INFJs and stressing over little things | INFJ Forum

INFJs and stressing over little things

Nela

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Jul 21, 2009
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I experience I'm very susceptible to stress. I can totally stress over trival things that aren't really important. Talking to strangers, having to ask people for help,.. even driving gives me a lot of stress.

Do you have similar experiences with this? Do you stress a lot over things that actually aren't very important? And what is it that gives you stress?
 
I stress a lot about the fact that I don't progress with my guitar and when I waste time doing nothing.
That one gives me a lot of stress.
 
My stressors:

1.) People taking forever to pay at the cashier and still taking forever to put their change in their purse(bugs me, bugs me alot)
2.) People talking loudly while trying to concentrate and having no consideration for others.
3.) Having to defend my point of view. I know exactly what my point is, the real trouble is explaining it to people.
4.) People being slow,acting slow,eating slow...you get my point LOL
5.)Having everything due in one day because I procastinated.
6.) Babies crying
7.) Someone needing help and nobody giving a shit.
8.) Loud noices and loud people
 
Yes yes yes.
 
1. People bugging me about spilling stuff or honest mistakes. Sometimes accidents can't be prevented
2. Amusia...:m077:
3. People touching hair and knees (something in my brain goes loco)
4. People putting others down for the sake of comedy...
5. Stupid questions. I'm not talking about the honestly-I-don't-know questions...the ones where people could think about it for like 6 seconds and figure it out, or wait for the teacher to actually carry on with his lecture instead of rudely interrupting it.
6. That look people give you when they see you doing something strange as if to say "Wow, what a noob". It disgusts me.
 
If I don't meditate/pray/bless others regularly I get stressed at the smallest things. Usually other people are involved, but it is me stressing myself by becoming agitated by their needs/demands when I'd rather just stay within myself. By allowing myself regular 'in' time I can give to other people calmly and with great presence of mind for the rest of the day, but some days I forget or don't allow myself my time of peace and reflection, so it is those days when I can become stressed out easily.
 
My stressors:

1.) People taking forever to pay at the cashier and still taking forever to put their change in their purse(bugs me, bugs me alot)
2.) People talking loudly while trying to concentrate and having no consideration for others.
3.) Having to defend my point of view. I know exactly what my point is, the real trouble is explaining it to people.
4.) People being slow,acting slow,eating slow...you get my point LOL
5.)Having everything due in one day because I procastinated.
6.) Babies crying
7.) Someone needing help and nobody giving a shit.
8.) Loud noices and loud people

1) I had to laugh at this one. My mom is actually one of these persons. When I go shopping with her I totally go crazy! :)
3) This one is really awful. I'm having so much trouble with this. I know exactly what I want to say, but the way it usually comes out...well.. I'm always struggling with this. I get so frustrated when they don't get what I want to say arrg!
 
If I don't meditate/pray/bless others regularly I get stressed at the smallest things. Usually other people are involved, but it is me stressing myself by becoming agitated by their needs/demands when I'd rather just stay within myself. By allowing myself regular 'in' time I can give to other people calmly and with great presence of mind for the rest of the day, but some days I forget or don't allow myself my time of peace and reflection, so it is those days when I can become stressed out easily.

I see.. I actually never even thought of it that way, but I think this is also true for me. I get stressed more easily when I don't have some kind of 'inner peace'. Interesting!
 
If I don't meditate/pray/bless others regularly I get stressed at the smallest things. Usually other people are involved, but it is me stressing myself by becoming agitated by their needs/demands when I'd rather just stay within myself. By allowing myself regular 'in' time I can give to other people calmly and with great presence of mind for the rest of the day, but some days I forget or don't allow myself my time of peace and reflection, so it is those days when I can become stressed out easily.

What kind of meditation do you do? I'm very interested in learning meditation but I get frustrated that I don't achieve it right away. That's a nice philosophy by the way, I like it :)

1) I had to laugh at this one. My mom is actually one of these persons. When I go shopping with her I totally go crazy! :)
3) This one is really awful. I'm having so much trouble with this. I know exactly what I want to say, but the way it usually comes out...well.. I'm always struggling with this. I get so frustrated when they don't get what I want to say arrg!

I know what you mean. That's why I usually try to avoid debates because other people tell me to defend my position and I would gladly do but the problem is that it usually comes out not the way I intended or end up accidently insulting other people. However, I'm trying to become better at it. It's one of those life challenges that once you overcome it you feel very good about yourself.
 
I get stressed by loud, boring people, laziness, not seeing close true friends, people who say they are going to do something then fail to follow through.
 
What kind of meditation do you do? I'm very interested in learning meditation but I get frustrated that I don't achieve it right away.

The most helpful thing I ever read about meditation is that it's not a competition. It's not something that you have to win at. I think it's easy to see every aim in life as like a race - always trying to improve on your previous performance, but meditation is not like that. In fact it doesn't matter at all what you do to meditate, or how long your do it for, but rather that you do it regularly - every day at rougly the same time - whatever time suits you. I tend to do it on the train to work, because it's a set time each day when I have the opportunity for 10-15 minutes to be inside my own head. I tend to focus on my breath, which is a simple but effective meditation - just keeping concentration on my breath going out - not paying attention to other thoughts. I do this for as long as it takes to feel calm (usually within 5-10 minutes I can reach a state of awareness). Then I spend whatever is left of the journey silently blessing all of the passengers on the train - wishing them to have good health, success, prosperity - a wonderful day with positive experiences.. that sort of thing. Then I have a 15 minute walk to work in which I focus on awareness of my surroundings - the colour of leaves, the reflections in puddles, the faces of people passing by. This is such an energising experience - by the time I reach work I am ready for the day, but if something does go wrong during the morning or I begin to feel the stress mounting up again I take my lunchtime to go outside and sit quietly to regain my composure for the afternoon. It's always worth taking the time, although as I said before - sometimes I don't for whatever reason and then I really notice the difference.
 
I stress over anything to do with college, work or money. Sometimes it's big, but mostly it's just little things, like enrollment (just going in to pick subjects). Although I tend to switch between stressing and being overly relaxed ^^"
 
People bitching.
 
.. even driving gives me a lot of stress.

I find driving extremely stressful. Last weekend, my boyfriend and I met in a small city I was not familiar with (we are in a LDR). Since he had to drive slightly further to meet, I agreed to do the driving while we were in town. They were doing a lot of construction, and getting on and off the highway was crazy. On top of that, I had thought my phone was charged, and I left my charger at home, so we had to spend 1.5 hours driving in construction-ridden traffic at 9:00 PM on a rainy night in a city I had never been to before, trying to find a store that was open...we went to 3 stores before I found my charger. Unfortunately, I did NOT handle the situation well. I had to tell my boyfriend to backseat drive and keep his eyes peeled because I had to focus all my energy on NOT getting in an accident.
 
I find driving extremely stressful. Last weekend, my boyfriend and I met in a small city I was not familiar with (we are in a LDR). Since he had to drive slightly further to meet, I agreed to do the driving while we were in town. They were doing a lot of construction, and getting on and off the highway was crazy. On top of that, I had thought my phone was charged, and I left my charger at home, so we had to spend 1.5 hours driving in construction-ridden traffic at 9:00 PM on a rainy night in a city I had never been to before, trying to find a store that was open...we went to 3 stores before I found my charger. Unfortunately, I did NOT handle the situation well. I had to tell my boyfriend to backseat drive and keep his eyes peeled because I had to focus all my energy on NOT getting in an accident.

Yeah I know what you mean. I always feel like I have to focus on too many things at once. I also have trouble concentrating when driving. Sometimes I'm just exhausted after driving around for half an hour.
 
Stressing over a lot of little things is something that I tend to do. I need to learn to focus better and not worry about things that I cannot influence.
 
I experience I'm very susceptible to stress. I can totally stress over trival things that aren't really important. Talking to strangers, having to ask people for help,.. even driving gives me a lot of stress.

Do you have similar experiences with this? Do you stress a lot over things that actually aren't very important? And what is it that gives you stress?


Yup. So much so that I've developed generalized anxiety disorder in my late teens.
 
If I don't meditate/pray/bless others regularly I get stressed at the smallest things. Usually other people are involved, but it is me stressing myself by becoming agitated by their needs/demands when I'd rather just stay within myself. By allowing myself regular 'in' time I can give to other people calmly and with great presence of mind for the rest of the day, but some days I forget or don't allow myself my time of peace and reflection, so it is those days when I can become stressed out easily.

Yes, you are right. When I do that, I am also much calmer.