INTP's and INFJ Relations. | INFJ Forum

INTP's and INFJ Relations.

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by eidelweiss, Aug 2, 2010.

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  1. eidelweiss

    eidelweiss Regular Poster

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    As far as the opposite sex goes, most of my male friends are INTPs. My boyfriend is also an INTP. All of these relationships have been positive for me.

    What are your relationships with INTP's like? Other types, feel free to participate.
     
  2. IndigoSensor

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    I couldn't date an INTP in the majority of cases. I had a kinda-sorta fling with an INTP 2 years ago. After a few days I got sick of him. It's the Ne that would get to me. Ne and Ni simply do not mix when you get deeper with things, and if I constantly got poked with Ti I would get very annoyed. I could do much better with an ISTP then an INTP.

    Hell, to be honest, I don't think I could date any P type, except maybe an ISTP.

    As far as friends, I have never gotten close to one. I get irratated at some point and I just can't connect with them on a deep level. Although I am friends with a few, I am not good friends with them.
     
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  3. DoveAlexa

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    I don't think I've ever had a close friendship with any INTPs. They seem to not appreciate how I don't give them any argument fodder, or ever try to argue with them.
     
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  4. Wyote

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    One of my best friends is an INTP. I've known him a very long time and grown up with him so I have a pretty good understanding of how we differ. We get along best when we are discussing ideas. We have very in depth conversations about all sorts of different concepts. I can talk endlessly with him about video games, philosophy, spirituality, and even politics which is something I rarely discuss with anyone but with him it can be very interesting. I also find him hilarious. His dry wit which sometimes isn't even intentional always makes me smile.

    On the down side, I don't know how he genuinely feels about a lot of things (known him for about 15 years)... though he may not really know either. He often tells me I am "too soft", and can be pretty cold at times.
     
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  5. Razare

    Razare Community Member

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    I'm not certain I have ever met an INTP. I went around believing I was the only INTP I knew for the longest time. I'm very similar to one, so I think I would have noticed if I met one.

    I'd actually like to meet an INTP woman, around my age, attractive and smarter than me. That's just a little fantasy of mine, though... :md:
     
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  6. Norton

    Norton XXXX

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    He likely doesn't even know that he doesn't know.
     
  7. OP
    eidelweiss

    eidelweiss Regular Poster

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    This is how my relationships with my friends who are INTP's seem to be. Talking about common interests, ideas, me listening a lot. I guess I have a high listening tolerance because I grew up with an INTP who also has Asperger's Syndrome. All of the INTP's I know except my boyfriend do not talk about their feelings much. I guess I am privileged in that respect.
     
  8. Skoffin

    Skoffin <font color=#00EE99>She Whose Name We Do Not Speak

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    People tend to think we're meaniefaces.
     
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  9. athenian200

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    I like INTPs, as long as they're not in large groups of other INTPs. When they are, it tends to bring out their worst qualities.

    Let's see...

    Positive:

    1. They're good debate partners.

    2. They're good at brainstorming.

    3. They're not too emotionally demanding.

    4. They usually seem to feel empathy for you, especially if you're suffering because of oppressive or arbitrary social rules.

    5. They generally understand the larger words in my vocabulary, and my obscure metaphors.

    Negative:

    1. They're not good at putting plans into action.

    2. They may embarrass you in public.

    3. Sometimes they don't care if they hurt your feelings.

    Well, that's all I could think of.
     
    #9 athenian200, Aug 2, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2010
  10. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    I truly wish infjs weren't so rare, I don't think I've ever met one in real life.
     
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  11. Norton

    Norton XXXX

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    Female INTP's may be even rarer.
     
  12. Tamagochi

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    I've noticed quite a few male INTP - female INFJ pairings in the forum. Maybe it can work this way but it's not that charming in a reverse situation.

    I've known some INTPs in real life. Men can be good friends or colleagues but they can also get really annoying sometimes. Especially when discussing not work related subjects. For that reason they are not best friend material for me.

    Women are better to get along and I've actually dated one who was smarter than me. But then realized that brains are not that big of turn-on for me :)

    Scratch that: most of the time they don't care if they hurt your feelings.

    They're not that rare. Female ENTPs are :)
     
  13. Norton

    Norton XXXX

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    I'd like to point out that most of the people on this forum seem to be young (late teens, twenties, early thirties). Emotionally, INTP's can often be late bloomers who become more balanced in their late thirties into their forties. I was lucky to have help from my INFJ wife. (We all need help of some kind.)

    When you meet a person, any person, who is young, you should keep in mind that, in addition to what you see, there is also possibly untapped, undeveloped potential that could shape that person into much more than you see now. Depending on one's experiences and ability to learn therefrom, a person may develop into an incredibly interesting, balanced human being.

    I think that there is a tendency to rely on MBTI as if it is the ultimate definition of personality. Despite knowing this, I am also guilty. MBTI allows for only 16 categories in which to divide the whole of humanity. There is so much more than four letters that shape and define a personality. While we may have particular preferences, the expression of these preferences may be wildly different between people of the same type. As an example, I cite a good friend of mine who may be the only INTP I know IRL, if he is, indeed, an INTP. He's an organic chemistry Ph.D. who is brilliant and full of great ideas. We can talk for hours excitedly about all kinds of ideas spanning all of science and technology. It's fun and we just click. (We both know not to inflict our conversations on others.) But, in contrast to me, his personal life is, and has been, a disaster, partly because of an unhappy childhood in a dysfunctional family. But, also, partly, because he never had good experiences in an emotional environment that would gently and safely allow him to develop and teach him to understand his and others' feelings. He's a wounded person unlikely, at his age, to find a fulfilling, intimate relationship. He suffers, but what a mind!
     
  14. Lilchamor

    Lilchamor Regular Poster

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    My best friend is an INTP.

    My husband is also an INTP, or so we think. In any case, he's really great at starting things and then leaving them half-finished for years (oh, the closet!), or ranting about something he is really passionate about, leaving other people clueless.
     
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  15. Peppermint

    Peppermint Well-known member

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    It's a lot like this most of the time...
     
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    #15 Peppermint, Aug 3, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2010
  16. OP
    eidelweiss

    eidelweiss Regular Poster

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    I am also beginning to think I have so many INTP friends and friends who express emotions in a non-neurotypical fashion is because I am, to a certain degree, an empath.

    Getting into fights with my friends is devastating even if I know I am not at fault. I feel all their anger and attempts to make me feel guilt as though they are my own. My friends who are not INTP's know that they cannot do this to me, as it is very bad for me.

    I agree with these statements mostly. Number three in my experience has been more that they don't realize they've hurt my feelings and apologize... later.
     
  17. Words

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    I have met and some befriended a significant number of INFJ's---about 20. All around my age.

    I have met 3 INTP's. One female around my age and 2 middle-aged female.

    I can communicate pleasingly with most INFJ's except for one who betrayed me and my other INFJ friend. I think it's the "easily approachable" signal or some sort.

    I also observed that the "deeper" INFJ's have more pronounced weaknesses, mainly with Se. But I get along more with them. Language synch.

    I lack sufficient data with INTP's.

    I agree with these:

    -------------

    Isn't this everyone? Personally, I believe I'm average when it comes with empathy.
     
  18. crystaluni

    crystaluni Community Member

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    Our minds meet easily, but I doubt our hearts ever could. We can see eye to eye and agree in theory, but I think having to deal with one on a deeper emotional level would be utterly catastrophic.

    I like INTPs as buddies, especially as co-workers. And that's as far as I'm willing to go with a stereotypical INTP relationship-wise.
     
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