I've noticed that one of the conditions of being an INFJ is sometimes second guessing whether or not we are INFJs. I thought I'd start a thread for points to help alleviate some of the confusion.
1. INFJs do not have the same Ni as INTJs. INTJs seem to have a sharper Ni than INFJs. If you are doubting your Ni because you are comparing to an INTJ, be aware that their secondary Te allows their Ni to function more sharply in a lot of areas, especially logical and practical areas, and they tend to be able to ennunciate what they 'see' better than us. First, compare your Ni to everyone else. If it is stronger than most other types you know, then compare your ability to sense what people are feeling, and especially things of a spiritual nature, to an INTJ. If you are more acute here, then you are very likely an INFJ.
2. INFJs tend to appear more extroverted than a lot of other introverts because Fe is our secondary function. This can be a triple extroversion effect because Fe cares about others and is the clearest expression of 'extroversion' in the functions, the secondary position is the parent or nurturing reflex, and Ni is very difficult to spot in outward expression as it is the least outwardly expressive of all the functions. In effect, when we develop our Fe to healthy levels, it shines like a light that can obscure our Ni to others. INFJs can be extremely chatty and gregarious, and because we care about and love people, we're often seeking contact with others. The way to tell if you're an introvert is to consider how you react to extreme anger or extreme hurt feelings. Is your reflex to pull away from others? You're an introvert. Do you have to think and feel your way through these issues until you can get over them? You're an introvert. Extroverts have this amazing ability to just dump their feelings in the form of expressing them, and they're over it. Despite appearing like extroverts, we INFJs don't really have that. The closest we get to it is seeking the aid of a trusted confidante to help us figure these things out for ourselves, because we know the power of helping someone do that - because that's what we do.
3. Imagine the kind of person you would seek out, if you had to find a complete stranger to help you unravel something that was bothering you. Would that ideal person be an INFJ type, or something really close to it? Then you're an INFJ, because in those moments we're looking for a mirror.
4. J-ness. A lot of INFJs are not especially organized physically, and that's not uncommon as Se is our inferior trait. We tend to approach physical organization last, and the amount of physical disarray in our environments is usually an indication as to how backed up everything else is, as it has last priority. However, stop and consider if you can accept not having things emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually ambiguous. If that's difficult for you, then you're a J type. If you tend to need to label things, clarify, and compartmentalize things so that you can understand them better, you're a J type.
5. The darned pesky Tertiary Ti. From time to time, INFJs can get really detached and disillusioned. This happens when our Fe can't reconcile something, and the duty falls upon Ti. The problem is, Fe includes a worldview paradigm. We feel how things should be, so when they are not, this usually upsets us. At this point our Fe is only being upset, and it directs our Ti to make sense of everything, and sometimes with a fair amount of malice. When we get into this state, we can become suddenly hypercritical, bitchy, and downright mean. But, we can also become very detatched emotionally, and that steely resolve we were all born with rears its head. Combined with Ti's logical approach to things, we can really start to appear as T types, and this is especially true of INFJ males who may feel a lot of pressure to fit the cultural expectation of the T dominant male gender role. If you're considering that you might be an INTJ rather than an INFJ, there is a simple litmus. Do you tend to focus on the little details when you engage your logic functions? If so, you're using Ti and not Te, making you an INFJ. INTJs actually have a lot of trouble focusing on the details, considering them superflous. A really good indication that you're an INFJ in a Ti mode is when you can't stop focusing on the details, and go through logic loops. This is because our Ti is tertiary, and therefore pretty weak until we develop it.
1. INFJs do not have the same Ni as INTJs. INTJs seem to have a sharper Ni than INFJs. If you are doubting your Ni because you are comparing to an INTJ, be aware that their secondary Te allows their Ni to function more sharply in a lot of areas, especially logical and practical areas, and they tend to be able to ennunciate what they 'see' better than us. First, compare your Ni to everyone else. If it is stronger than most other types you know, then compare your ability to sense what people are feeling, and especially things of a spiritual nature, to an INTJ. If you are more acute here, then you are very likely an INFJ.
2. INFJs tend to appear more extroverted than a lot of other introverts because Fe is our secondary function. This can be a triple extroversion effect because Fe cares about others and is the clearest expression of 'extroversion' in the functions, the secondary position is the parent or nurturing reflex, and Ni is very difficult to spot in outward expression as it is the least outwardly expressive of all the functions. In effect, when we develop our Fe to healthy levels, it shines like a light that can obscure our Ni to others. INFJs can be extremely chatty and gregarious, and because we care about and love people, we're often seeking contact with others. The way to tell if you're an introvert is to consider how you react to extreme anger or extreme hurt feelings. Is your reflex to pull away from others? You're an introvert. Do you have to think and feel your way through these issues until you can get over them? You're an introvert. Extroverts have this amazing ability to just dump their feelings in the form of expressing them, and they're over it. Despite appearing like extroverts, we INFJs don't really have that. The closest we get to it is seeking the aid of a trusted confidante to help us figure these things out for ourselves, because we know the power of helping someone do that - because that's what we do.
3. Imagine the kind of person you would seek out, if you had to find a complete stranger to help you unravel something that was bothering you. Would that ideal person be an INFJ type, or something really close to it? Then you're an INFJ, because in those moments we're looking for a mirror.
4. J-ness. A lot of INFJs are not especially organized physically, and that's not uncommon as Se is our inferior trait. We tend to approach physical organization last, and the amount of physical disarray in our environments is usually an indication as to how backed up everything else is, as it has last priority. However, stop and consider if you can accept not having things emotionally, intellectually, or spiritually ambiguous. If that's difficult for you, then you're a J type. If you tend to need to label things, clarify, and compartmentalize things so that you can understand them better, you're a J type.
5. The darned pesky Tertiary Ti. From time to time, INFJs can get really detached and disillusioned. This happens when our Fe can't reconcile something, and the duty falls upon Ti. The problem is, Fe includes a worldview paradigm. We feel how things should be, so when they are not, this usually upsets us. At this point our Fe is only being upset, and it directs our Ti to make sense of everything, and sometimes with a fair amount of malice. When we get into this state, we can become suddenly hypercritical, bitchy, and downright mean. But, we can also become very detatched emotionally, and that steely resolve we were all born with rears its head. Combined with Ti's logical approach to things, we can really start to appear as T types, and this is especially true of INFJ males who may feel a lot of pressure to fit the cultural expectation of the T dominant male gender role. If you're considering that you might be an INTJ rather than an INFJ, there is a simple litmus. Do you tend to focus on the little details when you engage your logic functions? If so, you're using Ti and not Te, making you an INFJ. INTJs actually have a lot of trouble focusing on the details, considering them superflous. A really good indication that you're an INFJ in a Ti mode is when you can't stop focusing on the details, and go through logic loops. This is because our Ti is tertiary, and therefore pretty weak until we develop it.
