I'm a heterosexual INFJ. I won't claim it is easy, but it is also great and I wouldn't want to be anyone else. I'd love to compare and contrast with gay/straight men and women INFJs and look for patterns, as long as we all agree that we are speculating and examine all type casting honestly.
About the gay issue: it is definitely a strong issue in our society today and it has had a dramatic effect on my life. Many people confuse NF with femininity, and for some time I even had teachers trying to impose a gay identity on me. (Its amazing how foolish some adults in positions of authority can be.) In high school, my best friends were gay because it was easier to relate and I genuinely understood them better then the average straight male in high school. And in college I was a constant false positive on the gadar, and that took some getting used to. Many women, too, simply cannot be attracted to an NF male. You just get used to that rejection, and with strong Fe, eventually learn to recognize women who prefer overt T in men and just avoid getting started with them.
None-the-less, the overall result is a kind of sexual isolation for the INFJ male that can be hard to deal with and can create much confusion. My guess is that more overtly physically attractive INFJ males have less trouble with this through sheer selective pressure. But for an average looking INFJ male, this imposed isolation can be a significant burden on what is already an introverted personality. But that's a subject for another thread. Maybe we should start an "Ask a straight INFJ male" thread sometime. I think there are at least 5 guys here who could contribute to that one.
I think Crabby is correct about over correction for perceived self-femininity. But for me that was a brief period that lasted one summer when I was approximately 22 years old. It was an abject failure, I moved on and grew up a little. I'm glad that period was brief for me.
I speculate that there are differences in the pattern of how masculine and feminine INFJs display their Fe. At least, I don't think that my Fe is displayed the way my female friends and collegues use theirs. For me, Fe is applied very much in one-on-one situations, where I can feel more comfortable revealing it. Male Fe is not often accepted in a group context, or at least, that's why my introversion keeps telling me to believe.
I have no idea if there are differences in use of Ni. At the moment, I speculate that Ni is sexless, and take some great comfort in that. But maybe I am wrong. Maybe it is all projections of cultural expectations in a culture that differentiates Fe in its root latin languages and segregates Ni into the domain of primitive religions.
I'd also say that it can be a little confusing for women who did like me to accept my male attributes. For example, I do like my video games, and I do play war games, etc. My wife and other women sometimes have trouble understanding how I can be so connected in my feelings but still attracted "to the hunt." I'd also say that in gift-giving, my gifts are often more symbolic and less material, than someone like Vicky-Jo would suggest and INFJ should maintain. I still think Valentine's Day is a corporate coup of the soul, and I am an INFJ. Perhaps this in itself, a kind of focus on aggressive spirituality, is a form of male INFJ identity.
I'm interested to read the experiences of other male INFJs. I've never met another person that I "knew" in person that I knew was an INFJ, so I don't know what to expect.