Merkabah
- Thread starter Skarekrow
- Start date
Are you calling me some kind of Mantoid?Hah! I told ya we were family.
Hahahaha.... Pretty much ALL of humanity has some of the Mantis DNA in them. Whether it gets activated this lifetime is another thing.
So I don't know...
Thoughts while in meditation.
I don't understand how we can hold ourselves to any "moral" view, when we have an incomplete picture of the afterlife.
It seems as if any rules basically go out the window save for - love.
If something is done in love....or with a positive intent...which is not always very easy.....this is what will ultimately count in the end...not your job, not your movie collection.
Not even your body....none of that will likely not matter in the slightest bit....not only that but a step further...we have no idea who we really are.
When the veil is pulled back the knowing you will then receive and understand will expose your true core self, which is part of the whole, but given an individual perspective.
We cannot judge ourselves based on incomplete knowledge....yet we judge ourselves in such a shallow fashion most of the time...incredibly superficial.
When we gain this knowing, it is then when we will understand if we spent our lives in a worthwhile manner....did we promote good and positive things, promote love amongst our fellow mankind....or did we seek to divide and spread discontent?
This is still uncertain...because we still have no way of knowing what is considered good or bad when the back drop changes into eternity, or at the very least another way of existing.
Still...imho you will always be on the right path if you are true to yourself, you live your life authentically, but also promote love and friendship, positivity vs negativity.
Compassion will always need suffering to exist...as painful as that can be...I feel that is a big part of why we are here at all.
You can take the suffering that life brings you and look upon it as an assault on your being, or you can look at it as a nutcracker about to crack through another layer in order to get to the kernel...this being yourself with a balanced understanding...a yin and yang of understanding the pain and suffering.
You can't understand compassion without knowing the opposite.
Sometimes that process can seem relentless and you feel as if you are going to smash into a million pieces...but it is the only way...it will happen with or without your consent, so may as well align yourself the best way you can with what you feel in your heart and your gut to be right and just.
Listen to the still, small voice inside, it knows more than we think it does.
I don't understand how we can hold ourselves to any "moral" view, when we have an incomplete picture of the afterlife.
It seems as if any rules basically go out the window save for - love.
If something is done in love....or with a positive intent...which is not always very easy.....this is what will ultimately count in the end...not your job, not your movie collection.
Not even your body....none of that will likely not matter in the slightest bit....not only that but a step further...we have no idea who we really are.
When the veil is pulled back the knowing you will then receive and understand will expose your true core self, which is part of the whole, but given an individual perspective.
We cannot judge ourselves based on incomplete knowledge....yet we judge ourselves in such a shallow fashion most of the time...incredibly superficial.
When we gain this knowing, it is then when we will understand if we spent our lives in a worthwhile manner....did we promote good and positive things, promote love amongst our fellow mankind....or did we seek to divide and spread discontent?
This is still uncertain...because we still have no way of knowing what is considered good or bad when the back drop changes into eternity, or at the very least another way of existing.
Still...imho you will always be on the right path if you are true to yourself, you live your life authentically, but also promote love and friendship, positivity vs negativity.
Compassion will always need suffering to exist...as painful as that can be...I feel that is a big part of why we are here at all.
You can take the suffering that life brings you and look upon it as an assault on your being, or you can look at it as a nutcracker about to crack through another layer in order to get to the kernel...this being yourself with a balanced understanding...a yin and yang of understanding the pain and suffering.
You can't understand compassion without knowing the opposite.
Sometimes that process can seem relentless and you feel as if you are going to smash into a million pieces...but it is the only way...it will happen with or without your consent, so may as well align yourself the best way you can with what you feel in your heart and your gut to be right and just.
Listen to the still, small voice inside, it knows more than we think it does.
Last edited:
I have my flare up days...for which I'm still trying to figure out what triggers it.
Which isn't easy....it could from something I ate or drank....or did not eat that I normally do...or stress in my life even.
So when it flares up...it of course will if I do too much physically....like go mow the yard and sweep and crap....I WILL feel it the next day...which sometimes you gotta just suck up and do.
But too much inactivity will also makes it stiff and sore.
It's like walking on a tightrope constantly...but, practice makes perfect right?
I am better at dealing with my pain now...mostly because the depression and chronic pain triggered anxiety are now much more under control...via meditation, some medication, a bit of weed when the gut is giving me issues....or the anxiety.
But really I have willed it away for the most part....the joint damage is unlikely to reverse...you don't just grow new cartilage, and you certainly don't regrow the bursa and synovial fluid around it.
So it grinds....it would still pop up until recently....so I guess that means something is fusing...still, I have so so mobility...I can't really touch my toes while standing...but my hamstrings are way too tight anyhow, so maybe I could.
However once I reach about 30 degrees...it begins to become painful....then increasingly painful....then body shaking amounts of pain if I go further, up to tears....that's my pain scale....lol.
Still, I will stretch to those positions, as much as it is uncomfortable, to try and maintain a good degree of flexibility.
Though I hear the pain goes away one the vertebra are fused...still, then you have to worry about breaking your back from tripping on the cat - that's what eventually got my Grandfather who passed these lovely genes to.
He was driving when a deer jumped out and he crashed into it, rolled down the embankment and was upside down on some train tracks.
Luckily no train was cruising by....but because his whole spine was fused, including his neck, it shattered his spine in so many places....he was almost a quadrapelegic...though he could partially use his right arm.
Just like so many in that position, he got pneumonia and died from the secondary infection from him not being able to move or cough well.
So....trying to maintain some movement....even if it means it hurts every time.
It just is what it is...I have been constantly reminding myself and meditation on just how good my life is compared to some around the world.
One doesn't have to have a very active imagination to realize we all take so much for granted...it's so easy though to get caught up in your own day to day activities...,family, job, life...or stuck up in your head where we are our own worst critic, and our ego is constantly trying to run the show.
We have children who are being abused right now....who are starving right now...who are in danger of being bombed right now....I say children because it makes the biggest impact on people...but you can include every age range, nationality, sex, etc. in there too.
So I focus my energies on them...I do try to maintain my chakras and ground on a regular basis....and I do pray for/send good energies to those I know irl and on here as well.
The majority goes out to a bunch of unknown people though.
Maybe if I focused all my attention on myself it would lessen the pain....and I can make it dissipate until it is gone while meditating...though it returns it's usually settled down for a few hours...but I just find doing that...healing myself so difficult for me sometimes...especially when I AM thinking of those less fortunate...how am I then supposed to focus on myself while not feeling guilty?
I know the answer is soemthing like - if you felt better then maybe you could be more effective for everyone else.
There is still something there to work through though.
How about you Sandie?
How are your trials of life going?
Lol
As always, let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you in whatever capacity I can.
Much love,
M
Happy Birthday to my Dad!
It's been 10 years now since he passed on.
I miss him like crazy sometimes.
I catch myself saying something he would...or some mannerism of his.
He wasn't perfect, but damn was he tenacious and full of integrity.
He always had quick wit, and a dry sense of humor.
Though dancing around in a funny way wasn't past him.
He always made sure his family...wife and five children were well taken care of.
He survived being drafted to Vietnam, but suffered PTSD the rest of his life...never turning to drinking or anger though because of it.
Damn cancer...had already metastasized before you knew it was there and had a chance to fight it.
His own Father dying just the previous summer.
Still, he never got angry...never said "Woe is me!".
You fought what you could but I saw the resignation in your eyes after an emergency trip to the ER.
That look was heartbreaking, and I will always remember it.
But you very quickly accepted your fate, you even seemed ready to go, in a good way, like you found your peace before you went...you were able to find peace of mind and tell us all how proud and how much you loved us.
I couldn't have asked for a better Dad....I miss your cooking haha!
And you always kept some dark beers for me in the fridge even though you didn't like them yourself.
Many things in life were black and white with you....but you were always on the right side.
Love you, miss you, see you one day.
Last edited:
There will always be something to work through. Good to hear you are staying ahead of the pain. You & your family are in my thoughts and prayers often.
Ooph, I rested up, that is until the step-sis came and the house was decended on by other family wanting to see her. She lives 2 hours away. So I fired up the stove & grill and cooked for ten. (I don't prefer surprises, lol). The other sister is wearing her stent well, and Dad is holding his own. Life is starting to settle down to normal for a bit. Yes, normal around here would be crazy-Eddy crazy, lol.
I'm capitalizing on all the helpful hands around and getting past due yard work caught up...I'm always the opportunist these days, lol. You know that question, "Is the glass half empty or half full?" My answer usually is while y'all are deciding, I've drank whats in the glass and moved on to my next project,
Hugs & Be well...❤
I was just thinking and laughing to myself as there was just one of those "free weekend" deals on one of those dating sites or another on TV.
Whichever one is supposed to be the one where you have to answer a shitload of personality tests and it's supposedly scientifically accurate...lol.
This must have been like 15 years ago now....but I put in all the information, take the tests...my result?
"You have no matches within 1000 miles"
Hahahahaha!
That still totally makes me laugh...especially since I found another INFJ that totally clicked and worked out so far.
(knock on wood)
1000 miles....wow...is that just a nice way of saying - "You're fucked pal!" or what?
Lol
Shows what they know.
Whichever one is supposed to be the one where you have to answer a shitload of personality tests and it's supposedly scientifically accurate...lol.
This must have been like 15 years ago now....but I put in all the information, take the tests...my result?
"You have no matches within 1000 miles"
Hahahahaha!
That still totally makes me laugh...especially since I found another INFJ that totally clicked and worked out so far.
(knock on wood)
1000 miles....wow...is that just a nice way of saying - "You're fucked pal!" or what?
Lol
Shows what they know.
I was just thinking and laughing to myself as there was just one of those "free weekend" deals on one of those dating sites or another on TV.
Whichever one is supposed to be the one where you have to answer a shitload of personality tests and it's supposedly scientifically accurate...lol.
This must have been like 15 years ago now....but I put in all the information, take the tests...my result?
"You have no matches within 1000 miles"
Hahahahaha!
That still totally makes me laugh...especially since I found another INFJ that totally clicked and worked out so far.
(knock on wood)
1000 miles....wow...is that just a nice way of saying - "You're fucked pal!" or what?
Lol
Shows what they know.
I doubt I'd have matches within this universe.
They'd probably try to hook me up with a shoggoth or something.
I was like...”Really? Not one that I am compatible with?”
So then you start to wonder is there something seriously wrong with you, or am I just peculiar?
How were the tests scored and what made me so elusive?
Was it an INFJ thing maybe?
Supposedly males are .5% of the population...but women are 1.5% so there should have been at least one INFJ within 1000 miles....just maybe not on that site...this was in it’s infancy at the time...man I miss that old apartment...it was a duplex built in the 20’s with pocket doors, hardwood floors, a nook in the wall for the telephone and some really awesome built-in cabinetry, had a fold down ironing board, that kind of cool shit...there was easily over 1000 nail holes in the walls and the floor were in bad need of refinishing....I got permission to fix both and paint...this was soon after my divorce...it was very cathartic patching up nail holes and putting fresh paint on the walls...refinishing the floors had a learning curve, but it looked great in the end...when I moved out the manager was blown away...it was my cozy little home for me and my cats at the time being a bachelor.
Anyhow...I literally was laughing out loud when my results popped up...I figured it would be something like that...or there would be like two profiles with no pictures or something.
But not even that...lololol.
I was just thinking and laughing to myself as there was just one of those "free weekend" deals on one of those dating sites or another on TV.
Whichever one is supposed to be the one where you have to answer a shitload of personality tests and it's supposedly scientifically accurate...lol.
This must have been like 15 years ago now....but I put in all the information, take the tests...my result?
"You have no matches within 1000 miles"
Hahahahaha!
That still totally makes me laugh...especially since I found another INFJ that totally clicked and worked out so far.
(knock on wood)
1000 miles....wow...is that just a nice way of saying - "You're fucked pal!" or what?
Lol
Shows what they know.
Bahahahahahaha..... ahahahahaha..... We are just that weird....aren't we? LOL :sneakyhug:
I’m happy to be strange.
Otherwise...how fucking boring.
I would rather be alone and have my specific perspective, than be with someone just to not be alone.
lol
Yes, he was a good man...I think I said before how one Christmas he drove up into the mountains about two hours drive, to Greenhorn by Lake Isabella...anyhow...he spent I don’t know how many hours shoveling snow into the back of his pickup truck.
Drove back down before we all woke up and shoveled a huge mound of snow onto our front lawn.
We lived in Bakersfield....it gets snow flurries every 30 years or so.
Or another Christmas where he spent all night in the back yard with the camping lantern quietly putting together a swing set for us.
He (and my Mom) never changed his relationship with my Brother when my brother came out, like so many people I know who’s parents shunned them.
In fact, we left the Mormon religion because of that.
See...it didn’t jive that family is the most important value the church pushes, unless you are gay...if you don’t act on it then you won’t be excommunicated.
But just recently the church changed its stance to be even more anti-gay.
Saying that children of gay parents must shun them.
Parents of gay children must shun them.
They are one of the top contributors to the anti-LGBQT legislation pushed around the country.
Disgusting.
It’s not until you leave the religion that you really start to see the nasty things they do and have done.
Slavery, slaughtering of Native Americans for their land...and I mean the killing of women and children too.
The racist past of the church.
The polygamy BS that the hardcore fundamentalists still practice.
Brain washing.
Okay that was another topic altogether....lol.
My dad was cool...every time I see Sam Elliot in a movie or commercial, I think of my Dad...that’s kind of how he was...mustache waxed on the tips like a wild west cowboy. Though he didn’t wear cowboy attire.
He was a pipeliner...which is why we lived in Bakersfield in the first place.
He was an incredibly huge role model to me, on how to have integrity, to be hardworking, how to be a good Dad.
He never tried to push his own ideals on us...like some make their kids play sports...if we didn’t want to, he wasn’t going to make us.
He went through life with a confidence that is hard to emulate...at least from my own viewpoint.
Thanks for your kind words....much love Kgal!
Totally agree with you on this! I LOVE being alone. Heh.
Aww.... <3 <3 Your Dad sounds a lot like my Dad. He would do cool inventive things for us. Like the time he built a pope framework up in the air to stretch across our above ground swimming pool so he could hang an army parachute on it to keep the sun off of our tender skins while we swam. That summer we would live in that pool allllll day long.
What a fantastic memory. Of course eventually the Sun ate the parachute and by then people starting charging big bucks for them so we never got another one. But that summer was one of the best! I've been to Bakersfield...and then on up in to those mountains. What a twisty curvy lonnnnnng drive. Your Dad was AWESOME! to bring down the snow for ya'll.
I befriended a woman who moved from Stockton CA to a little town in East TX just to escape a Mormon cult of pedophilia. Her (then) husband was abusing her children.
To show you how brainwashed she is ....she's still a Mormon.
To show you brainwashed the Catholics are - most of my family is Catholic and even though priest after priest after Bishop after Pope(previous pope) has been obviously involved in pedophilia - either by direct implication or the fact they ignored it and just okayed moving the offenders to another location - they STILLllllllll got to church.
Makes me question as to whether humanity can wake up or not.... Seriously.
I'm at home this morning instead of going to work.
I rarely eat breakfast anymore ...but was feeling strange so decided to have some. Now I'm really dizzy.
It turns out I may have something called Postprandial Hypotension.
Sigh... that's an old person condition allegedly. Granted my choice to ascend has taken a heavy toll on the body....but sheesh.... I had planned to go in to work today even if there was nothing pressing for me to do. Not going now.... My feelings of being unworthy and supposed to earning money are rearing up in me. On a higher level I know that's bullshit...but there are still vestiges of the lower energies roiling around in me. [rolls eyes] Oh well...might as well kick back and enjoy my day since I'm staying here.
On another note - the saga about Mt. Adams is continuing. Did you see Jimmy Church radio's video about something new appearing up on the mountain that they could see with their naked eyes? Pretty trippy....and Oh So Fun!
...and I'm listening to the Fade To Black show from last night with Jimmy and James Gilliland - owner of ECETI - talk about all of their experiences that happen up there. What a great conversation so far. Jimmy Church is laughing at himself for being a Male and freely admitting he saw Fairies. Hahahahahahahahahaha....
I tell you the world is changing right before my eyes!
Oh...and last night as I sat and listened to Sandra Walter describe her gate keeping experiences on the Beyond the Ordinary show - two reptilian humanoids came to sit with me. Heh.... The first one made me smile and I felt great when I saw him next to me. The second one scared the bejeezus out of me until he told me who he was. wow.... Immediately my fear evaporated and we three sat together listening to Sandra like we were at a movie eating popcorn.
Seems to me Disclosure and Contact is already happening....to those willing to experience it.
I hope you get a chance to listen to the show.
James Gilliland of ECETI Ranch with updates on the opening that was found on top of Mt. Adams...and there is some breaking news...
EDIT: NOTE: James appears after the 30 minute mark.
https://jimmychurchradio.com/
I rarely eat breakfast anymore ...but was feeling strange so decided to have some. Now I'm really dizzy.
It turns out I may have something called Postprandial Hypotension.
Sigh... that's an old person condition allegedly. Granted my choice to ascend has taken a heavy toll on the body....but sheesh.... I had planned to go in to work today even if there was nothing pressing for me to do. Not going now.... My feelings of being unworthy and supposed to earning money are rearing up in me. On a higher level I know that's bullshit...but there are still vestiges of the lower energies roiling around in me. [rolls eyes] Oh well...might as well kick back and enjoy my day since I'm staying here.
On another note - the saga about Mt. Adams is continuing. Did you see Jimmy Church radio's video about something new appearing up on the mountain that they could see with their naked eyes?
Pretty trippy....and Oh So Fun!...and I'm listening to the Fade To Black show from last night with Jimmy and James Gilliland - owner of ECETI - talk about all of their experiences that happen up there. What a great conversation so far. Jimmy Church is laughing at himself for being a Male and freely admitting he saw Fairies. Hahahahahahahahahaha....
I tell you the world is changing right before my eyes!
Oh...and last night as I sat and listened to Sandra Walter describe her gate keeping experiences on the Beyond the Ordinary show - two reptilian humanoids came to sit with me. Heh.... The first one made me smile and I felt great when I saw him next to me. The second one scared the bejeezus out of me until he told me who he was. wow.... Immediately my fear evaporated and we three sat together listening to Sandra like we were at a movie eating popcorn.
Seems to me Disclosure and Contact is already happening....to those willing to experience it.
I hope you get a chance to listen to the show.
James Gilliland of ECETI Ranch with updates on the opening that was found on top of Mt. Adams...and there is some breaking news...
EDIT: NOTE: James appears after the 30 minute mark.
https://jimmychurchradio.com/
Last edited: