How many relationships have you been in? | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

How many relationships have you been in?

How many?

  • 0

    Votes: 12 14.0%

  • 1-2

    Votes: 30 34.9%

  • 3-4

    Votes: 26 30.2%

  • 5+

    Votes: 18 20.9%
  • Total voters
    86
That's good! But how exactly did he develop his F side? Or did you just happen to rub off on him eventually?
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I would say that about 50% of it is an ambient "rubbing off" of F, the way us humans tend to unconsciously emulate those around us in order to better connect with them. The other 50% is through hard-won exercising of his F side... His incentive being to better communicate and mesh with me (and mine likewise). I remember in the beginning we would have ridiculously drawn-out tear filled (on my part) "talks" ...now we actually talk about things...like with words. =P And, on the flip side, it helps that we've become comfortable with one another to the point that he feels like HE can shed a tear or two when he is deeply touched or upset (as very rare event, but it has happened a few times ;).
 
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21.) Michelle.
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This thread reminded me of Mambo #5. Yeah, the kind of guy your mom warned you about. LOL
[video=youtube;uz4eHPD40w4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz4eHPD40w4[/video]
 
Okay, I'm just going to say I haven't been in one. I tried to have one with a girl in high school, which lasted about a month and 1/2. We were not allowed to see each other or even talk on the phone (because of her highly religious father), and some of her friends helped keep us apart as well. That is why I said 1/2 a relationship. I usually just say I've never been in a real relationship, and by that I mean I've never been with a girl that I could actually talk to, spend time with, have sex, etc. and also do things with other people as a couple.
 
2
 
Real - 1.5

Imagined - hundreds!
 
I've been married to my INFJ for 35 years, so before her, everything is a bit hazy. I was lonely in graduate school so I developed an alternate persona to overcome my INTP reticence--sex is a powerful motivator. I don't remember the women too well, but I had a lot of fun. Once I met my wife, though, that was it. I've been hopelessly monogamous ever since.
 
I am typically good for one long term relationship a decade. I have to pace myself since I am only 42, maybe I'll allow another one in a couple of years.
 
Sonya said:
I am typically good for one long term relationship a decade. I have to pace myself since I am only 42, maybe I'll allow another one in a couple of years.
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I hope you find a really good one soon, but this person should come from the Northwest, where you belong.
 
One, but I only had 3 crushes, so it isn't that a bad number. ^^"" (I hope.....)
From age 17 to 20, lasted 3 years, the last 2 year was a long distance relationship.
Aside from the fact, that the last year was horrible, damaged me emotionally, because I was too stubborn to end it. I have learned quite much during that time about myself, and about relationships in general, so I'm thankful to she. Since that... first, I didn't even wanted to hear about going out with anyone. Now it's simply the fact, that I will move next year that makes me think it would be pointless. My co-workers don't get this, but in my honest opinion, I wont start a relationship, if I know it will end.
Actually, after my calculations, I don't want to start a relationship in the next 5 years, except if we have the same plans for the future, and my partner would accept my need for "private space". ("Private space" for me: I can go to the lectures, exhibitions, and other extra stuff which my studies desire.)
But I still have time. :3
 
that's how many

images
 
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Let's see. I answered "3-4" but maybe you can barely call them "relationships"

First, I dated a college chick in an online MMRPG game (Ultima Online) when I was 11. I just pretended to be 22. She desperately wanted to call me but I came up with all kind of excuses to dodge her calls. We were having "cyber sex" in game but I don't think I felt any love because I was probably too young. I just played along since I thought it was fun.

Then when I was 17, some random girl from a violin forum I participate added me on MSN messenger. She pursued me so I fell in love with her. It was great because I actually felt I was in-love. We were "together" for roughly 2 months. I met up with her 2 years later (from Canada to Belgium) but that's another story.

Finally, few months later after my break up, I dated a girl from my summer job so this is the only real life experience I have. We began dating right before I went to college so it was Long Distance Relationship again. We broke up again in 2 months.

Now I'm 22, I still have yet kissed anyone. Different girls have kissed me on the cheek though.


Sometimes I don't understand why. I'm quite decent looking and charming so I don't have a big problem attracting girls. However, things will start to go bad whenever I'm 100% sure they are into me. Probably due to my "idealism", I will start to notice "flaws" and even some trivial things they do will irritate me and make me moody.


After so many years of being single, I sometimes start to wonder "why would she like me?" whenever a girl shows interest. I sometimes will think they just like me for the fake persona I put out and they will not like the real me hidden behind that mask.

Fortunately, I've decided that I will open to love again since last month. I hope the change of my mindset will set me to the right path.
 
[MENTION=3096]Sonya[/MENTION]
You're 42?! If that's you in the pictures, you don't look it.



And I've been in zero relationships. I've tried a few times, it's just never really worked out for me.
 
One.
 
[MENTION=4749]johnkim[/MENTION]

Sounds like my life, only with less cyber-sex. Closing myself to love and relationships, embracing hopelessness, and rejecting everyone who shows even the slightest interest has actually made me a much happier person. All that stuff is too messy to deal with. It turns me into someone I don't want to be.
 
subwayrider said:
[MENTION=4749]johnkim[/MENTION]

Sounds like my life, only with less cyber-sex. Closing myself to love and relationships, embracing hopelessness, and rejecting everyone who shows even the slightest interest has actually made me a much happier person. All that stuff is too messy to deal with. It turns me into someone I don't want to be.
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Hi Subwayrider,

I actually feel the opposite. I had two polar opposite thoughts: one desired love and another rejected love similar to the reasons you've listed.

The rejection of love was not my true desire. Instead, it was more of a coping mechanism to avoid cognitive dissonance. If I tell people or myself that I don't need love because it's messy and takes too much time,then I don't have to feel bad or embarrass about my single situation because I "chose" it.

By closing off, I felt like a robot. Sure, I didn't feel the potential pain associated with love but I also didn't feel any happiness. I went through every day like a robot because I learned to turn my emotions off.

However, recently I rediscovered that it actually feels GOOD to feel love again, even in the form of having a crush which I didn't have for years. By explicitly telling myself that I will love again, my subconscious makes me do things that will potentially put me in a relationship. I realized I remained single the past few years despite interest from others is because I wasn't ready. Since I was closed off my emotionally, I didn't have any strong desire to act. Eventually, the girls got tired and moved on.

But since I opened to love again, I realized it's a very powerful motivator to make me do things. I'm having a mini-crush on a girl in my class right now. I actually wanted to attend class just to see her. I also checked her Facebook profile few times which I've never done to any other girl because I couldn't care less. Now I'm thinking about asking her to help me to buy some new clothes since she's interested in fashion design, and I'm having a STRONG desire to act on this thought. Thoughts and actions like these have not occur in years!


I guess if you really want to be in a relationship, you need to stay consistent with your thought. You can't say you don't need love while secretly desiring love because it won't come. Even the love is next to you, you won't see it or attempt to catch it.
 
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[MENTION=4749]johnkim[/MENTION]

I don't disagree with what you said, but at this point in my life I am just not ready for love or relationships. I know that, when I'm ready, I'll open up to it again, and I'll feel all the warm feelings that come from simply entertaining the possibility of love... and hopefully, when the time comes, it won't just be mere possibility, but the real thing. At this moment, and for some time to come, I'm too affected by my recent experience to feel like it will work out with anyone-- or at least, anyone I currently know.
If I happen to meet someone who just about knocks me off my feet, someone I feel an instant and deep connection with (it's happened to me once in my life) that might do it. Anything short of that isn't going to bring me out of this.
I think for me it's a matter of meeting just the right person.

Best of luck with your fashion girl. I know you'd be happy ;)
 
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