Among my friends sometimes I'm the killjoy. Whenever anyone is about to do something dangerous - not stupid or silly - then I step in. I have my signature grandfather-like "No, you won't do that, John!" and my waving index finger.
INFJ - Why ENTPs scare me.
- Thread starter Gerard91
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Among my friends sometimes I'm the killjoy. Whenever anyone is about to do something dangerous - not stupid or silly - then I step in. I have my signature grandfather-like "No, you won't do that, John!" and my waving index finger.
I posted this on a different ENTP related thread. I really am not seeing ENTPs the way some other INFJ seem to be. Maybe Ive just met extremely healthy and mature ones.
I think a relationship between INFJ and ENTP is not the most ideal but could work very well. My ENTP and I grew apart eventually and moved on amicabaly but it was a great relationship while it lasted and we are still very close friends.
I think a relationship between INFJ and ENTP is not the most ideal but could work very well. My ENTP and I grew apart eventually and moved on amicabaly but it was a great relationship while it lasted and we are still very close friends.
As an ENTP myself, I I agree with almost all of Asarya's strengths and weaknesses. One thing I would say about character judging: I judge people well who are open/honest with me, or incapable of being deceptive. If people don't say what they mean, then I often don't pick on this. Once I've worked out what someone is really like, their lies won't fool me again though.
My own experience of INFJ's? Some of the nicest people I know, and some of the people I like best in the world. I find that I enjoy spending time with them, even if I don't have anything to say to them. I almost agree with them too much, and visa-versa, leaving us with nothing to talk about.
My own experience of INFJ's? Some of the nicest people I know, and some of the people I like best in the world. I find that I enjoy spending time with them, even if I don't have anything to say to them. I almost agree with them too much, and visa-versa, leaving us with nothing to talk about.
I already posted this once, so to abridge it: I'd rather deal with the reclusive, social ineptitude of the dysfunction "I" types than the Narcissistic, God Complexes of a dysfunctional ENTP. That's a no-brainer to me.
Well, being ENTP, I only have the very best experiences of INFJ's as both friends and partners, and my experience is that we supplement each other perfectly. I was in a relationship with two INFJ's and they were the most unproblematic relationships in my life, and if should run into one again, I certainly would go for it
. We NEVER argued, which is immensely weird, as jep, I do Love arguing and discussing everything. But I found myself at peace with INFJ partners, they secured the depth and direction and I stood for intellectual, cultural and social adventures highly appreciated by them, well as I see it match made in heaven. And we were not arguing because I just was getting my way, but their Fi side, considerateness and care we disarming me and made me actually listen and opened up my own F side (which otherwise doesn't happen that often). One of them later on became one of my my best friends. I'm a bit amazed reading this thread as some of the posts are almost on the verge of being bitter and a bit aggressive, never have experienced that with INFJ's before. And though I do recognize a lot of weaknesses mentioned as true, I can't identify myself (or other ENTP's I know) with the whole picture you get reading this thread. I would say that its only when smth go's seriously wrong that you find and ENTP running pointlessly around, being narcissistic and having no moral sense or compassion. That would be an ENTP with completely underdeveloped F side, exaggerated P side and super pronounced E, not that they don't exist, but... That is a simplification of our weaknesses, which does provide a caricature picture of some ENTPS, but I'm not sure it gives a nuanced and objective view of our type.
And well a good thing about out type is that we certainly are capable to grasp our own weaknesses, so rather then been scared, talk to us, and we'll try to make it work!
. We NEVER argued, which is immensely weird, as jep, I do Love arguing and discussing everything. But I found myself at peace with INFJ partners, they secured the depth and direction and I stood for intellectual, cultural and social adventures highly appreciated by them, well as I see it match made in heaven. And we were not arguing because I just was getting my way, but their Fi side, considerateness and care we disarming me and made me actually listen and opened up my own F side (which otherwise doesn't happen that often). One of them later on became one of my my best friends. I'm a bit amazed reading this thread as some of the posts are almost on the verge of being bitter and a bit aggressive, never have experienced that with INFJ's before. And though I do recognize a lot of weaknesses mentioned as true, I can't identify myself (or other ENTP's I know) with the whole picture you get reading this thread. I would say that its only when smth go's seriously wrong that you find and ENTP running pointlessly around, being narcissistic and having no moral sense or compassion. That would be an ENTP with completely underdeveloped F side, exaggerated P side and super pronounced E, not that they don't exist, but... That is a simplification of our weaknesses, which does provide a caricature picture of some ENTPS, but I'm not sure it gives a nuanced and objective view of our type.And well a good thing about out type is that we certainly are capable to grasp our own weaknesses, so rather then been scared, talk to us, and we'll try to make it work!
well, I guess ENTP's capacity for empathy and compassion would depend on two things:
1. Whether or not they have a well developed F side, and some of us do
2. Whether or not ENTP is aware of their strong T tendency
Its not that we don't have feelings or very strong feelings for that matter, but we tend to overrule them by our logic. But an ENTP being reflective of this tendency and its shortcomings (and that is perfectly understandable from rational point of view) can get in contact with and even allow oneself to be guided by their feelings, well, in combination with some reasoning though. And if you make sure that ENTP grasps the advantages of this approach they will work pretty hard to rediscover their feelings, hidden somewhere deep down
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I <3 ENTPs. ENxPs, really. For some reason IRL we get along quite well. I tend to pick up on the energy of people around me, and the energy (or whatever you want to call it) they project helps get me out of my shell. : )
There you go! Now you've got it! You're simply a cog in their grand mechanized vision. It's nothing personal.
I am an INFJ female, with an ENTP male. We have been together for nearly a year and it seems that I am running into this problem/question consistently.....wondering if I am a cog in his machine, rather, "is he using me?"? I ponder this for hours on end, with and with out him. My confusion and concern worn on my face is starting to wear him down, especially after he spends the time to explain to me all the ways he loves me . I'm not sure if i should take it personally, or open up to the idea that everyone keeps people around them to gain something in there life. Therefore being a cog in someones life ,maybe isn't bad(?)
ENTPs can love people very deeply---at the same time they can't shut off their utilitarian approach to everything. It takes some courage to love one.
I like ENTPs, but I'm probably not INFJ, so I suppose my opinion is not valid.
ENTPs- I have never been attracted to them, and I don't think I ever will be. To me, there is one friend in particular who always just comes off as cowardly and insecure, and "lawyerish". Because they see so many possibilities, they never really make any headway, and are quick to change their arguments. That being said, I've only known one or two from personal experience. Every time I see him he changes whatever he thinks based on what I say. I also don't like being his "externalized conscious" as he has the habit of seeing me as such. Probably my most annoying friend, and the one that I'm likely to hangout with only out of obligation.
The thing that annoys me the most is that he lingers forever, talking about stuff which is never resolved- he just keeps talking about new things. I like to talk about something philosophical and then come up with a plan of action- he doesn't do that and it drives me crazy. I recently found out that ENTPs are all about INFJs- but it doesn't seem mutual to me, ENTPs are overwhelming, and just generally over-stimulation for me. It's like drinking five cups of coffee and instead of doing something, just sitting there while my hands shake. I find it really draining. At least if there was some task or goal tied to the amount of talk- I'd feel like I'd accomplished something.
But, to talk about the pro's to having this friend- he is one of a few friends that actually keeps growing, and who is constantly trying to improve himself. So conversations with him can be nice, but only up to a point. He can bring in interesting metaphor, and has had the ability to show different perspectives. He is supportive, and he does try to be an active friend in my life, but he is one of the friends I keep at a distance. Partially because he is always so quick to change his positions- so I don't want to trust him with private information, and also because he is a shameless flatterer. The irony, is that in some ways he knows more about me than many of my friends, because he can trick or manipulate the conversations in such a way that I won't even realize that I am revealing information until afterwards.
I would never date ENTPs though, I don't trust them, and there is something that just comes off as really phony. I can tell he is a genuine person, he is who he is- I just don't really fundamentally trust a person that doesn't really have any morals.
In this sense, I prefer INTJs- they have moral causes, they are not overwhelming, they are more calming and once you've been dating for awhile, there is this great sense of dedication and rootedness.
ENTPs seem flighty, and like they might have some Napoleon complexes- I feel like they are never satisfied and always looking for something better. Or they see so many possibilities, that they are never content with what they have.
The thing that annoys me the most is that he lingers forever, talking about stuff which is never resolved- he just keeps talking about new things. I like to talk about something philosophical and then come up with a plan of action- he doesn't do that and it drives me crazy. I recently found out that ENTPs are all about INFJs- but it doesn't seem mutual to me, ENTPs are overwhelming, and just generally over-stimulation for me. It's like drinking five cups of coffee and instead of doing something, just sitting there while my hands shake. I find it really draining. At least if there was some task or goal tied to the amount of talk- I'd feel like I'd accomplished something.
But, to talk about the pro's to having this friend- he is one of a few friends that actually keeps growing, and who is constantly trying to improve himself. So conversations with him can be nice, but only up to a point. He can bring in interesting metaphor, and has had the ability to show different perspectives. He is supportive, and he does try to be an active friend in my life, but he is one of the friends I keep at a distance. Partially because he is always so quick to change his positions- so I don't want to trust him with private information, and also because he is a shameless flatterer. The irony, is that in some ways he knows more about me than many of my friends, because he can trick or manipulate the conversations in such a way that I won't even realize that I am revealing information until afterwards.
I would never date ENTPs though, I don't trust them, and there is something that just comes off as really phony. I can tell he is a genuine person, he is who he is- I just don't really fundamentally trust a person that doesn't really have any morals.
In this sense, I prefer INTJs- they have moral causes, they are not overwhelming, they are more calming and once you've been dating for awhile, there is this great sense of dedication and rootedness.
ENTPs seem flighty, and like they might have some Napoleon complexes- I feel like they are never satisfied and always looking for something better. Or they see so many possibilities, that they are never content with what they have.
Tin Man
"a respectable amount of screaming"
While ENTPs can be be fun and interesting people, I really want to murder them sometimes. Even my INTJ death stare doesn't seem to warn them that I'm close to the edge.
Sometimes it seems like fun to push someone as much as you can. Sometimes I get that Uh Oh moment when I've gone too far. It is almost like a game to see if you are good enough to find the spot or build the tension and then be able to do something that disarms it. I mean....yea....I know what you mean.....
Edit: I once pestered someone with comments that they didn't care about me or love me until they said they did then I told them not to get all mushy on me. I once told someone that the only thing saving them from being like a dude from Jersey Shore was the fact he was intelligent otherwise he would be a Situation Clone. Truthfully, I only interact this way with people I care about on some level.
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