INFJs and feeling like you'll never find love | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

INFJs and feeling like you'll never find love

I have very, very high standards, but I've always known I would find someone who fits that, and fairly recently I have actually found someone who fits everything I've ever wanted in a girl exactly, and not just in terms of personality either, but everything else as well....it's pretty crazy, to be honest. Everything's going great, and we're very much in love with each other.:smile:
 
I'm just curious if anyone else out there sometimes (not all the time) feels hopeless about finding love.
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Hopeless... Hmm. I used to feel hopeless when I was 16. Now I just think that true love cannot exist, not because humans cannot love unconditionaly, but because the structure of the society I live in does not allow it to flourish. There are some exceptions, of course, but they are cases of a perfect match. So right now I just take for granted that my chances of finding true love are extremely low, and that it depends entirely on my luck to find such a person. Until then it's all about "attraction and tolerance" for me.

But what I'm afraid of the most, is actually being lucky enough to find that person, and avoid her out of suspicion.
 
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Eric, that's awesome!

I've never felt that I have high standards. I'm not really sure how to go about testing that though.
 
slant said:
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Love simply doesn't exist.

It's a matter of attraction and tolerance.

If the good outweights the bad, that's mostly what people get stuck with. This fairytale 'Prince Charming' or likewise 'FLY BITCHES' is a waste of time. Don't look for love, look for common interests and hot bods.
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man. at first i was like WTF.... but then I saw that you're an ISTP. Makes a little more sense now... I keep forgetting not everyone here is an INFJ.
 
I'd like to believe I'll find true love someday, but as I am, I don't believe that it will happen any time soon.
 
chaotic_lion said:
I'd like to believe I'll find true love someday, but as I am, I don't believe that it will happen any time soon.
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Bad bad bad bad!!! you ---->:m181:

That's exactly the defeatist mentality we play against ourselves that you've got to crush :m140:
You must destrooooooooy it!
 
Serious answer: Stop looking, it'll find you.
 
SH's words are truth. It's when you decide you don't give a shit, you'd rather do your own thing anyway--that you end up meeting someone amazing who fucks up all of your plans.
 
Silently Honest said:
Serious answer: Stop looking, it'll find you.
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Now that is even more cliche than what I said several posts back. That's like saying, "Count to three and don't think about sex...." (for example)

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What are you thinking about?

Uh huh.
 
Wyst said:
Bad bad bad bad!!! you ---->:m181:

That's exactly the defeatist mentality we play against ourselves that you've got to crush :m140:
You must destrooooooooy it!
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Damn, now I can't find true love because my face is swollen! Truly Wyst, you have to understand, it isn't a mentality, its a truth. I'm just unappealing to the opposite sex, its something I'm working on, though.
 
chaotic_lion said:
Damn, now I can't find true love because my face is swollen! Truly Wyst, you have to understand, it isn't a mentality, its a truth. I'm just unappealing to the opposite sex, its something I'm working on, though.
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Oh... sorry. I, too, apparently, am unappealing to the opposite sex...
It sucks...
 
Wyst said:
Now that is even more cliche than what I said several posts back. That's like saying, "Count to three and don't think about sex...." (for example)

1
2
3

What are you thinking about?

Uh huh.
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Or focus your attention on other things than love. Start implementing plans for things you're interested in and personal goals for yourself.
 
Its been helping me by being true to myself, and I try to smile and look people in the eyes more often. Could that help you?
 
Wyst said:
Now that is even more cliche than what I said several posts back. That's like saying, "Count to three and don't think about sex...." (for example)

1
2
3

What are you thinking about?

Uh huh.
Click to expand...

Well, if finding your soulmate or hell just a GF is something you think about as much as the act of sex itself, then you've already dug yourself into a hole, distracted by what you don't have, you miss the other things that make life awesome. It also throws you off of your game, and makes the whole courting game very awkward. Woman want a lot of odd things, in a mate, but the one thing they don't want is awkwardness. Live life for now, don't worry about what you don't have, and you'll find the quality of life increases, and so does how attractive you appear.
 
Silently Honest said:
Well, if finding your soulmate or hell just a GF is something you think about as much as the act of sex itself, then you've already dug yourself into a hole, distracted by what you don't have, you miss the other things that make life awesome. It also throws you off of your game, and makes the whole courting game very awkward. Woman want a lot of odd things, in a mate, but the one thing they don't want is awkwardness. Live life for now, don't worry about what you don't have, and you'll find the quality of life increases, and so does how attractive you appear.
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lol dude - you remember what I was like back in the fall of last year, don't you. man... i find myself at the time unattractive. lol!!!

edit: and no, i don't think about it as much as sex. I think about sex WAAAAAAY more. *chortle*
 
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Err going for the gay points right now...

You're not unattractive, you have a good job and are in excellent shape, and have a great personality and are twice as funny as I am in person, you're only problems that I've noticed are what I've already said. Also your voice is very charming and easy to listen too.
 
Silently Honest said:
Err going for the gay points right now...

You're not unattractive, you have a good job and are in excellent shape, and have a great personality and are twice as funny as I am in person, you're only problems that I've noticed are what I've already said. Also your voice is very charming and easy to listen too.
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You're talking to chaotic lion, right...? :m196:
 
chaotic lion is a girl.
 
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