Irritated with parts of your own culture/religion/"race"/insert human group here

[WellNoWonder]

I hope I don't offend anyone with this.

But I was looking at the controversial First Nations thread, and I realized that I do feel this way sometimes about groups I identify with in one way or the other. Maybe not as extreme, but I do find myself in annoyance with certain aspects of the groups I can be classified in: African-American, woman, mother, etc.

What makes me not share these feelings is possibly giving validity to those who are not considered a part of these groups, but may think the same negative thoughts...A sort of protective move, though irrational.

Another issue is, I am not going to discuss the ills of a culture with someone who has not taken time to research that culture past media observations.

Does anyone else feel this way?

How do you counter these bad feelings? What rationale do you use in order to do so?

I'm having a hard time expressing myself here. You all may understand what I'm asking though

 

[IndigoSensor]

I am gay, and I largely dislike and disagree with gay culture and the gay movement as a whole. I don't associate myself with it. I don't think it is bad though. For a while I did because I was fighting with myself over it (I made myself feel obligated to be part of it). This has since left me.

 

[Quinlan]

The problem I have with (european) New Zealand culture is that it seems really shallow and detached from it's roots.

 

[Kavalan]

The radical polarization of politics in the US along with the sensationalist media coverage that exacerbates it to a whole new level.

Put that in you head for a while and see how it feels...

 

[Raccoon Love]

I am gay, and I largely dislike and disagree with gay culture and the gay movement as a whole. I don't associate myself with it. I don't think it is bad though. For a while I did because I was fighting with myself over it (I made myself feel obligated to be part of it). This has since left me.

+1

 

[Gaze]

I'm from the Caribbean, and too often, the countries' political problems and crime stats emphasized in the media v. touristy image on commercial travel ads makes the association bitter-sweet.

 

[youhemmein]

I get frustrated with the evangelical Christian community on a regular basis, for a lot of reasons. Also, I don't like most women I meet irl. Kinda sad. :/

 

[Ecton]

I have some trouble with the Eastern New Jersey bigoted culture that my atomic family ran away from. Think 'Sopranos' where all they do is sit around and talk about what is wrong with 'those people'. Where there were at least 45 flavors of 'those people' each with a fixed behavior, apparently, that my relatives so keenly observed. Extended family get-togethers have always involved me biting my tongue.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Having travelled, honestly, Australians are the most friendly, easy-going Western people anywhere.

What gives me the absolute shit is that Australians are imbibing the American mentality/way of life and because of it are becoming increasingly adversarial and agressive to each other, not to mention excessively materialistic.

 

[NeverAmI]

Consumerism and potentially capitalism.

 

[arbygil]

Absolutely, WNW. I'm almost in the same boat as you, except the mother part.

I get frustrated at stupid behavior, period, but it seems *especially* prevalent amongst those cultures with which I associate (either on purpose, or by default). Evangelical Christians absolutely drive me nuts, especially here in the middle of the Bible belt. Such intolerance from so many people! I'm grateful I found a place that teaches the opposite of it, but still...I want to hide who I am every time a fool like Phelps rears his fool racist, homophobic head.

African-Americans...yeah, I cringe when I see another African American male on TV for the harder crimes...or the dumber ones.

But really, I think it just comes down to stupidity. One of my ex-bf's from long, long ago had a saying and I've come to believe it: I have a prejudice against stupid people.

 

[Satya]

I am gay, and I largely dislike and disagree with gay culture and the gay movement as a whole. I don't associate myself with it. I don't think it is bad though. For a while I did because I was fighting with myself over it (I made myself feel obligated to be part of it). This has since left me.

+2

 

[Blind Bandit]

I struggle with the Disabled culture. There is so much focused on the disability that most don't let the disability get out of the way. I don't know how any could stand focusing on their disability every freaking day. My blindness is harden enough to deal with let alone allowing it to overly define me. I understand accepting it but at the same time I'm not happy to be hindered either.

 

[testing]

I hope I don't offend anyone with this.

But I was looking at the controversial First Nations thread, and I realized that I do feel this way sometimes about groups I identify with in one way or the other. Maybe not as extreme, but I do find myself in annoyance with certain aspects of the groups I can be classified in: African-American, woman, mother, etc.

What makes me not share these feelings is possibly giving validity to those who are not considered a part of these groups, but may think the same negative thoughts...A sort of protective move, though irrational.

Another issue is, I am not going to discuss the ills of a culture with someone who has not taken time to research that culture past media observations.

Does anyone else feel this way?

How do you counter these bad feelings? What rationale do you use in order to do so?

I'm having a hard time expressing myself here. You all may understand what I'm asking though

Yes, I think I understand.

I definitely feel frustrated by the behavior of people who share my race/gender/nationality, but I've lived long enough in the world to know that people are people, and you cannot expect perfection from any group or individual, and you cannot (really) change people, so you are left with the options of accepting them, flaws and all, and doing the best with what you've got.

It's a good policy, I think, to give people the benefit of the doubt while at the same time not lumping them as victims or not holding them to high standards. And you certainly shouldn't accept bad behavior as inevitable or excusable -- it's not.

Human nature is universal, and there is always a way to bring out the best in human nature. And the worst. Expecting the worst from people is one really good way to bring it out.