Looking into peoples eyes | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Looking into peoples eyes

Hahah yep I like to look into the eyes when they are talking and when I am talking I tend to look around as I try to make sure I get my point across clearly. It might intimidate some people but I have never acctually had anybody say so. I know that some girls I talk to like it because when they are talking I look at them which means chances are I am not thinking about something else.
 
eye contact is intense

angels and demons live in there

gotta be careful

sustained eye contact is so interesting

if we could do some experiments i bet we could learn a lot about ourselves

i wonder how much info we could glean from that eye contact

i really think about this a lot
 
I don't look into anyone's eyes for very long. When I look into someone's eyes for more than a couple seconds I feel this weird "gluey" sensation and a super deep connection. It's uncomfortable and a tad unnerving, almost. It's only if they are looking at my eyes also. I know it's probably natural, this feeling of mine, but I don't like it more than usual. It feels too personal or intimate or something. (It may be useful/relevant to know I'm not a hugger with friends for the same reason, and I hate being touched.)

When I'm trying to get to know someone, I'll glance at them on and off, but I avoid eye to eye contact. I dunno, I haven't really tried to get to know anyone recently...
 
I try to keep constant eye contact when I am interacting with someone new and attempting to get to know them. For one, it just lets them know I am listening and attentive, but also it gives me insight on their current state of mind and emotion. It also shows how I should respond to the person, in a certain communicative situations. Eye motions can be a signal if someone is uncomfortable or if they are enjoying the company.
 
WindowEyez
 
I love eye contact and have, over time, gotten more into the habit of keeping my gaze right on the person and inviting them to return it. It never really happens, and when it does, I don't even know what to do with it! But I continue to get over my hypersensitivity to how others feel about being looked at. It makes me sad that we all avert our eyes from each other, supporting the barrier of strangers rather than naturally wanting to overcome it, by extremely basic measures such as even looking at one another. If we understood each other more, the world would be a much better place.. and if we aren't even looking at each other (ourselves)... :(

With people I actually already know, and scaling with how well I know them; I am pretty adamant about regular if not constant eye contact. It's important to be focused on and to be focusing on them, and this shows that with body language in a manner that you just can't supplement elsewise. Besides, it's thrilling. I don't know about you guys but I can feel the contact, often, and I think that you have the ability to pull others into that with you. I like connection!
 
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I always look in the eyes, I have nothing to hide or be afraid of, so I stand my space and stare into those portals deeply and see what I can get from them. Some people get unnerved I noticed occasionally because my gaze apparently can be intense and most people are probably not use to having 100% of someones full attention, and when I choose to engage and listen I give them that 100% and I am analyzing everything in the encounter.
 
I recently had an eye contact experience that I will not soon forget. An attractive man (suspect ISTJ) with whom I have a professional relationship was having a one-on-one conversation with me on a business-related topic. He sat quite close to me and gazed at me intensely to the point that I grew quite uncomfortable and began to look for an escape. However, I also find him very attractive so I ultimately decided to surrender and enjoy the experience. (I can not imagine the extent of the pupil dilation that must have manifested!).

He held me paralyzed like this for several minutes (4-5?) and I contributed nothing to the conversation beyond smiles and nods. When the spell was at last broken, I was left breathless and felt intoxicated.

Now I am hopelessly bonded/infatuated and am uncertain whether or not those minutes were intended as flirtation or if he is this intense with everyone. Unfortunately, I do not get an opportunity to see him interact with others to observe his behaviour.
I will say that having seen him subsequently I was eager to re-engage him and had no trouble doing so -> he stopped dead in his tracks and turned his body to face me and maintained the stare :shocked: whenever possible within the propriety of our business.

Sadly, he made no attempt to ask me out. This frustrated me, caused me to think it was rejection and then my mood soured. He noticed and commented on the mood change but misinterpreted the cause. I was too shy to share the true cause.

So, long story short the next time we meet if the atmosphere remains similarly charged then I will have no choice but to initiate a move. Until this is resolved (even potentially by rejection) I will have no relief from the infatuation.

Beware the eye contact, my friends! Double-edged sword. :frusty:

P.S. What do you think? Mutual attraction or ISTJ?
 
I like eye contact because you can really see into and sometimes through people. I don't like it when other people are uncomfortable with it because then i become uncomfortable from their uncomfortableness and then i retreat into my little shell which is the part where things get awkward.
 
I have mixed feelings about eye contact... on one hand I really enjoy the quick insights you can get from it, on the other hand I despise how vulnerable I feel when my eyes are locked with someone else's.
 
Well, if it makes any difference, anthropologists have long recognized that among most primate species (of which we are one), direct eye contact is usually considered an "invitation" to combat, especially with males. And not surprisingly in prison "culture", it's the same thing. So even if we "crave" it, recognize that it is instinctively "invasive", and needs to be approached with care, or at least in small "doses" 'til you know them better.

And BTW, it's just these little social "courtesies" and unspoken cultural "rules" (or the lack thereof) that often marks the difference in such "socially-challenged" behavioral conditions as Autism and Asperger's... they just don't "get" these kinds of things.

But all that said, when you've both reached a proper level of "trust", I'd agree there's no better form of "communication" between people.
 
Ming on Mongo said:
Well, if it makes any difference, anthropologists have long recognized that among most primate species (of which we are one), direct eye contact is usually considered an "invitation" to combat, especially with males. And not surprisingly in prison "culture", it's the same thing. So even if we "crave" it, recognize that it is instinctively "invasive", and needs to be approached with care, or at least in small "doses" 'til you know them better.

And BTW, it's just these little social "courtesies" and unspoken cultural "rules" (or the lack thereof) that often marks the difference in such "socially-challenged" behavioral conditions as Autism and Asperger's... they just don't "get" these kinds of things.

But all that said, when you've both reached a proper level of "trust", I'd agree there's no better form of "communication" between people.
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Yeah this. If someone I don't really know that well stares into my eyes for more than a few seconds, I feel like they're challenging me and I start to feel aggressive and irritated.
 
On a personal level, I love eye-contact! Gazing into people's eyes allows me to gleam a small understanding of their identities, and if I am attracted to the person as well, I can usually find myself getting lost in their eyes... It's a wonderful feeling but at the same time I have to agree that it can make me feel uncomfortable, I guess I'm too used to my veil of mystery to be okay with others analyzing me. I'll usually give my full attention to others as it's polite, and so give eye-contact. But on the few occasions that two or more people want my attention, I can find it difficult to choose who I should give eye-contact to, as I can sympathize with people who are trying to get someone's attention but get ignored (even if it is unintentional!) Does anyone else get this dilemma?
 
I don't tend to make eye contact with people I don't know very well or people I don't trust so much... don't know why, but that's what I have always done xD however, I do love looking into a certain someone's eyes <33
 
Dunno, but I don't see how anyone's "entitled" to staring into someone's eyes to get a "real" look, anymore than they are to take a peek inside the windows of our home. Folks have a right to what they care to reveal, and if they choose not to, it ain't always because of "duplicity". In fact it may even be because it's us they don't trust yet.

Same thing with there's a fine line between "interest", and being "nosey".
 
Ming on Mongo said:
Dunno, but I don't see how anyone's "entitled" to staring into someone's eyes to get a "real" look, anymore than they are to take a peek inside the windows of our home. Folks have a right to what they care to reveal, and if they choose not to, it ain't always because of "duplicity". In fact it may even be because it's us they don't trust yet.

Same thing with there's a fine line between "interest", and being "nosey".
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I feel pretty entitled because that person was revealed - they didn't put on a pair of sunglasses or anything. If they don't want to feel 'invaded' then they just don't return the eye contact; a choice most make (though making this choice out of avoidance of being invaded doesn't cover all the reasons for making that choice)

Seems like fair play to me. I'm offering the opportunity for a person to feel more secure and act on any curiosity. That seems healthy to me, in particular as they always have the option of not making that contact.

Much as the examples of the greater animal kingdom and prison environments support why some are predisposed to being that uninterested in the opportunity; there are plenty of people who are up for this 'challenge' and are appreciative for it. I know I'm one of them. And it's because I've already spent a few decades being that way.. more instinctual. And I've left that nest and know that the end of the world isn't going to take place if I am a little more brave in my observing and inviting of others.

I think this is a good step for society to be making.

Also: I think you have to be pretty comfortable with yourself to be into making some reeeal eye contact with strangers. And most people really aren't that comfortable with themselves. At least not to this degree.
 
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I make so much eye contact. I love it.
I've noticed alot of people will fake making eye contact. I have heterochromia, so if they don't notice I'm like yea, you're faking
 
I almost see inside someone when looking in their eyes for more than a glance. Being so secretive and all like they say we are, I try not to let many people look into mine deeply. heh

It's almost like sharing some kind of emotion.
 
When someone won't look into my eyes, I fell like they are hiding something from me. I try to look into people's eyes to appear open, but I think that instead they just feel probed. So I usually see that and look away.
 
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