Love: The beautiful kind | INFJ Forum

Love: The beautiful kind

Altruistic Muse

Altruistic Muse

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Apr 6, 2009
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Have you ever been in love, where it doesn't make you selfish, or bitter, or obsessive or sad? It's not about lust or possession, it is pure and warm, and makes you a better person? And people notice it and say that you are much happier and kinder, and you feel such joy? Where most of all, it doesn't even matter if it is unrequited, you just bask in the feelings that it gives you, and the improvement you are able to experience? There is nothing better than this I am sure.
 
yes, yes I have
 
It's beautiful thing you speak of, but this is almost never reached. A person would have to be totally at peace within themselves to not care if it's returned. And pretty much all of us have some flaw, such as obsession, attached to our loves. If it's great we want more of it, as much as we can get, and we don't really want to share it. That's human nature and it's hard to fight. I hope we all strive to be the type of person that could experience the love you speak of, but that's a long hard journey that most of us will not complete.
 
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She is speaking of unrequited love Barnabas, which I think has to involve another person. Love of God wouldn't be of much use if it were unrequited would it? I think you are speaking of a higher love, or am I assuming wrong on your part?
 
Questingpoet said:
She is speaking of unrequited love Barnabas, which I think has to involve another person. Love of God wouldn't be of much use if it were unrequited would it? I think you are speaking of a higher love, or am I assuming wrong on your part?
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It's funny you should say this QP. But this love involves the higher love. In fact, if I didn't see it like that, it would just be like the others, and I would be craving love back. And of course I do, so it is less than perfect. But by mixing it with a love of God (we both discuss grace til the cows come home) it makes it something higher, something less tangible yet more attainable, and I feel as content as is humanly possible in this state.
 
Ah..... I missed that part. hmm...... That sounds strange for love to be overjoyous yet not returned. I've been on the other end where love is desired and it only leads pain if not returned, with that being said I guess no then.
 
That's also what they say about marriage, by the way. Marriage used to be a religious ceremony which was a relationship between God and a couple. Which is how marriages could work long term. It is said that now, when God is left out of it largely, living with someone else for the rest of yourself becomes the daunting prospect you would expect, and often falls apart. Mixing love of God and love of humanity together gives a lot more strength and takes away the negative.
 
Ok, so now your statement is a bit confusing to me AM. You consider love of God unrequited? This is a confusing statement to me. Isn't that a paramount of organized religion. Isn't it how they recruit? Could you explain in more detail? I guess its the "unrequtied" part that's really throwing me off here, I understand the rest.
 
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Hehe no. My unrequited love is of a guy. But for me, the fact that we discuss God (who I assume loves us all lol!) brings our bond closer together, because I feel like He is watching us and making us learn from eachother, so the love is deeper than lust, and the outcome is less important because I know he has it under control. Also, I am not entirely sure the love is unrequited, we have great conversations, he looks at me a lot and makes a real effort with me, has commented on me being pretty before etc. The fact is though, he is likely to move away before anything came of it so it is more blighted than unrequited :p
 
My girlfriend and I have loved each other like that for...well, ever since we became a couple almost a year ago, though I loved her like even before that point. I honestly didn't even care if she loved me back, it just felt like loving her that way was the most natural thing in the world for me. I didn't even really choose to...I just did it. Eventually she ended up loving me in the same way, and we're 100% on the same page with that. Needless to say, it's pretty awesome. :smile:
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Altruistic Muse said:
Have you ever been in love, where it doesn't make you selfish, or bitter, or obsessive or sad? It's not about lust or possession, it is pure and warm, and makes you a better person? And people notice it and say that you are much happier and kinder, and you feel such joy? Where most of all, it doesn't even matter if it is unrequited, you just bask in the feelings that it gives you, and the improvement you are able to experience? There is nothing better than this I am sure.
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?? Well, of course... hasn't everyone?:m075:
 
Altruistic Muse said:
Have you ever been in love, where it doesn't make you selfish, or bitter, or obsessive or sad? It's not about lust or possession, it is pure and warm, and makes you a better person? And people notice it and say that you are much happier and kinder, and you feel such joy? Where most of all, it doesn't even matter if it is unrequited, you just bask in the feelings that it gives you, and the improvement you are able to experience? There is nothing better than this I am sure.
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It would be great to say yes, but sadly not as yet. Maybe one day, and even if I don't have the chance, it's still a wonderful idea and I'm sure others have and will experience it. I assume it's one of the most fulfilling and beautiful things.
 
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To start, I think there are many many different forms of love. I've felt amazing love and connection with my family and friends, I've never felt love from a higher being but rather complete acceptance from nature, and I'm constantly searching for that idealized romantic love (which is what I'm going to talk about)

For me, one doesn't feel romantic love. Sure, I've "fallen" in love with a number of women, but I can't honestly say that I've ever loved them in the romantic, undying, forever sense. I think that type of love takes a long time to build, and I believe that it is a choice. I know that I could love countless people on this Earth, and I expect that from my partner, but what makes love so special to me, is that we would consciously choose to be with each other. We see all the other "fish", but decide that what we have is what we want.

When talking about love as if it's some feeling that we simply can't escape, it doesn't sound that great to me. Sure, it might feel amazing, but I'd also feel trapped. When I have the freedom to choose who I love, and decide to devote all of that to one person, well that's something really special. That is real romantic love.
 
mf said:
I know that I could love countless people on this Earth, and I expect that from my partner, but what makes love so special to me, is that we would consciously choose to be with each other. We see all the other "fish", but decide that what we have is what we want.
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Well said.
 
Love directed at the heavens seems like a waste to me.
 
I believe I can definitely get there someday...it's just, it would take someone absolutely remarkable for that to happen. The funny thing though, is that it would take time to find such a person. But when I do, the action will be immediate. lol.

I tend to fall for people I admire---not so much into the physical attractiveness thing (although that is a bonus). The older I get, the more I realize how my romantic loves almost always seem to be somewhat platonic. It's a shocker when your "platonic love" reels you in in a not so platonic way. lol. This makes me realize how innocent I am ~ laa

But def. I have a tendency toward this kind of love that isn't lusty...though, it still hurts.
 
mf said:
To start, I think there are many many different forms of love. I've felt amazing love and connection with my family and friends, I've never felt love from a higher being but rather complete acceptance from nature, and I'm constantly searching for that idealized romantic love (which is what I'm going to talk about)

For me, one doesn't feel romantic love. Sure, I've "fallen" in love with a number of women, but I can't honestly say that I've ever loved them in the romantic, undying, forever sense. I think that type of love takes a long time to build, and I believe that it is a choice. I know that I could love countless people on this Earth, and I expect that from my partner, but what makes love so special to me, is that we would consciously choose to be with each other. We see all the other "fish", but decide that what we have is what we want.

When talking about love as if it's some feeling that we simply can't escape, it doesn't sound that great to me. Sure, it might feel amazing, but I'd also feel trapped. When I have the freedom to choose who I love, and decide to devote all of that to one person, well that's something really special. That is real romantic love.
Click to expand...

Right, romantic love is very trapping. Currently, I'm having a hard time coming to terms with how much I should allow myself to "like" my bf (however funny this may sound). I know that when I love, I will love with a love that IS limitless, a love that does not expect anything back in return. So before I commit to that, I must know that I am choosing the right person...someone who deserves what I can give.
 
Here i am in love with people. It helped to move away from my ego and it let me see the big picture, which was necessary for my progress.

:)
 
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No I have never been romantically in love with a person but I have been in love :)

I have been in love with everything around me. The sky, the trees, the plants, the people around me.

I think love is just a part of an energy we're sensing. So there's this one time when I just appreciated everything around me and it turned into seeing beautiful things around me until it became love :)
 
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