INFJ males who are you attracted too? | INFJ Forum

INFJ males who are you attracted too?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Blind Bandit, Jul 17, 2009.

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  1. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    So I'm curious as an INFJ male what personality types do you go for when looking for date or SO. What attracts you to that person?

    I'm curious because I can't seem to figure out what type really attracts me.

    And because I see a lot of other types (ENTPs come to mind) go crazy for INFJ females). And I don't think INFJ males potential mates ever really get brought up. Or INFJ males for that matter.

    I'm also curious as to anyone who would like to share their experiences with us.

    I need the male viewpoint here.lol
     
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  2. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I like a hot bod.

    Seriously though, yes we are a bit ignored (and by a bit, I mean entirely, until now). Where are the ENTP females on this website? I haven't seen any.

    To be honest, I am attracted to many different types, most likely because I don't have enough experience to know what I like. I like or have liked INTJ, INFJ, ENFP, ESFJ, and several others I'm sure, but I don't know their types. The ESFJ might be a mistype though.

    I do not like ESTJ.

    Edit: I'd also like to meet a nice ENFJ sometime.
     
  3. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    As far as personality. I have learned that I want an ENTJ. I'm gay so I might throw a monkey wrench in the pattern, but should more or less still hold.

    I need someone who has a lot of direction and drive. I don't want some wishy-wahsy person who doesn't plan ahead. I also need someone who isn't an emotional bubble. I need someone who is more logical and 'hard'. Not insensitive, but someone who won't come crying to me if they are upset over something. I don't mind that now and then, but I don't want it to be at the front of things; I can't have someone that is touchy. I also need someone who is outgoing. Not a party animal social butterfly, but someone who isnt an introvert living in their own world. I also need someone who has the capcity to understand and appreciage Ni, with the abillity at the very least talk about Ni type things and be able to give feedback.

    I could not date a TP as they would bug me with their flightyness and cold logic, and I could not date a FP because of there easily punctured emotional space. A J is a big requirement.

    This boils down to ENTJ, and man do I want one.
     
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    #3 IndigoSensor, Jul 17, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2009
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  4. Hinsoog

    Hinsoog Community Member

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    As far as personality goes, really just someone thoughtful and who is excited by ideas and searching perspectives. I think though that for NFs, once we do actually find a genuine NT, and sort of start banging ideas around with one of them, it's just unbelievably great. It's perfect for compatibility in terms of someone being engaged by the basic way you are, and it also ends up being more rewarding. So there are a lot of types out there who will feel VERY attracted to any sort of NF, but then it becomes clear that for many of them, actually spending team beating around ideas with you in the way that you do, while still endearing for them, is ultimately something they just expect you to snap out of.

    I really believe that NF NF pairs can be pretty awesome(I have amassed some of my own evidence for this in personal experience), especially if they can be prepared for the problem of how, as Dr. Keirsey puts it in Please Understand Me, NFs can "get under eachothers skin", which is a bigger problem than it sounds like. Of course if both parties are well adjusted and have divergent enough interests to maintain that attracted and engaged feeling, I think it can do much more than just "work"...

    Oh, and I second the notion about staying away from ESTJs... *shudders* According to Socionics(I dont recommend reading them), INFJs and ESTJs are the best possible match. But really, I think that if any NF or NT values the use of their brain, they shoud just stear clear of ESTJs. They can come off as "logical" sometimes sure, but, yeah, just not thinkers...
     
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    #4 Hinsoog, Jul 17, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2009
  5. Tamagochi

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    Physically I'm attracted to a specific appearance and behavior combination. Emotionally I'm most comfortable with NF girls - specifically ENFJ and (surprise surprise) INFJ.
     
  6. myself

    myself Permanent Fixture

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    I've not had a lot of experience with many different girls, but in my time I have fallen hardest for the ESFJ.

    I am attracted to healthy, beautiful, nurturing, loving, inspiring people.

    I was in a relationship with an ENFP for a long time. We shared some amazing times, and although I miss her very much, I think that we worked better as friends than lovers. We were able to connect in so many spectacular ways, and I could have settled down with her, but I felt that a spark was missing.

    Recently this ESFJ girl I've been pining for burned me pretty bad. I will approach her and other girls like her with more caution from now on.

    But even as I am hurt by her, I feel I have the capacity to forgive, to love, and to desire her again and again. When I was with her I felt healthy, focused, happy, and balanced.

    I'm a jealous guy though and it is an issue because ESFJ's tend to have a lot of friends, and it's hard to watch them interact so well with other men. I know this jealousy problem can be overcome, and I can teach myself to not let those feelings get to me, but it is especially hard to control those feelings when I do perceive that another guy is quite successfully getting her attention, maybe flirting with her a bit.

    Regardless of what type a girl is, I need to feel that I can trust her enough to be completely emotionally open. I need to feel a strong physical/emotional attraction. I want us always to love and desire each other. I want us to be strong. I want her to be a good mother. I want to feel that our bond cannot be broken, no matter what difficulties we might face, because we are perfect for each other.
     
  7. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    no idea
    I dont know.

    I mean, my type just keeps changing. But I generally prefer someone who is fun to be around and can talk with freely. Good looks is definitely a must or reasonable ( call me superficial but hey )
     
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  8. Wyst

    Wyst Are you there?

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    I don't really have preferences .... other than no ST and no SF.

    On paper/forum, I get along really well with ENTPs, ENFJs, ENFPs, INTPs, INFPs, and INFJs (big surprise).

    I've not met enough people IRL and known their type - I suck at typing people - so I don't really know what types I'm attracted to IRL.

    MBTI seems like a great tool to aid in self-discovery/improvement. But for me to cross certain girls off my list just because their not a certain type... that just does make sense to me. People got on just fine without MBTI for hundreds and thousands of years - I don't see why I would need to base my attraction or chance of things working out with a woman on what type she is.

    That being said, I really enjoy other NFs. For me, two NFJs in a relationship my be too much J. Online, I really like the banter I've had with ENTPs - but IRL I tend to be more guarded and less open - so that bantering thing might not go so well IRL.

    I'm attracted to women that like some of the same things as me, have their own interests, need positive reinforcement (it's nice to feel needed/wanted) but not all the time, knows how to chill out with a good book and just be, but would also be able to draw me out of my shell and challenge me in some of the areas my personality and characteristics are weak.

    So what type does that sound like?
     
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  9. Puck

    Puck Perilous Pixie
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    Girls with brightly coloured hair and smiling eyes. It's like a spiritual attraction - an affinity - and even if it remains unspoken, the sight of such people always fills me with joy.
     
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  10. J. Cardigan

    J. Cardigan Community Member

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    I'm going to go with all of the cliches: good personality, sense of humor, and a nice butt.

    I don't go around looking for a specific type, since I feel that's pigeon-holing both myself and someone else. If I like someone then I like them, if I don't then I don't. I had a bad falling-out with a girl last year (or, rather, she had a bad falling-out with me), and she claimed to be INFJ/P. "I can feel what other people feel!"; that got annoying really quickly. Social cues and body language are not hard to pick up on, but apparently she thought she had magic powers.

    Nerdy girls are a huge turn-on, especially if they wear glasses <3. Video-gamers don't matter at all to me, unless by some grace of God she plays old PC games. If I can talk about System Shock or X-COM with a girl then I'd probably propose on the spot.
     
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  11. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    Socionics work on different principles in terms of cognitive functions, so an INFJ in MBTI might not be an INFj in socionics.

    Ni Fe

    In MBTI, since the judging function is extroverted (Fe), the person is Judging (INFJ)
    In socionics, since the dominant function is perceiving (Ni), the person is perceiving (INFp)

    Although how the functions work isn't always the same, and the systems are different, so you actually have to look at it as a different system in order to really place where you are.

    The INFp type, which correlates with the INFJ's function order, is best paired with ESTP, and has the most conflict with ESTJ
     
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  12. - Creatively inclined.
    - Empathetic of human emotions.
    - Liberal minded outlook on life.
    - High level of intelligence.

    You'd be surprised how hard it is to find all four of those in one person.
     
  13. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    You will be lucky to find 3.
     
  14. I'm usually lucky if I can find 1.
     
  15. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Well they all tend to run together.
     
  16. Azure_Knight

    Azure_Knight Community Member

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    It would be interesting to do a poll for INFJ males and see how they stack up against other types romantically. INFJ's just seem at a disadvantage in the west for some reason; perhaps it is only a misperception on my own part.
     
  17. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    No, that sounds about right, though I can't explain why rationally.
     
  18. Bored Now

    On Holiday

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    T'sk T'sk aren't you a cynical lot. The world is filled with girls...
     
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  19. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    The world- Yes. But I'm not in "the world". I'm in "THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA", and only relatively small portions of it too.
     
  20. Bored Now

    On Holiday

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    Then move about lover! I once traveled thousands of miles for love and never looked back, The world's a big place. *smooch* Don't mind me... I'm feeling romantic today.
     
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