is Fe the caring function? | INFJ Forum

is Fe the caring function?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Morgain, Aug 8, 2010.

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  1. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    When I'm reading all the MBTI talk about F on this forum, a lot of times it seems like people see Fe as THE function that cares for others (while Fi only cares for itself and Te and Ti don't care?)

    Some of the descriptions I read about the judging functions say the same. When talking about Te or Ti it states "Te/Ti bases there judgements on logic so ..." and " Fi makes decisions based on feelings and allows al person to know what they value" but then on the Fe thing it is not anymore about values but Fe is the ability to relate and the desire to connect with others.



    As far as I know is Fe a judging function that makes decisions based on the values and morals of the group. Caring for others isn't bound to one function only the way you do is defined by the function you use: doing stuff for others, making things for others, solving their problems, giving them advise, listening to their story, ...

    jungs descriptions of the functions:
    How come that the "connecting with others" is seen as the playground of Fe? and is it correct in your opinion?
     
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    #1 Morgain, Aug 8, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2010
  2. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    Te is the caring function! :)

    No, I'm not joking, I think Fi empathizes with others and then takes care of them using Te. Which may be sometimes a better approach than the Ti/Fe way of caring. It depends!

    They complement each other, and need each other in many ways. Fe cannot solve some problems, which Te can solve, for example.
     
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    #2 enfp can be shy, Aug 8, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2010
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  3. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    Feeling relates to people and Thinking relates to ideas.

    Thinkers care a great deal about ideas.
     
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    Morgain

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    yes that is what I mean, every function has its own way of taking care. Fi empathizes, listens to the others problems and let them know it is ok, Fe gives you good advise, Te solves problems in a more technical way, Ti ... I haven't a good understanding of this function to make a statement :D. I think I also use Ne to help others, to search for other ways of looking at a problem or dealing with
     
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  5. Phoenix Down

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    My Fe cares more about me than it does others... because having friends that are good enough to give you a hand are handy (ha ha).

    I see Fe more as a tool. But that might just be my cold hearted NT mentality speaking.
     
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  6. 88chaz88

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    Fe is feeling in relation to others. This is a double edged sword though. Not all emotions are good.

    Your Fe seems to be expressing itself in the classic way of being manipulative. Fe users understand others emotions more and this make it easier to twist others into giving them what they want.

    Yeah, Fe isn't all sunshine and rainbows. There is a dark side.
     
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  7. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    Fe cares about others first and yourself second. In fact, I sort of can't use an example of how Fe works without using the word care, so yes.
    It works for harmony, caring about how people would fair being in that good situation and not, and tries to make it so everyone is happy. Fe would rather let themselves feel uncomfortable if it helps other feel comfortable. It is the F function that cares about creating happiness, but not the one that tries to figure out how the user itself feels about the actions taken, in a moral sense.
     
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  8. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    And yes we know Fi isn't all bad, hell, look at Raccoon Love! Proof enough I think.
     
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  9. 88chaz88

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    Fe = Understanding and using other peoples emotions.

    Fi = Understanding and using your own emotions.

    Or that's the way I see it anyway.
     
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    Morgain

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    no it is not about emotions, its about morals and values
     
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  11. Gaze

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    Agree. I notice this at work. I can help others more, without feeling a compromise to self, if I stay true to Fi and allow Te to be the way I help others. I feel completely inefficient/ineffective when i operate in Fe mode. Te allows me to work it out so that someone is being helped - i'm pretty matter of fact/straightforward. "If you do this, then this . . ." or "If you want to achieve this, then here are your options . . ." I love doing this. I hate on the other hand having to think in terms of, "oh, wow, sorry you're going through this, well i hope things get better." I'd rather be able to offer some suggestions to help you resolve it than simply offering you sympathy. Instead, I will say something like, "ok. Well, can you do this, or will A work or B work?" or "If you need A, why don't you perform steps B, C, and D." Which is why i hate it when i get excuses.
     
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    #11 Gaze, Aug 8, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2010
  12. 88chaz88

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    SEMANTICS!
     
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  13. OP
    Morgain

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    they are not the same. Values and morals are thorough like logic, and only set after a long path of validation. Emotions are quick responses on things that happen to us and change from one minute to the other. Values don't change that quick. They can be accompanied by emotions but it is not always the case.
     
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  14. DoveAlexa

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    I've never really found Fe to be ineffectual.
    Without Fe, you wouldn't care to help others and create a plan for them with your Te. You're using BOTH AT ONCE, just your Te is better, and so your plans thus are better, but you wouldn't have cared to make one to help someone without having Fe. You can't say Fe isolated and alone is ineffectual because no function exists on its own anyhow, so it'd be impossible to say if it is indeed useless or ineffectual.
    My Fe is "better" than your Te in development and I can still use Te to make a plan to make someone feel better.
    The only main contract I can see, is the difference between when Fe is >Te and visa versa. You're better at the plan to make things better, I'm better at figuring out whats actually wrong and what they do in fact need. (Though you may disagree the point that you don't know as well as a higher Fe user that you may not have any trouble figuring out what people need or what would make things better but *cough* understanding others is a function of Fe and so it would make perfect sense to say that if your Fe is not in the top 2 or 3 functions you use you probably aren't perfect in deciphering what people feel or need).
    Also, every Fi user has Fe, you can't NOT have Fe, so naturally a person with Fi dom, sec, tertiary, etc can still be a caring person.
     
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  15. Gaze

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    It depends on the person. Everyone operates differently in each mode. For me, Fe is a source of stress. I don't think it's an either/or thingy. I don't think Fe is necessarily the source of caring either. I think you can care in different ways. I just think it's a matter of caring differently through each function.
     
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    #15 Gaze, Aug 8, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2010
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  16. enfp can be shy

    enfp can be shy people vs the bad people?
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    No, no. We don't have to turn another thread into "mine is better than yours"; it's fine.

    Mine is better than yours, sometimes. Other times, the opposite is true. If they didn't need each other, they wouldn't have survived together for so long.

    p.s. also, in the end, "mine" is "yours". They can't even be defined separately.
     
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    #16 enfp can be shy, Aug 8, 2010
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  17. Zero Angel

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    Fe types are more likely to care for others by doing things for them. For example, in Team Deathmatch games, I am more likely to watch how my allies move, and plan my moves in relation to theirs -- in order to cover their blind spots and fill in a group role ("Role" is a key word for Fe). In MMO games, I often play as a healer or support mage and trying to keep everyone alive by attacking/healing selectively. If I cook something for myself, I realize that it's actually more effective to cook for someone else as well as myself since while I might expend an extra 25% effort in having to work with more food, I am essentially helping someone (granting them an equivalent amount of happiness) while fulfilling my own needs. For that extra 25% effort, it is worth while.

    This comes down to how Fe affects my core values. Of one such value is 'If we look out for each other, then we can accomplish more than what we would otherwise accomplish alone'. To do this, I need to find a role, preferably one which is highly valued by others. I might be a teacher, a listener, and instructor, or a leader. I might support your cause and act as an advocate on your behalf. Whichever role I choose, its usually one which is designed to grant me respect in your eyes, if you are important to me.

    Not all Fe types will have this morality, however they will usually have a knowledge of how their actions affect others and can plan their words and actions to achieve a desired effect (ESTPs often pair Se with Fe, making them good manipulators and smooth talkers). My best friends are ENTPs, and I am surprised sometimes at their generosity, but I think this is due to how their Fe works, with an understanding of how their action would affect their friends, thus binding them to them (another key Fe concept).

    The same type of Fe morality comes into play in all sorts of group dynamics. It is important that a group can get along and work together. At best, it allows people to cover others with their strengths and have their weaknesses covered by others. At worst, it can lead to groupthink, intolerance of external differences, or using the understandings of peoples emotions to manipulate them.

    Ti doms also use Fe. However since they are primarily attuned to systems, one of their first thoughts is to how to affect a system efficiently with the least amount of damage. When I notice someone using an inefficient method, I usually try to show them a better method and give them the supporting facts so that they can reach the same conclusion, because I like to make things better as part of my perfectionism. This grates on my ENFP sister because she percieves it as as an invalidation of her choices, rather than an opportunity for improvement.
     
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    #17 Zero Angel, Aug 8, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2010
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  18. Gaze

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    I think it's important to keep in mind that you can care for someone by focusing on what's the best for them, and not necessarily be concerned about how they feel or think about you. I think Fe seems to care what others think about it; it needs to be seen as caring, whereas Te cares about the best way to get something done. So, it may not focus as much on how everyone feels, but instead it may focus on how someone's situation may be helped by how to handle it differently, regardless of what the person thinks of him or her. I've observed this in my family for a long time. You have those who show their concern, caring and sympathy to someone directly, and do things for them to show how they feel. And you have those do what they can for you because they think it's in your best interest, whether or not you think of them in a positive light because of it.

    I struggle with Fe because it needs to be seen as Feeling and it's hard for me to be productive when i have to think about how i'm seen. But it seems this is the preferred mode of our world today - you must be seen doing something visible to be perceived as caring or helpful. Which is unfortunate.
     
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    #18 Gaze, Aug 8, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2010
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  19. OP
    Morgain

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    see that is what I mean. You don't need Fe to care for others. People mostly use there top four functions and that means for half of the types Fe isn't in it. For me Fe is a shadow function and works therefore in a more negative way. According to your logic that would mean that I can't care for others, or that my caring for others is done in a negative way. That is not true. And INTJ's for who Fe is the lowest of functions can be very caring and helpful to others. They only would rather use Te to do the job than Fe
     
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  20. Phoenix Down

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    Well done. I wasn't going to say the M word, but yeah... basically.

    With my Fe fueled by Ti combined with my ever expanding Si database, I Shall be unstopable! :m179:

    That is until Ne finds somthing else to do... every 6 secconds... Damnit!
     
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