Is there any way for an INFJ to stop stressing out about things?

Obsessing and stressing is one of those traits INFJs continue to struggle with, seemingly without end.

I struggle with this constantly. The answers aren't easy.

 

Is there a way? Yes. You just stop. You focus on peace instead. If stress is like a train hurtling towards an unknown destination, then simply get off the train at the next station - it's slowing down now - here we are. The doors are opening. You're stepping off onto a calm platform. Nobody is hurrying. You're in the countryside. It's a pleasant day. Now figure out where you are, and where you want to be and walk there.

I'm oversimplifying, but my point is that you are always in control. Whether you want to continue being stressed out, or whether you want to focus on being calm, is a choice you make. Instead of pursuing every horrifying thought you have to the greatest magnitude your nightmarish imagination can conceive of, think of a potato instead (credit to youhemmein for this image). Think of a potato, underground, going about it's potato like business. It's there. It's alive. It's a potato. All is well with the world. Think I'm joking? I'm not really, despite the funny image. If you thought of the potato, living calmly beneath the surface of the world, you have stopped thinking about the things that are stressing you out. You are meditating, about a potato. Every time the stress enters, think potato-like thoughts, or focus on another image of peace and tranquility that appeals to you - a calm pool of water, a flower, a bubble floating on a gentle breeze etc etc... It's fun, it's free and it feels good. Goodbye stress.

 

I certainly haven't beaten it, but I have had some success in drastically reducing it. For me the issue seems to come from the Ti ... the endless stream of thought that's in my head when I'm stressed.

The counter for me is to find a reason to be positive, either by figuring out why I am thinking stupid things or rebutting the thoughts with feelings and such.

It doesn't work every time and it isn't instant, but I've reduced my self abuse by quite a bit.

 

So many sleepless nights

 

LOL! Yes. and Yes... sort of. I find self hypnosis works wonders. They have all kinds of tapes/CDs you can use. Exercise too, because it takes a lot of energy to worry and if you can get some of that out via exercise it makes a big difference. Of course, substance abuse is great for the short term, but that generally ruins you life and causes more stress so I wouldn't recommend this.

 

Well, there really is no such thing as a stress-free life. Unless, perhaps you would like to live in a monastery or something, and even then there are probably problems and annoyances and monks who don't get along.

One of the tricks comes with accepting feelings, trying to be curious, detached, an observer.

Another trick, which is in a way harder, is either getting away from, or learning to deal with, difficult people. That's a tough one, you must have boundaries. I learned to have boundaries, somehow.

I cannot claim to have attained a zenlike state of serenity, but I did used to have horrible problems with stress/anxiety -- nervous stomachs, debilitating shyness, all that -- and over the years, with work, it has gone way down.

 

I have found that to stop stressing out, one must "let go and surrender" what is going on to someone else, something, or a 'higher power' if you will. Time really is the ultimate way to aid in the stopping of stressing out. The problem is that is not always the most plesent method.

 

no/yes?... no.. yes... nyes?!?! ahhaha maybe half half
i think the people around me helped me A LOT

ahahaha i do that all the time( the stressing out ) but i am very happy that now, i'm surrounded with positive people and people with good vibes when i go to school. I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! (my classmates) it's been a long time since i last walked somewhere saying hi to everyone and smiling and giving them hugs.. now when i enter the classroom, i really really feel happy and i get their good vibes then i just hug whoever i encounter ahahhaa bwhahhahahah that's weird but i love the feeling... it is weird but it feels so good

and it's like whatever stress i'm feeling, it gets dominated by the positive environment hugging feeling

i think that environment really helped me like a lot... and i continue to fight whatever negative things i'm thinking about..

 

yep thats it for me to: accept it, let go of the struggle and go with the flow. And when you are in stress, find a way that works for you to get out of your mind, see the big picture again and to connect again with your inner self. To me it is driving, playing piano, sitting outside at night to look at the moon, ..

I don't think it is possible to accomplish a stress free life. Stress is just a part of life and it has its own qualities and benifits

 

Feeling responsible for things outside my control is one core reason for my stressing out. I try to remind myself which things I can contribute towards and which things are outside my domain. At that point I have to consciously work to let go of those things. I guess that also involves accepting the unideal aspects of reality.

I have read up on some behavioral therapy that deals with cycles of anxiety and depression. The workbook I used had me make a list of experiences that create a positive feeling for each of the senses. When feeling negativity you are supposed to combine a bunch of these to recreate a positive feeling from the outside. For example, you cook chocolate chip cookies, eat them while soaking in a bubble bath, with your favorite music on. It is a complete sensory immersion.

This is sometimes helpful to me because I can get so lost in my head and in this horrible existential angst that is hard to escape from because it is so intangible. It is like battling a phantom. I have a few core negative concepts in my mind dealing with feelings of isolation or powerlessness than can get triggered when enough things representing that line up in my life. Then it becomes overwhelming because I feel like those negative things are inescapable. I also tend to forget my senses or take care of myself. I have found a natural inclination to try to recenter using the simplest means rather than addressing it at the level of philosophy once the negativity sets in. I can deal with things more abstractly and realign my thinking once I'm re-centered.

 

Yes, it is possible, but you wouldn't be an INFJ anymore.

 

And then there's this:

Whenever you're feeling stressed out, I think it helps to make a nice hot cup of tea... and dump it in the lap of whoever's bugging you.

 

HAHAHA I LOVE IT!

 

OOOOH this is perfect!!

Yea there is...but its constant work...For me I can only look at today...I cant worry about whats gonna happen tomorrow...a week from now...or even a year from now...If I let myself speculate upon future happenings...I just fall apart I don't sleep, I cant eat...I worry, then worrying leads to helplessness...which leads to depression...

 

I have bad stress issues (it got so bad I had to have stomach medicine) and I've found the only thing that cures it is not doing much and not having too much to do, but not for too long a period of time or I get stressed because I'm not doing anything XD
Hypnosis CDs work pretty well too.
Overall, unless you use hypnosis or counseling I find there's not much you can do, unfortunately

 

Some stress is good, right? The bad stress is why God invented video games, right?

 

I was just about to ask the same question. I am so glad I found other INFJs, I used to think I was the only person like this. One thing I do try and do is try and detach myself from the stressor and calm down before returning to the problem.