INFJs and Obvious "Truths"

[WellNoWonder]

I have been observing the board a bit more than posting, and it seems to me that us INFJs can sometimes be passive when it comes to acknowledging what may be for the most part true.

Does anyone here agree with this? Do you think that INFJs have a way of ignoring the obvious? If so, why do you think we do it?

If you don't agree, what's your counter-theory and explain? I'm not asking for an essay, just would like to know others' thoughts.

 

[Ria]

I think I know why you started this, and it's a good question and way of reflection.

It's my feeling that we do this because we can usually see all sides, and want to maintain harmony. We dislike rocking the boat and will sometimes be direct yet in a calm and kind way.

I guess knowing the truth ourselves, we can usually find comfort in that and allow others to see it for themselves through our reflective form of communication.

I hope that makes sense...

 

[Orion]

This is obviously related to something. In what context are we talking here?

 

[WellNoWonder]

I think we strive to avoid conflict by ignoring it rather than addressing it. I'm not sure why we do this. Watching the board's turbulent nature over the past week has brought this question out of me.

 

[randomsomeone]

I hope that makes sense...

It does...nicely stated.

 

[WellNoWonder]

I think I know why you started this, and it's a good question and way of reflection.

It's my feeling that we do this because we can usually see all sides, and want to maintain harmony. We dislike rocking the boat and will sometimes be direct yet in a calm and kind way.

I guess knowing the truth ourselves, we can usually find comfort in that and allow others to see it for themselves through our reflective form of communication.

I hope that makes sense...

Ria, there are big and small reasons, one I am not up to discussing at this point. Mainly, the conflict between Crow and the board and how many chose to ignore him, and 2 INFJs engaged him, and one other person was another MBTI.

 

[WellNoWonder]

It does...nicely stated.

I agree.

 

[IndigoSensor]

I have a feeling that the exact definition of what "truth" is, will come up. I care not to define this. I know what "truth" is to me, it has it's own meaning, and I simply with with that when I search for "truths".

To me, I become exceedinlly annoyed if I can't find the truth for something. Everything in my world has to have some kind of reason, meaning, and pattern. I firmly believe, that in some way, everything is interconnected, and that everything relates to some universal theme. This really applies to internal things, that really can't be pinned down in reality to easily.

My judging score is very high, so I really like to apply meaning to data and information, and nail everything down. To me this is the search for truth with me. I need to do this. If I don't I actually become rather stressed out. I feel like I am then throwing caution into the wind and am not processing things efficently. I will sometimes create a truth that only I can understand for the time being. Later on though, I will try to be able to explain it.

 

[Ria]

Ria, there are big and small reasons, one I am not up to discussing at this point. Mainly, the conflict between Crow and the board and how many chose to ignore him, and 2 INFJs engaged him, and one other person was another MBTI.

What you say is exactly what I had suspected, and I was tuned in to your lack of wanting to directly state in your OP. I hope I didn't cause you to feel as though you had to make your reasons known, my intent was not to be envasive. (friendly smiles to WellNoWonder). But yea, I liked your questions about it...

 

[randomsomeone]

I think Ria's point is a good one....truth (ultimate truth anyway) is a journey. One must respect that journey in another person. This is why the manner in which we travel alongside each other matters. There are ultimate truths, but the paths to these truths are very diverse. One never knows how another is processing it all.

 

[WellNoWonder]

What you say is exactly what I had suspected, and I was tuned in to your lack of wanting to directly state in your OP. I hope I didn't cause you to feel as though you had to make your reasons known, my intent was not to be envasive. (friendly smiles to WellNoWonder). But yea, I liked your questions about it...

No you did not make me feel this way at all. I'm glad you see it actually, and why I love this forum so. Believe me, I feel very connected to you at this exact moment because of it.

I have to ask the questions, because I really, really want us to understand ourselves, and at the same time, remain TRUE to ourselves.

 

[Whitefire89]

I think we strive to avoid conflict by ignoring it rather than addressing it. I'm not sure why we do this. Watching the board's turbulent nature over the past week has brought this question out of me.

Strive to avoid...

No..not really.

well as with me i tend to want to strive toward conflict but only to solve it.

I hear INFJ's are protectors.

I enjoy protecting others...therefore i put myself in the conflict.

 

[Introspiritual]

I think we strive to avoid conflict by ignoring it rather than addressing it. I'm not sure why we do this. Watching the board's turbulent nature over the past week has brought this question out of me.

Fe = consideration. As it is the INFJ's first-line tool for dealing with others, we try to get along with people and strive for harmony. As such, we avoid conflict in order to not hurt/injure others, because the feeling of that is echoed back to us. The stronger our Fe, the easier it is for avoidance to trump action.

Part of starting to use Ti and Se more is to understand that sometimes there has to be a bit of conflict in order for peace to return. It's counter-intuitive, so we have a bit of a hard time with it at first. However, as we grow, it does become easier to do.

 

[mooseman]

Interesting topic, WNW. For me, when it comes to people, I think we are somehow spiritually interconnected in a way such that we are nothing more than different parts of the same being. That makes me want to deal with other people's shortcomings as if they were my own, and I'm not a fan of punishing myself. That also means that if I am kind, I believe that the other person will also be part of that kindness.

I don't think I avoid difficult truths, but in Crow's case I did avoid him and in general I do avoid conflict if I can. No excuses there.
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[arbygil]

I think, too, that it's in the nature of an INFJ to avoid confrontation unless they've been trained or brought up to deal with difficult situations. Also, it's easier to let people "in charge" handle things when it gets too rough.

We're sensitive beings; we don't like people yelling at us and we don't like being in the middle of things we haven't yet processed in our heads. But if someone attacks a person we admire or are close or attacks a group we've sworn to protect, to you can bet we'll come out swinging.

 

[Whitefire89]

We're sensitive beings; we don't like people yelling at us and we don't like being in the middle of things we haven't yet processed in our heads. But if someone attacks a person we admire or are close or attacks a group we've sworn to protect, to you can bet we'll come out swinging.

Exactly

 

[Trifoilum]

Does anyone here agree with this? Do you think that INFJs have a way of ignoring the obvious? If so, why do you think we do it?

most of the times avoiding the obvious is a easy chore for different reasons. I'm usually gathering datas instead of trusting my hunch first, and then when I finallly had seen the truth; I usually went on to consider how it's related, how to use it, and how to do it as correct as possible compared to the situation, and to the outside world, that might be seen as inactivity. And sometimes it went to the procrastination area.

I guess I'm just that perfectionist.

 

[Reon]

Strive to avoid...

No..not really.

well as with me i tend to want to strive toward conflict but only to solve it.

I hear INFJ's are protectors.

I enjoy protecting others...therefore i put myself in the conflict.

I do the same, you can't always help people by just being a talking buddy and avoiding conflicts. Then again, my INFJness is contested.

 

[WellNoWonder]

Strive to avoid...

No..not really.

well as with me i tend to want to strive toward conflict but only to solve it.

I hear INFJ's are protectors.

I enjoy protecting others...therefore i put myself in the conflict.

I find myself doing this. There are certain situations I outright avoid. But I am known as somewhat of a Yorkshire terrior watchdog (because I'm so little lol). I am very loyal to my friends and the fire comes out if I see them being disrespected)

Part of starting to use Ti and Se more is to understand that sometimes there has to be a bit of conflict in order for peace to return. It's counter-intuitive, so we have a bit of a hard time with it at first. However, as we grow, it does become easier to do.

Thanks for this explanation. It clears up a lot for me. I do think as I grow, I am able to handle conflict better. I think a lot of it has to do with me being able to not to be so introspective on whether or not I'm going to hurt someone's feelings if I say what I think needs to be said.

Interesting topic, WNW. For me, when it comes to people, I think we are somehow spiritually interconnected in a way such that we are nothing more than different parts of the same being. That makes me want to deal with other people's shortcomings as if they were my own, and I'm not a fan of punishing myself. That also means that if I am kind, I believe that the other person will also be part of that kindness.

I don't think I avoid difficult truths, but in Crow's case I did avoid him and in general I do avoid conflict if I can. No excuses there.
Posted via Mobile Device

Now I just want to hug you. Please don't be squeamish. lol

We're sensitive beings; we don't like people yelling at us and we don't like being in the middle of things we haven't yet processed in our heads. But if someone attacks a person we admire or are close or attacks a group we've sworn to protect, to you can bet we'll come out swinging.

The wrath of the INFJ. What a sight to behold. And usually for VERY GOOD reasons.

 

[mooseman]

Now I just want to hug you. Please don't be squeamish. lol

Aww..