Knowing you are an INFJ

VH · Apr 13, 2010

I've noticed that one of the conditions of being an INFJ is sometimes second guessing whether or not we are INFJs. I thought I'd start a thread for points to help alleviate some of the confusion.

1. INFJs do not have the same Ni as INTJs. INTJs seem to have a sharper Ni than INFJs. If you are doubting your Ni because you are comparing to an INTJ, be aware that their secondary Te allows their Ni to function more sharply in a lot of areas, especially logical and practical areas, and they tend to be able to ennunciate what they 'see' better than us. First, compare your Ni to everyone else. If it is stronger than most other types you know, then compare your ability to sense what people are feeling, and especially things of a spiritual nature, to an INTJ. If you are more acute here, then you are very likely an INFJ.

2. INFJs tend to appear more extroverted than a lot of other introverts because Fe is our secondary function. This can be a triple extroversion effect because Fe cares about others and is the clearest expression of 'extroversion' in the functions, the secondary position is the parent or nurturing reflex, and Ni is very difficult to spot in outward expression as it is the least outwardly expressive of all the functions. In effect, when we develop our Fe to healthy levels, it shines like a light that can obscure our Ni to others. INFJs can be extremely chatty and gregarious, and because we care about and love people, we're often seeking contact with others. The way to tell if you're an introvert is to consider how you react to extreme anger or extreme hurt feelings. Is your reflex to pull away from others? You're an introvert. Do you have to think and feel your way through these issues until you can get over them? You're an introvert. Extroverts have this amazing ability to just dump their feelings in the form of expressing them, and they're over it. Despite appearing like extroverts, we INFJs don't really have that. The closest we get to it is seeking the aid of a trusted confidante to help us figure these things out for ourselves, because we know the power of helping someone do that - because that's what we do.

3. Imagine the kind of person you would seek out, if you had to find a complete stranger to help you unravel something that was bothering you. Would that ideal person be an INFJ type, or something really close to it? Then you're an INFJ, because in those moments we're looking for a mirror.

4. J-ness. A lot of INFJs are not especially organized physically, and that's not uncommon as Se is our inferior trait. We tend to approach physical organization last, and the amount of physical disarray in our environments is usually an indication as to how backed up everything else is, as it has last priority. However, stop and consider if you can accept not having things emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually ambiguous. If that's difficult for you, then you're a J type. If you tend to need to label things, clarify, and compartmentalize things so that you can understand them better, you're a J type.

5. The darned pesky Tertiary Ti. From time to time, INFJs can get really detached and disillusioned. This happens when our Fe can't reconcile something, and the duty falls upon Ti. The problem is, Fe includes a worldview paradigm. We feel how things should be, so when they are not, this usually upsets us. At this point our Fe is only being upset, and it directs our Ti to make sense of everything, and sometimes with a fair amount of malice. When we get into this state, we can become suddenly hypercritical, bitchy, and downright mean. But, we can also become very detatched emotionally, and that steely resolve we were all born with rears its head. Combined with Ti's logical approach to things, we can really start to appear as T types, and this is especially true of INFJ males who may feel a lot of pressure to fit the cultural expectation of the T dominant male gender role. If you're considering that you might be an INTJ rather than an INFJ, there is a simple litmus. Do you tend to focus on the little details when you engage your logic functions? If so, you're using Ti and not Te, making you an INFJ. INTJs actually have a lot of trouble focusing on the details, considering them superflous. A really good indication that you're an INFJ in a Ti mode is when you can't stop focusing on the details, and go through logic loops. This is because our Ti is tertiary, and therefore pretty weak until we develop it.

VH · Apr 13, 2010

6. We're really not that uncommon, believe it or not. It's estimated that we're roughly one percent of the world population. At current, that's somewhere near 6,814,400 INFJs in the world. Don't base an assumption that you're not an INFJ on the fact that INFJs are very rare, and therefore you're not one. There are millions of us in the world.

Raccoon Love · Apr 13, 2010

Nobleheart said: ↑
1. INFJs do not have the same Ni as INTJs. INTJs seem to have a sharper Ni than INFJs. If you are doubting your Ni because you are comparing to an INTJ, be aware that their secondary Te allows their Ni to function more sharply in a lot of areas, especially logical and practical areas, and they tend to be able to ennunciate what they 'see' better than us. First, compare your Ni to everyone else. If it is stronger than most other types you know, then compare your ability to sense what people are feeling, and especially things of a spiritual nature, to an INTJ. If you are more acute here, then you are very likely an INFJ.
Click to expand...

Very much true, I have a very hard time communicating and expressing my Ni. I feel as if it lacked practicality making others easily misunderstand me. I am also more into feelings and spirituality rather than coming up with ''practical solutions''.

Nobleheart said: ↑
2. INFJs tend to appear more extroverted than a lot of other introverts because Fe is our secondary function. This can be a triple extroversion effect because Fe cares about others and is the clearest expression of 'extroversion' in the functions, the secondary position is the parent or nurturing reflex, and Ni is very difficult to spot in outward expression as it is the least outwardly expressive of all the functions. In effect, when we develop our Fe to healthy levels, it shines like a light that can obscure our Ni to others. INFJs can be extremely chatty and gregarious, and because we care about and love people, we're often seeking contact with others. The way to tell if you're an introvert is to consider how you react to extreme anger or extreme hurt feelings. Is your reflex to pull away from others? You're an introvert. Do you have to think and feel your way through these issues until you can get over them? You're an introvert. Extroverts have this amazing ability to just dump their feelings in the form of expressing them, and they're over it. Despite appearing like extroverts, we INFJs don't really have that. The closest we get to it is seeking the aid of a trusted confidante to help us figure these things out for ourselves, because we know the power of helping someone do that - because that's what we do.
Click to expand...

Yes, my caring for others does indeed overpower my need for solitude or perhaps privacy. I have noticed that at times I am indeed too chatty and in need of contact with others, I can specially go on and on if is a subject I really enjoy( Science, Fantasy, Music etc). The art of teaching really fascinates me. I still need quite a bit of alone time, but the enjoyment I get from helping others is quite great. When I do indeed notice changes in my mood such as anger I need massive privacy though other wise I explode. That is when I just need to lock myself in my room. I do wish sometimes for the support and care for others I trust but this others have to be close to me, simply just listening will make me happy.

Nobleheart said: ↑
3. Imagine the kind of person you would seek out, if you had to find a complete stranger to help you unravel something that was bothering you. Would that ideal person be an INFJ type, or something really close to it? Then you're an INFJ, because in those moments we're looking for a mirror.
Click to expand...

Yes and even more yes. When I am in need to reach out, I usually am in complete need of someone who understands me and thinks alike. Without said comprehension I do not fill cared for.

Nobleheart said: ↑
4. J-ness. A lot of INFJs are not especially organized physically, and that's not uncommon as Se is our inferior trait. We tend to approach physical organization last, and the amount of physical disarray in our environments is usually an indication as to how backed up everything else is, as it has last priority. However, stop and consider if you can accept not having things emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually ambiguous. If that's difficult for you, then you're a J type. If you tend to need to label things, clarify, and compartmentalize things so that you can understand them better, you're a J type.
Click to expand...

YES, I would not call myself the most organize person. I do however have a massive need for everything to be clear. I need one concrete answer, security. I have a need to label and organize things. Not so much physically but my mental thoughts and processes as well as others.

Nobleheart said: ↑
5. The darned pesky Tertiary Ti. From time to time, INFJs can get really detached and disillusioned. This happens when our Fe can't reconcile something, and the duty falls upon Ti. The problem is, Fe includes a worldview paradigm. We feel how things should be, so when they are not, this usually upsets us. At this point our Fe is only being upset, and it directs our Ti to make sense of everything, and sometimes with a fair amount of malice. When we get into this state, we can become suddenly hypercritical, bitchy, and downright mean. But, we can also become very detatched emotionally, and that steely resolve we were all born with rears its head. Combined with Ti's logical approach to things, we can really start to appear as T types, and this is especially true of INFJ males who may feel a lot of pressure to fit the cultural expectation of the T dominant male gender role. If you're considering that you might be an INTJ rather than an INFJ, there is a simple litmus. Do you tend to focus on the little details when you engage your logic functions? If so, you're using Ti and not Te, making you an INFJ. INTJs actually have a lot of trouble focusing on the details, considering them superflous. A really good indication that you're an INFJ in a Ti mode is when you can't stop focusing on the details, and go through logic loops. This is because our Ti is tertiary, and therefore pretty weak until we develop it.
Click to expand...

And Oh YES. This exactly describes myself at my baddest. Once my ideals get messed up, this is how I behave. I become detached, cold and hypocritical. Always criticizing the mistakes of others to the point where I do not even recognize myself. I do indeed appear much like a T type. Many see the Fe side of me, but let's say my sister or perhaps my cousins now this stage where I basically need to be left alone, I will start criticizing all their actions, and they will simply call me 'heartless''

After such period I feel terribly bad, almost to the point where my Fe goes overdrive. I become overly polite, helpful and I appear to be sorry for everything.

I am almost 100% convinced I am an INFJ after reading this.

Adymus · Apr 13, 2010

Perhaps I'm just nit picking, but I think it would be inaccurate to say INFJs have the same Ni as the INTJs. Ni-Fe creates a completely different flavor of worldview than Ni-Te. The Dominant and Auxiliary functions are connected, and share a relationship that almost makes it a single compound function. When you go into your Ni, your Fe follows and is abstracted into it, and the same goes for an INTJ's Ni and Te. An INFJ holds the ideal society (Fe) that does not exist, but should, in their Ni. While the INTJ hold the ideal system (Te) that does not exist, but should, in their Ni.

Both are Ni users, this is true, but your Ni is insurable from your respective auxiliary functions, and it is actually impossible to isolate the two from each other. Speculation of the isolated characteristic of Ni can really only be done in the abstract, as the Dominant and Auxiliary connection is the smallest increment you can reduce the understanding of their functionality.

Edit: Ugh, where are my manners? All criticism and no props. This is a great guide over all, it clears up so many misconceptions on the INFJ.

VH · Apr 13, 2010

Adymus said: ↑
Perhaps I'm just nit picking, but I think it would be inaccurate to say INFJs have the same Ni as the INTJs. Ni-Fe creates a completely different flavor of worldview than Ni-Te. The Dominant and Auxiliary functions are connected, and share a relationship that almost makes it a single compound function. When you go into your Ni, your Fe follows and is abstracted into it, and the same goes for an INTJ's Ni and Te. An INFJ holds the ideal society (Fe) that does not exist, but should, in their Ni. While the INTJ hold the ideal system (Te) that does not exist, but should, in their Ni.

Both are Ni users, this is true, but your Ni is insurable from your respective auxiliary functions, and it is actually impossible to isolate the two from each other. Speculation of the isolated characteristic of Ni can really only be done in the abstract, as the Dominant and Auxiliary connection is the smallest increment you can reduce the understanding of their functionality.

Edit: Ugh, where are my manners? All criticism and no props. This is a great guide over all, it clears up so many misconceptions on the INFJ.
Click to expand...

Very much agreed, about how INFJ Ni seems different than INTJ Ni, which was the point I was trying to make. Thanks for the clarification.

...and thank you for the props.

Adymus · Apr 13, 2010

Ah crap, I thought you wrote "INFJs have the same Ni as INTJs" I didn't even realize I misread that till now. Sorry about that!

dark_angel · Apr 13, 2010

thank you so much for this thread, it has hepled me tremendously :kiss:

Rakawi · Apr 13, 2010

IME, INFPs are more predisposed to second-guessing their type. When I read the INFJ type description, the clarity was like a brick to the face.

Trifoilum · Apr 13, 2010

Thanks for the post XD!

So it seems I'm an INFJ that's changing into INFP (or probably ISFP) and now am changing back. Good.

Reon · Apr 13, 2010

Nobleheart said: ↑
I've noticed that one of the conditions of being an INFJ is sometimes second guessing whether or not we are INFJs. I thought I'd start a thread for points to help alleviate some of the confusion.

1. INFJs do not have the same Ni as INTJs. INTJs seem to have a sharper Ni than INFJs. If you are doubting your Ni because you are comparing to an INTJ, be aware that their secondary Te allows their Ni to function more sharply in a lot of areas, especially logical and practical areas, and they tend to be able to ennunciate what they 'see' better than us. First, compare your Ni to everyone else. If it is stronger than most other types you know, then compare your ability to sense what people are feeling, and especially things of a spiritual nature, to an INTJ. If you are more acute here, then you are very likely an INFJ.
Click to expand...

As an INTJ, I'm pretty decent a understanding how a person feels but I tend to notice that, even among the INTJs I know online and off, they don't seem to have much of a spiritual side for the sake of having one. (That sounds odd but I guess what I'm trying to say is that INTJs really need spiritual systems to make sense logically, thus making them feel 'good'. This also works for people, INTjs can create a system (based on Ni) for people and with enough experience, it can seem like it's Fe. It takes a lot of subtle information and also it can take 'some' effort on the part of the INTJ) I know this isn't a question thread, but Ni seems to be a pretty funky function for the majority of INTJs/INFJs during their childhood. This is when we start to learn the 'pattern' to things, it almost makes it seem like we really don't have a dominant function for a while.

Other than that, great post

MindYourHead · Apr 13, 2010

Nobleheart said: ↑
5. The darned pesky Tertiary Ti. From time to time, INFJs can get really detached and disillusioned. This happens when our Fe can't reconcile something, and the duty falls upon Ti. The problem is, Fe includes a worldview paradigm. We feel how things should be, so when they are not, this usually upsets us. At this point our Fe is only being upset, and it directs our Ti to make sense of everything, and sometimes with a fair amount of malice. When we get into this state, we can become suddenly hypercritical, bitchy, and downright mean. But, we can also become very detatched emotionally, and that steely resolve we were all born with rears its head. Combined with Ti's logical approach to things, we can really start to appear as T types, and this is especially true of INFJ males who may feel a lot of pressure to fit the cultural expectation of the T dominant male gender role. If you're considering that you might be an INTJ rather than an INFJ, there is a simple litmus. Do you tend to focus on the little details when you engage your logic functions? If so, you're using Ti and not Te, making you an INFJ. INTJs actually have a lot of trouble focusing on the details, considering them superflous. A really good indication that you're an INFJ in a Ti mode is when you can't stop focusing on the details, and go through logic loops. This is because our Ti is tertiary, and therefore pretty weak until we develop it.
Click to expand...

That is so, so true!
When things aren't as I feel or imagined them to be, I have a hard time coming to terms with it.

alcyone · Apr 13, 2010

Von Hase....

i <3 you when you burn off all the slag from type descriptions and make them so clear and easy to understand for all.

rawr · Apr 13, 2010

thanks for this helpful little guide. thanks alot.

IndigoSensor · Apr 13, 2010

Spot on, as always.

This reinforces the idea that functions almost never act independently. They always have a filter or lens associated with it (in the form of another function). This explains why Ni appears differently in INFJ's and INTJ's. As you go down the functions disction between similar types becomes smaller. As a comparision the difference between Ni in ENTJ's and ENFJ's is not as large as it is for their introverted counterparts, and the Ni of ESTP's and ESFP's is extremely similar.

Wyote · Apr 14, 2010

Yep... still an infj here. Heh.

Edit: and the gf is still intj haha.

VH · Apr 14, 2010

alcyone said: ↑
Von Hase....

i <3 you when you burn off all the slag from type descriptions and make them so clear and easy to understand for all.
Click to expand...

You're welcome. Glad to help.

Reon said: ↑
As an INTJ, I'm pretty decent a understanding how a person feels but I tend to notice that, even among the INTJs I know online and off, they don't seem to have much of a spiritual side for the sake of having one. (That sounds odd but I guess what I'm trying to say is that INTJs really need spiritual systems to make sense logically, thus making them feel 'good'. This also works for people, INTjs can create a system (based on Ni) for people and with enough experience, it can seem like it's Fe. It takes a lot of subtle information and also it can take 'some' effort on the part of the INTJ) I know this isn't a question thread, but Ni seems to be a pretty funky function for the majority of INTJs/INFJs during their childhood. This is when we start to learn the 'pattern' to things, it almost makes it seem like we really don't have a dominant function for a while.

Other than that, great post
Click to expand...

I'm certainly not saying INTJs don't have this ability. I'm saying that this is an area where INTJs are second to INFJs, with respect to Ni use. It seems that INTJs have a better Ni to us in a lot of cases, most likely because you guys can use it in ways that we can't, especially when you guys use it to see into our 'blind spots'. All I'm doing here is explaining something to INFJs that I've learned by having an INTJ as a best friend, and that is INFJs do the same thing to INTJs. We can use Ni for things you guys can't, and can see clearly into your blind spots. It's fascinating to me how much of a yin and yang our types are to one another, and how it makes the other appear to have near magical insight.

Rakawi said: ↑
IME, INFPs are more predisposed to second-guessing their type. When I read the INFJ type description, the clarity was like a brick to the face.
Click to expand...

I think INFPs are predisposed to saying "I'm not sure if that's completely me", and INFJs are predisposed to asking "Do I really fit this description?" It seems like INFPs question their type by wondering if it is a good enough match for them, while INFJs wonder if they are a good enough match for the type description.

INFPs seem to base their opinions on measuring the types against the standard of how themselves. I have seen some INFPs come up with some pretty wacky opinions on their types. Inevitably, the INFP will either realize what they are or not based on how they feel (and whether or not people they care about are insistant about it), and the process won't take very long, as they tend not to want to get too restrictive with their self opinion.

INFJs will do the opposite. They will tinker and split hairs, constantly measuring themselves against the standard of the type, and are much more likely to continue to roll through this process each time something that might be an inconsistency appears, making sure the type is an exact fit (even though type will never be an exact fit for most people).

futuresound7 · Apr 14, 2010

Nice one again ! You always manage to descript the messy MBTI system crystal clearly.
Your situation Inspired me to get littlebit deeper on this. I saw these graphs in my
head while taking a shower. So I drew them and posted here for everyones enjoyment. :tongue1:
So we go trough different mindstates that can last from days to weeks and moths.
These periods activate different functions and develop our personality to be more solid.

1.Withdrawing
Starting to feel littlebit tired and crazy because of various factors and we need
to arrange some time just for ourselves to figure everything out.
2.Processing
Willingness to gravitate towards own space and time and getting euphoric just by
doing nothing but thinking. If there is a problem we work on it on our own or with
a trusted friend. This is the time when our tertiary thinking function is employed
to aid us.
3.Taking Action
After extensive period of solitude Fe starts to crave for some interaction! It's time
to do something useful. We begin to orient ourselves towards external world.
4.Doing it
Batterys are recharged and the extroverted feeling side appears quite brightly in the
form of spending time with the people we love, doing things together and
creating new connections etc.

During these periods we may feel like our type has changed but actually it's
just normal fluctuation.

Ps. sorry for my crappy english it's my tertiary language or something.

LadyINFJ · Apr 14, 2010

After reading this thread I am 101% sure I am an INFJ with extremely strong J. About the how common/uncommon we are........ Only 6,814,400 in the whole world? 1% of the population of the country I live in is around 3 times less than the population of the town I live in. Well, this is not a lot at all.

VH · Apr 14, 2010

User Name said: ↑

1.Withdrawing
Starting to feel littlebit tired and crazy because of various factors and we need
to arrange some time just for ourselves to figure everything out.
2.Processing
Willingness to gravitate towards own space and time and getting euphoric just by
doing nothing but thinking. If there is a problem we work on it on our own or with
a trusted friend. This is the time when our tertiary thinking function is employed
to aid us.
3.Taking Action
After extensive period of solitude Fe starts to crave for some interaction! It's time
to do something useful. We begin to orient ourselves towards external world.
4.Doing it
Batterys are recharged and the extroverted feeling side appears quite brightly in the
form of spending time with the people we love, doing things together and
creating new connections etc.
Click to expand...

This is neat!

Edit: I would assume that the stronger one's Fe is, the higher and wider the 'ENFJ' waves would become. I like this theory a lot.

bamf · Apr 14, 2010

Damn, with all your talk about Fe and being outgoing is making me think I might be an INFJ and not an ENFJ.

When I get really angry (which isn't much) I have to leave the situation to calm down and collect myself. Maybe I am an INFJ after all...

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