INFJ: Gender differences | INFJ Forum

INFJ: Gender differences

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by Kwistalline, Jul 5, 2008.

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  1. Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

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    INFJ personalities have some basic similarities, share some basic values and ideals. How do we differ by gender, if at all? I've noticed a few things, but I'd like to hear what others think, first.
     
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  2. Inkling

    Inkling Community Member

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    The guys tend to be a little sensitive about their manliness. Which is almost a laughable irony... but it's very sweet, in a boyish way.
     
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  3. Silently Honest

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    :x
     
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  4. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    I don't know of too many differences.

    I think masculinity plays a part in emphasizing the "Protector" part of the INFJ personality as opposed to the "Confidant" part. INFJ males tend to protect ideas, beliefs, and people as opposed to being entrusted by people with private matters.

    INFJ is also an inherently feminine personality, Introversion, intuition, and feeling are all traits that are associated with being female. So I think males try to play up their weaker Ti function, which can translate to being extremely concise, being somewhat over analytical, and pointing out every perceived inconsistency. Whereas the females can overlook the details for the bigger picture they have in mind.
     
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  5. Silently Honest

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    I don't know about that, I do a pretty good job at both.
     
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  6. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    Well first, we all know you are a girly man. :p

    Second, I said "emphasize".
     
  7. Silently Honest

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    You've dishonered me.

    We must now duel, loaded revolvers, here is your weapon. Good luck.

    [​IMG]
     
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  8. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    Yay! I haven't seen a good duel in a long time!

    I work with an INFJ male and we've become close in a way I could not imagine with any other type. Because the INFJ male is so rare he is more than likely to only get 'silent understanding' from another INFJ female - which are also very rare! I would say that, to most other male types, the INFJ male, although likeable is to them 'a bit strange'. LOL And in watching my friend, well he's like a mirror for myself because people consider me quite peculiar too! So we learn a lot from each other because in our honest observations of each other we can find ways to improve our relationships with other people.
     
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  9. OP
    Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

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    That's interesting, b/c I have that kind of relationship with the husband of my BFF . . . he's the ENFP (which I am sooo not)
     
  10. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

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    And you know he's about the only one in my life right now that I do not have that 'fear of criticism'. I know whatever he says to help me is coming from a good place and his intentions are right. Is that how it is with your friend too?
     
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  11. OP
    Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

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    For the most part, yes. He appreciates me more than most, understands me, and is rarely critical. Others might thing he's making a judgemental statement, but we both know it's not meant that way. My BFF is sometimes jealous of our relationship. Sometimes she'll make comments of how we'd be a better couple. But he and I look at each other, smile, and go "nah". We are TOO alike. I don't want to marry a virtual cloned version of myself-only male, messy, and lazy. Who roots for the bad guys in almost every movie.
     
  12. sEth

    sEth Newbie

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    Right on!!! I do believe that to be somewhat of a positive and negative in myself. For instance I can detect the smallest change in others appearance and personality. And I mean SMALL. weight change, nail color, hair color, cologne/ perfume, soap smell, etc... I also have a fluency in reading other people. Its interesting in the guesses that can come out of intuition..

    positive: I find enjoyment in it negative: can be a total waste of time.

    but really is time ever really wasted... er you know what I mean.
     
  13. Motor Jax

    Motor Jax randomness included
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    on one point, he is emphasizing

    the second point is, well you've made your point clear and seems you are set in your ways. but antogonizing others about their own personal choices is nothing to be noble about. it is a hinderance to understanding. this isn't the first time i have seen this (Theology).

    you have passion, and passion is what protects the weak and makes for a debate for the greater good. but when wielded to your own agenda, seems selfish to say the least.

    between the lines of your well-put together debates are signs of aggression.

    Emotional Intelligence is much more important than IQ
     
  14. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
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    I agree with that wholeheartedly!
     
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  15. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    I can't tell. Am I getting chewed out? :mrgreen: I was only kidding in that case. I think even SH realized that because he replied in kind.

    As far as the rest, forgive me if I care too much what other people choose to believe, especially on issues from which I am far from detached. I try to provide warning when I may say something offensive, whether it be in the thread title, the OP, etc. You are welcome to provide examples where I have failed to do so and I will make amends. And yes, I will attack the choices the people make with all the strength in my body and mind, because those choices affect the lives of others, and I think it is important for them to understand that impact.

    Now if you think "the greater good" is served by passion, then I have news for you, passion is simply a strong emotional attachment. It exists regardless of motive and a person cannot control or invoke it by will. It is always there, and at best, it can only be suppressed when it is not appropriate to show it.

    Am I aggressive? I have no doubt that there are times I overstep the boundaries of civility when I have reached a point of distress and frustration, and I am often ruthlessly sarcastic and cynical in topics for which I have little sympathy. However, I don't necessarily think that is a bad thing. I care highly about maintaining harmony and protecting other's feelings, but I also care too much about my personal integrity to be anything but upfront and brutally honest about how I feel. Hence, why I try to warn others when I may say something that could be perceived as offensive.

    Now if I do cross a line, and begin to personally attack someone else out of spite, then I understand if I am reprimanded or action is taken against me.
     
  16. OP
    Kwistalline

    Kwistalline Permanent Fixture

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    I think I agree, Satya. Unchecked passion can be the means for destroying what you love the most.

    I think all INFJ's can be overly aggressive, especially in areas where we are sensitive. It does appear, and probably b/c of how society treats women in general, that the INFJ female has a better handle on expresssing this sensitivity. In other words, I think we express it, but I think we also do so without flaming others (for the most part, from what I've seen here).

    I have a question for the guys. When someone hits a sensitive area, do you respond right away, or do you take a minute to assess the situation to ensure that 1) you are reading it correctly, 2) if it actually might be true, and 3) if their perception of you has been distorted by others/circumstances? Do any of these apply when you respond back?
     
  17. sEth

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    When someone hits a sensitive area with me I always assess the situation before responding. I take route three most of the time and clarify the terms seeking a standoff or clear them of any wrong. It might be hard for another to know through confirmation that they have hit a sensitive area though. In other words: I use my intuition and E.S. to divert, lead or manipulate the conversation and/or person to less personal topics/areas. I dont know about other INFJs, males particularly... but I am very good at getting someones focus on what I want/need. :? Make sense?
     
  18. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    When people hit a sensitive area with me, I generally respond in the ways mentioned above. It's usually only when that same area is hit over and over and over again by the same person that I eventually reach a breaking point of frustration and distress. I suppose what I lack is impasse resolution or an ability to accept it when it is apparent that the opposing point of view is set in their ways.
     
  19. TheLastMohican

    TheLastMohican Captain Obvious
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    Type me.
    I scrolled down and saw that picture...LOL.
     
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  20. sriv

    sriv Community Member

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    Passion in debate?!?!?! :eek: Appeal to emotion is a logical fallacy.

    Bad for me, good for you. JK :lol:
     
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