How to confess | INFJ Forum

How to confess

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Satya, Aug 12, 2009.

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  1. Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    So you find somebody you like and you are ready to tell them that you have feelings for them so that you can progress to the next stage. How do you do it? Is there a special romantic way you would do so? Are you blunt or subtle? What has worked for you in the past?


     
    #1 Satya, Aug 12, 2009
  2. Eniko

    Eniko May snark if provoked
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    I tend to be pretty blunt and just come out and say I like them. No special method to it or anything!
     
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    #2 Eniko, Aug 12, 2009
  3. alcyone

    alcyone
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    What kind of vibe are you getting from the other person?
     
    #3 alcyone, Aug 12, 2009
  4. Quite8the8Bell

    Quite8the8Bell Newbie

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    I'm young and have not had much experience, but, I always tell the person because if I don't, I am distracted from what I usually do and I'm very blunt about it. I just come out and say it. Every time the person has remained my friend.
     
    #4 Quite8the8Bell, Aug 12, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2009
  5. OP
    Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    Let's say its an indistinguishable vibe. They could be into you or not.
     
    #5 Satya, Aug 12, 2009
  6. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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    I am having about the same troubles right now. :m167:

    Maybe you should just pounce on them, rip there clothes off then give them a back rub.
     
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    #6 Lucifer, Aug 12, 2009
  7. OP
    Satya

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    As fun as that might be I fear that might send the wrong message in most cases.
     
    #7 Satya, Aug 12, 2009
  8. alcyone

    alcyone
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    Well my next question is how much do you value this persons presence in your life. Are they a good friend?

    Because broaching the 'I like you do you like me back' conversation is a one way street. It may be that if the other person likes you as a friend, but not as a love interest, they may be uncomfortable in your presence after you confess the attraction.

    Or you may be uncomfortable being just friends with someone you'd prefer a deeper relationship with.

    On the other hand, one of my biggest regrets was in not making my interest known and keeping myself at the 'friend' distance. I believe that my life would be very different had I taken the chance all those years ago.

    In the end, it's better to love and lose, than to never allow yourself the opportunity.
     
    #8 alcyone, Aug 12, 2009
  9. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    Ah the dilemma....

    As an ENFP, Satya, how would you like someone to express their feelings to you? The girl I like is an enfp. Or maybe type is irrelevant. I could probably wax lyrical about how much I care for her if I let myself but I have no idea how she'll react. I'm terrified she'll say "I like you as a friend". I guess it's gotta be done though.
     
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    #9 Orion, Aug 12, 2009
  10. OP
    Satya

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    Hm...I think direct is about the only way that would work for me. I tend to view myself as a wishful thinker so if someone were to subtlety hit on me, the moment I became aware of it I would dismiss it as just wishful thinking on my part. I also hate those games people try to play.
     
    #10 Satya, Aug 12, 2009
  11. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    So like, by direct, we're talking about just going up to them and saying something like: "I like you, wanna go out sometime?" Because I can do that.
     
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    #11 Orion, Aug 12, 2009
  12. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    I usually just ask questions like "hey, where do you see this going?" or "What are you expecting from this?" Usually that gets the ball rolling.
     
    #12 Billy, Aug 12, 2009
  13. OP
    Satya

    Satya C'est la vie
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    Yup.

    Now I just need to have the courage to do the same.
     
    #13 Satya, Aug 12, 2009
  14. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    It depends on the person. Is it a person you can be blunt with or would they find that a major turn off? I think most people you can be blunt with.
     
    #14 Faye, Aug 12, 2009
  15. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    What are stages? I agree with lucifer.
     
    #15 Shai Gar, Aug 12, 2009
  16. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    I don't :/
     
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    #16 gloomy-optimist, Aug 12, 2009
  17. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    I can accept that. You're different people.
     
    #17 Shai Gar, Aug 12, 2009
  18. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    Lol, not that I don't agree with Lucifer -- that I don't address a person I like.

    Although I don't think pouncing would be in all cases effective
     
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    #18 gloomy-optimist, Aug 12, 2009
  19. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    It is for someone as oblivious as I.

    A good pounce tells me a lot.
     
    #19 Shai Gar, Aug 12, 2009
  20. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I write them a poem... then again, it's a cowardly way of half-assed owning up to my feelings; a good way to say something without actually saying it.. (sigh.)
     
    #20 acd, Aug 12, 2009
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