INFJ out of work

Altruistic Muse

Altruistic Muse

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Do any other INFJs hate being idle? More than that, do you hate not having an externally enforced structure to your day? When I started university it was the first time in my life where there was very little to do, a vast expanse of spare time, and no particular reason to motivate myself. I really struggled. Most of the way through university I experienced bouts of depression. It was difficult for me to make a dayplan for myself, because I knew it wasn't compulsory, and that no one else really cared whether I went to the library or not. I didn't do particularly well at uni! When I did my Masters I fared much better, because I was working part-time and studying full-time. Go figure!

At present, I am (still!) waiting for character checks to come through before I can start work. It has been nearly a month now, which is ridiculous, and for the first few weeks I kept busy. However, for the last week or so, I have run out of any desire to be active. Also, all my old demons have started creeping up on me. I am feeling anxious about money, anxious about my relationship, feelings of jealousy are arising... all of the worst aspects of my personality come into play when I am idle! Can anyone else relate? I am a Christian, and I enjoy praying and reading the Bible normally, and meditating sometimes. I don't feel like doing any of these. Terrible.
 
It is difficult to live up to expectations. I would suggest you find a way to realize that you are okay, wonderul and great even if you aren't doing anything at all. Anxiety is your minds way of telling you that it is upset about something internal. Your external activites have nothing to do with it. Look inside for your answers.
 
You know sometimes you just want solid, simple advice? Thanks, I appreciate it, you're totally right.
 
Altruistic Muse said:
Do any other INFJs hate being idle? More than that, do you hate not having an externally enforced structure to your day? When I started university it was the first time in my life where there was very little to do, a vast expanse of spare time, and no particular reason to motivate myself. I really struggled. Most of the way through university I experienced bouts of depression. It was difficult for me to make a dayplan for myself, because I knew it wasn't compulsory, and that no one else really cared whether I went to the library or not. I didn't do particularly well at uni! When I did my Masters I fared much better, because I was working part-time and studying full-time. Go figure!

At present, I am (still!) waiting for character checks to come through before I can start work. It has been nearly a month now, which is ridiculous, and for the first few weeks I kept busy. However, for the last week or so, I have run out of any desire to be active. Also, all my old demons have started creeping up on me. I am feeling anxious about money, anxious about my relationship, feelings of jealousy are arising... all of the worst aspects of my personality come into play when I am idle! Can anyone else relate? I am a Christian, and I enjoy praying and reading the Bible normally, and meditating sometimes. I don't feel like doing any of these. Terrible.
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I did not work for four months after I retired...I got SOOOOOO bored I had to go to work. The first month or two was great but, after that, it got old.

Personally, I think we need something to do to keep us occupied whether it is a hobby, work or some artistic stuff.

The Christian monks rotated throughout each day between interior work and exterior work. That is, they pray the hours but then they go out and work and then go back at the set hour to pray the hours again. If you only focus on the interior part, you will get bored. If you only focus on work and the exterior part, you get tired - you need a balance of both, according to the monastic rule.
 
Ha, I have just been reading about the monastic life, very odd that you should mention it. The Benedictine monks, my favourite order, definitely do follow the lifestyle that you have outlined. This structured life of work and prayer actually appeals to me! There are other orders, though, such as the Carthusians, who simply pray all day, don't talk, don't work, barely sleep... again, I think these differences reflect the perspectives of different abbots on the way to achieve a healthy mind and body. Some think work is unnecessary, but I would find it a beneficial activity, and hard to give up too.
 
I'm studying in university right now and I have 0 motivation. I just want to grab a gun and shoot my head. :(
 
the13thmartian said:
I'm studying in university right now and I have 0 motivation. I just want to grab a gun and shoot my head. :(
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Aw shame!! I think trying to fill your time up makes it easier! So have a job, volunteer with kids or old people, and you'll probably feel like working more! I know how you feel though, sucks...
 
Actually, I work best when I have no schedule. Not everything is physically productive, but I get things done... even if it is just "straighten out my head".
 
My time is actually very filled up already but the problem is it's filled up with things I don't really enjoy doing. I'm happy when my day is filled up with things I am happy with.
 
Altruistic Muse said:
Ha, I have just been reading about the monastic life, very odd that you should mention it. The Benedictine monks, my favourite order, definitely do follow the lifestyle that you have outlined. This structured life of work and prayer actually appeals to me! There are other orders, though, such as the Carthusians, who simply pray all day, don't talk, don't work, barely sleep... again, I think these differences reflect the perspectives of different abbots on the way to achieve a healthy mind and body. Some think work is unnecessary, but I would find it a beneficial activity, and hard to give up too.
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Aren't Meister Eckhart and Hildegard Von Bingen Benedictine? I want to read some of Hildegard's visions and writings but I started off easy and am just reading a book about her health remedies and, because of reading it, I am going to try some spelt (grain) and am going to make some home made Parsley-honey wine (good for your heart according to Hildegard).

I agree with you - I cannot just do the contemplative life but also need to do some work or something.

Have you read the life of St. Anthony by Athanasius? Anthony ran into "acadia" (boredom) and, according to the story, an angel appeared to him and showed him that he needed to alternate between work and prayer.

Finally, did you get to see the weekly (I think) show that the BBC (?) put on called "The Monastery"? I watched a little on line and an American version of the same thing.

Even though I do not think I would make a good monk, I wold like to learn to incorporate some of the ascetic disciplines in my life.
 
i just quit my job last week. the weather has been fabulous and i got tons done around the house with time to spare to dig into some of the books i bought over the summer.
ok yeah, i'm starting to get bored, but only because i miss the pay check. and while some of you are in university, i'm at the pay the student loan or have my cat's legs broken stage of life.
so until i get my record of employment sent to me i'll look forward to another delicious autumn day. you only have today anyway. love it or lose it.
 
Oh, life can get pretty boring, even if you have a job, but nothing beside that, what is lately, more often than not, my case. Funny thing is, i always loved to have some time just for myself, to retreat to my room a dedicate myself to my thoughts, ideas, hobbies, in recent years mostly to read a stuff all around internet on topics, which i find momentarily interesting and want to know more about (currently - psychology :-)). But now i am finding out, sometimes i just cant find anything, which would spark my interest. I am desperate for some inspiration, because otherwise i feel i am just wasting my life. The truth is, most the info i absorb is going to be to me pretty much useless (in practical terms), its at best just another topic to talk to various people about (although that is always a good thing, it helps to connect with people, if you show some interest/knowledge in their interests, work, hobbies, etc...) - but i am doing this mostly to satisfy my curiosity and to self-improve myself, my knowledge of the world and life... and i do not mind it at all.

But as i said, sometimes i am way too bored, this summer it was almost unbearable - I even learned to fold origami, ffs :-)
 
If structure/expectations improve your self-esteem - go and volunteer in the office of some charity until you get a paid job. As you are Christian, this will only help what it is to be one.

I used to do this on school holidays and it was great. I worked full-time three days a week: it forced me to keep my shirts ironed and sharp; my shoes polished; my personal grooming in check. All kudos for healthy self-esteem.
 
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