I can't even tell you why I don't respond to emails sometimes. :rolleyes:

How about being deceptive to make people feel better or to avoid awkwardness? Not lying. Just...oh, like, if someone's really enjoying telling me a story I've already heard, I'll pretend that I've never heard it because I don't have the heart to interrupt the,. Or...I'm hyperaware of where people are around me, so I'll pretend not to notice them (if they don't see me) because it's awkward to always be the one who says hi. Anyone relate? Or, if I've run into someone I don't know well several times already, I'll deliberately change my path just so that we don't have another, "Hi." "...Hi." moment. :( It's awful.
 
NuthatchXi said:
So many of these are painfully familiar...and I can't even tell you why I don't respond to emails sometimes. :rolleyes:

How about being deceptive to make people feel better or to avoid awkwardness? Not lying. Just...oh, like, if someone's really enjoying telling me a story I've already heard, I'll pretend that I've never heard it because I don't have the heart to interrupt the,. Or...I'm hyperaware of where people are around me, so I'll pretend not to notice them (if they don't see me) because it's awkward to always be the one who says hi. Anyone relate? Or, if I've run into someone I don't know well several times already, I'll deliberately change my path just so that we don't have another, "Hi." "...Hi." moment. :( It's awful.
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I get this sometimes, not all the time, it depends on the mood I am in on the moment of seeing the person, it normally ends up with me pretending i'm blind and cannot see them, whilst still trying to be nice but give of a signal I just don't really want to talk to them. Also with the stories, I think I tend to show the expression of, (I don't care, but I do) lol, I just wish they talked about something else as I just want to get on with it. Do you people also really hate small talk and boring conversations? I really cannot stand the whole what I did today topic, unless it's interesting. Another common 1 is how bad the traffic was, or how it's depressing it is when it rains, I LOVE RAIN! I just always have the same response every time that they agree with, and then say it over and over again. T_T Yeah...I'm in a bit of a Badish mood, had a really boring day at college. :p Oh well, I'm home now. ^_^
 
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RAWR, I WANT TO CHEW ON YOUR ARM.

i really need to work on that.
 
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We are not always wright, but we are never wrong:)
 
Jana said:
We are not always wright, but we are never wrong:)
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That really does make perfect sense, I am not joking aswell. I really like that quote. :)
 
Jana said:
We are not always wright, but we are never wrong:)
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I married miss Wright, but didn't know her middle name was Always.
:fish:
 
MindYourHead said:
I married miss Wright, but didn't know her middle name was Always.
:fish:
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LOLOLOLOL.


I have most of those tendacies, but after a realization, I cannot be a J. Not open ended enough....
 
Free Mind said:
That really does make perfect sense, I am not joking aswell. I really like that quote. :)
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It's not mine, it is from WGW:) Tshirt, but I liked it from the first time I saw it. It is just howI sometimes feel, people have tendency to see me as outgoing person, but I really can be stuborn and convienced that I know best:)
 
I have a lot of trouble keeping up relationships with people I don't see daily (long-distance, email response, etc.)
It's extremely hard for me to have meaningful relationships with other people (mostly because I can't get the ball rolling, I'm so introverted)
Because I can never take that first step, I've never been in a romantic relationship because there isn't anyone I have a desire to do so with.
I can get down on myself about little things and dwell on it to the point of tears, so I try to focus on positives.
 
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