I recently had a sort of mental clarity that made me realize something really important: I love people.(not that I didn't before, I just didn't realize the intensity) If people would accept it (the certain few that I like, as INFJs are apt to pick those "special" few) I would kiss them everyday, hug them, tell them they're great. I have no intention to hurt anyone, even strangers. Even if someone does something terrible to me (for example, this guy I used to see stole from me, another one texted my best friend while we were together, etc), I don't feel angry, I feel sad. So sad that someone could hurt me that way, because I could never, ever do that to them. I honestly just want to see people succeed, to be happy in life. But this comes to bite me in the ass a lot of times. I will understand your perspective, I will do what you want to do, I will help you at the drop of a hat, I will make sure you feel comfortable. I am ALWAYS aware of the souls around me because they all feel so tender and unique and fragile. I know that even the little things can affect the psyche. Even when I WANT to hurt someone, to manipulate, to destroy another because of pain they're caused me, I can't. I can't bring myself to hurt them. If I do, I will forever think about it. Even animals. I can remember killing a worm when I was only 7 and feeling god awful. It's their souls, they're even purer and more tender than humans'.
Hurting someone would be like hurting myself. I suppose the resentment stems from the fact that even when someone is terribly mean to me, I can't do anything about it. I know that if I reciprocate another negative action, that I will feel worse for hurting them, damaging them. So its this never-ending cycle of someone being mean, me understanding their meanness as something that has more to do with them than it does with me, and then me just casually moving on from the situation because I understand what went on, I am just so sad about it.
I really hope this makes some sort of sense. I've been typing this for a 1/2 hour or so, trying to put my crazy brain's ideas into words. I'm really just looking for a general discussion from my initial thoughts. Anything that you think or could contribute would really help, as I do love getting interesting conversations going.
Hurting someone would be like hurting myself. I suppose the resentment stems from the fact that even when someone is terribly mean to me, I can't do anything about it. I know that if I reciprocate another negative action, that I will feel worse for hurting them, damaging them. So its this never-ending cycle of someone being mean, me understanding their meanness as something that has more to do with them than it does with me, and then me just casually moving on from the situation because I understand what went on, I am just so sad about it.
I really hope this makes some sort of sense. I've been typing this for a 1/2 hour or so, trying to put my crazy brain's ideas into words. I'm really just looking for a general discussion from my initial thoughts. Anything that you think or could contribute would really help, as I do love getting interesting conversations going.