Love | INFJ Forum


Sad Eyes

Jan 13, 2009
I don't know if this is in the appropriate forum, but.... I am an INFJ myself. I have very strong feelings for a girl who is an ENFP (Extrovert Intuitive Feeling Perceiving). Very talkative, kind, sensitive, and very different from myself in certain aspects. Anybody have similar experience, or some sort of feedback for me?
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Sad Eyes,

Sorry, I don't have any experiences to share with you. But I know that my close friend, an intj is similar to you in that he's attracted to more outgoing, social people---people who have things he doesn't have. It's natural. For me however, I prefer people who are like myself. I think it's either way---whether you are attracted to a similar person or someone completely opposite of you. Good luck to you!!!
I am friends with ALOT of ENFP's, and I love them all to death. But, let me tell you, they can be a handful.

They let there emotions get the better of the quite often, you can't tell them what to do, they are always late, and they have NO planning abillitys what so ever.

If you can handle there high-low emotion extremes though, they are worth it.
haha As much as I would like to argue against this, I can't xD
  1. The low's are big LOW's far down in a black hole of anguish and sadness.
  2. Then there is a milder low than the first, commonly know to people as 'content', which include anxieties in the form of fear and worry.
  3. Finally there is total bliss, happiness and satisfaction
I think this arises because of the P, which can cause the black and white thinking especially as the F butt in on e.g. decision making. This can cause ambivalence which I am familiar with - To be torn between two opposing courses of action. I must say I have an ability to plan, I make to do lists and study schedules although often, I loose them or compromise.
The experiences I've had with all the ones I've been interested in have always ended up with me getting very hurt (in some instances, as a compounded result of being used, among other things), so I'm afraid I can't really help you there. I find myself kinda keeping my distance from them in real life these days...not that I try to, of course, as I am definitely naturally drawn to them for some reason (though I doubt me having a relationship with one would ever work out), which makes it just happens that way.
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They are a perfect match according to my near baseless theory.
They are a perfect match according to my near baseless theory.

Yea I've read this as well. INFJ and ENTP or ENFP is "ideal" and usually grounds for natural attraction. Someone who shares your information gathering process, but in a different way. For example, Ni for INFJ and Ne for ENT/FP. Also the I and E attract as well as the J and P to bring balance to each other. Not sure this is true, but I think that the subconcious naturally looks for someone who balances you out. This is likely what "opposites attract" means, yet you share the N in this case. If you look, you can find atleast portions of this formula in many relationships because it keeps things interesting. If you are with someone who is just like you you get bored eventually. Of course there are other variables that may outweigh most of what I just stated, but this holds true for me atleast.
The feelings are often mutual!

I'm an ENFP, and I have to say, the feelings are often mutual! I happen to really like an INFJ, although I know as an ENFP, we're not always clear in our messages to INFJs. Just because we're chatty and talk to anyone, doesn't mean we don't think INFJs are amazing. I believe INFJs complement ENFPs very well, although, like someone commented earlier on, we can be a handful!
Oi! NFs! Stop hogging each other! :rant:

Rules say you should be searching for a NT to try to open up! I don't make this stuff up you know.
I dated an enFP once, and we're still friends. She can be polite and quiet one minute, and super emotional the next. Be prepared for unpredictable emotions, both good and bad.