Male INFJ vs. Female INFJ | INFJ Forum

Male INFJ vs. Female INFJ

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by Rakawi, Apr 10, 2010.

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  1. Rakawi

    Rakawi Community Member

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    How do we differ? I've only (knowingly) encountered one male INFJ and one female INFJ and there were some behavioral differences. Experiences? Discuss.

    (If this has been done before, my apologies. Please merge with previous thread.)



     
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  2. 88chaz88

    88chaz88 Back for a limited time only
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    All male INFJ's are homosexuals maybe?

    (Okay so I'm kidding, actually maybe half kidding, you can't deny it's a rather feminine type to have.)
     
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  3. the

    the Si master race.
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    lol I have noticed the same thing from my experience on this forum. However in so doing I realize that such a stereotype is probably inaccurate.
     
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  4. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Male INFJ= better?

    Haha, jk.

    I'm not gay at all, I would just like to say. I don't know what differences there are between male and female INFJs that are different from the differences between males and females in general, but expressing even those is fairly difficult.
     
  5. freeeekyyy

    freeeekyyy Newbie

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    If male INFJs are homosexuals, then female INTJs must be lesbians. That isn't the case, so I don't think there's any greater likelihood of male INFJs being gay.
     
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  6. IndigoSensor

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    Well, I am a male INFJ, and I am also gay, so I sort of can't use myself as an example here. There are handful of us gay/les INFJ's here, but not many.

    The main difference that I have seen between male and female is that males often feel that they are too soft and are not much of a guy. Not all, but this seems like a recurrent theme. Females seem more apt to discuss their feels more quickly, where as with males there is a need to preface any sort of discussion on that type of matter.
     
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  7. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Hmm I would agree but... I deviate from that (along with a load of other INFJ stereotypes) somewhat by believing that developing feminine traits makes me more of a man. The balance between the two is what creates a first rate person in my opinion. If I was any more masculine in my outside persona, I'd be carved out of wood.
     
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  8. OP
    Rakawi

    Rakawi Community Member

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    I never made those claims...(?)
     
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  9. Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

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    Male INFJs are usually superior at arm wrestling.
     
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  10. OP
    Rakawi

    Rakawi Community Member

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    :m024:
     
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  11. On my own path

    On my own path Community Member

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    I consider my "softness" to be an asset, actually. I do not care if " I much of a guy", only if I am a good person that is able to help others emotionally,intellectually, spiritually, et cetera; that can make contributions to society; and to make those that I love and care about feel loved and cared about and appreciated. I believe that " gender differences" can only affects someone's personality to the extent they allow it to; who we aspire to be and willing we are to pursuit such an aspiration has a much greater influence on who we are than gender. Some people,however, include gender roles in their aspirations and this i believe may be a major contributor to said people's behaviors and inclinations.

    While I do not view these truly an aspect of people's view on gender alone, I have no fondness of sport , I have some issues with the significant lack of consideration of the social implications of science that I see being exhibited by some members of the scientific community, i do not like cars, I believe " oversensitivity" for the most part to be a "lie", and I am really irked when people would hurt someone's feelings for a slight increase in efficiency and when people rather jump to the most belligerent solution without seriously considering diplomatic solutions. Also while it may be a negative aspect of myself sometimes I have trouble being objective at times, my values and the implications that I see something having on society or on people can indeed affect a great deal of my views.

    I do not regularly discuss my feelings with other people- save my family- but it is not because i view it as " weak". But instead because I sometimes have issues trusting people with said information; the other people do not want to talk about it;I do not want to bother other people;I view my philosophy and views on things to be at times a package in which my feelings are conveyed so I do communicate them but indirectly; I am sometimes uncomfortable talking about myself.

    I may have more to say on this issue but I would wait for others to add before I proceed
     
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    #11 On my own path, Apr 10, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2010
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  12. emerald_storm

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    I am a male INFJ, and I couldn't be more straight. I love everything about women; the beauty, grace, mysteries, and also the beasts in hiding. Some of the women I regularly interact with thinks that I'm gay since I don't show any sexual interest. The truth is ,I'm incredibly picky about women and cheap sexual behaviors often times turn me off, and i lose all interest in them. I stopped correcting people about my sexuality since they will never understand my side of the story.
     
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    Rakawi

    Rakawi Community Member

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    I'm very picky too and this gets perceived as snobbery or prudishness. Interesting difference in assumptions about private people.
     
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  14. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    i've noticed it too, there have been a few infj males here who I've mistaken for female. maybe certain infj traits are stereotypically female?
     
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  15. Raccoon Love

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    Well I am gay, and believe I am a male INFJ but I do not believe type has much correlation with sexual orientation or many at all. I believe males INFJ's are constantly fighting with the fact that many of their traits are not considered masculine like many, not like there's anything that will correctly define masculinity in my eyes, it is all subjective. Females on the other hand will be more likely to not be so oppress to express their inner thoughts while males will more likely try to not display their traits, not like both types already have a hard time being themselves due to the views of society.
     
  16. GaiaGraha

    GaiaGraha Community Member

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    "Feeler" traits are stereotypically female, most definitely. And Intuitive traits can be seen as stereotypically 'female' as well, as they are 'impractical'. Of course, the mere face that there are equally as many male intuitives as there are female intuitives disproves that it is a female trait. And the fact that 1/3 of men are Feelers and 1/3 of women are Thinkers disproves that Feeling is a feminine trait. (that is an example of 3rd variable effect)
    In our society men are socialized to fit the male prototype. Men can feel intense pressure when they do not live up to masculine standards. Some gay men struggle with this, although I think less so than before. I have noticed some NF guys have struggled with this. Although, not all men are equally socialized. Some have more conservative upbringing, some rebel against their upbringing, etc..... One thing I *have* noticed is that if a guy is not fulfilling the 'masculine identity' in some way, he will be more likely to strive to be 'masculine' in his personality. Like if he tends to look more young and feminine (not macho), or if he has a voice or demeanor that is not excessively macho (and if this bothers him,), he may try to make up for it by saying sexist things, or being excessively interested in guns and violence. I think that is much more common in straight men though. I've noticed that most homosexual people feel less need to fit into a heterosexist ideal.
    So, I think that in our society it is easier for those who are born with personality traits that fit their gender stereotype. Although, we also experience the irritation that people assume that our traits are due to being our gender, and therefore we are "upholding" the stereotype. Argh.
     
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  17. Gaze

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    Well, for one thing, both male and female INFJs have a level of emotional sensitivity (not oversensitivity) that is unheard of in most places, irl or online.
     
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  18. Ecton

    Ecton Community Member

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    I'm a heterosexual INFJ. I won't claim it is easy, but it is also great and I wouldn't want to be anyone else. I'd love to compare and contrast with gay/straight men and women INFJs and look for patterns, as long as we all agree that we are speculating and examine all type casting honestly.

    About the gay issue: it is definitely a strong issue in our society today and it has had a dramatic effect on my life. Many people confuse NF with femininity, and for some time I even had teachers trying to impose a gay identity on me. (Its amazing how foolish some adults in positions of authority can be.) In high school, my best friends were gay because it was easier to relate and I genuinely understood them better then the average straight male in high school. And in college I was a constant false positive on the gadar, and that took some getting used to. Many women, too, simply cannot be attracted to an NF male. You just get used to that rejection, and with strong Fe, eventually learn to recognize women who prefer overt T in men and just avoid getting started with them.

    None-the-less, the overall result is a kind of sexual isolation for the INFJ male that can be hard to deal with and can create much confusion. My guess is that more overtly physically attractive INFJ males have less trouble with this through sheer selective pressure. But for an average looking INFJ male, this imposed isolation can be a significant burden on what is already an introverted personality. But that's a subject for another thread. Maybe we should start an "Ask a straight INFJ male" thread sometime. I think there are at least 5 guys here who could contribute to that one.

    I think Crabby is correct about over correction for perceived self-femininity. But for me that was a brief period that lasted one summer when I was approximately 22 years old. It was an abject failure, I moved on and grew up a little. I'm glad that period was brief for me.

    I speculate that there are differences in the pattern of how masculine and feminine INFJs display their Fe. At least, I don't think that my Fe is displayed the way my female friends and collegues use theirs. For me, Fe is applied very much in one-on-one situations, where I can feel more comfortable revealing it. Male Fe is not often accepted in a group context, or at least, that's why my introversion keeps telling me to believe.

    I have no idea if there are differences in use of Ni. At the moment, I speculate that Ni is sexless, and take some great comfort in that. But maybe I am wrong. Maybe it is all projections of cultural expectations in a culture that differentiates Fe in its root latin languages and segregates Ni into the domain of primitive religions.

    I'd also say that it can be a little confusing for women who did like me to accept my male attributes. For example, I do like my video games, and I do play war games, etc. My wife and other women sometimes have trouble understanding how I can be so connected in my feelings but still attracted "to the hunt." I'd also say that in gift-giving, my gifts are often more symbolic and less material, than someone like Vicky-Jo would suggest and INFJ should maintain. I still think Valentine's Day is a corporate coup of the soul, and I am an INFJ. Perhaps this in itself, a kind of focus on aggressive spirituality, is a form of male INFJ identity.

    I'm interested to read the experiences of other male INFJs. I've never met another person that I "knew" in person that I knew was an INFJ, so I don't know what to expect.
     
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    #18 Ecton, Apr 11, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2010
  19. Matariki

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    Then us, female ENTP's are screwed. :m142:
     
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  20. Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

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    *Grumble* so maybe that's why all the attractive females I know are merely content to regale me with stories about OTHER guys that they are dating. :m080:
     
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