How does one make a friend? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

How does one make a friend?

Melkor said:
No really. I'm curious to know.

I ask because, while I enjoy a lot of time alone, I'm starting to feel as though I'm 'wasting' my youth by not being even a
littl
e outgoing.

Particularily interested in a 'how to' for an Academic enviroment.

During my part time job I be relatively social, and communicate fairly frequently.(Despite my reputation as depressed/unhinged/odd)

Though in University I have literally spoke to no-one, save for when necessary (group work), and no-one seems to speak with me.
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Well, since I did offer to adopt you I'll tell you the same things I tell my sons:

1. Don't bite people
2. Share your toys (and others will share theirs!)
3. Don't pick your nose

:kiss:

(Joking!)

Seriously, you seem to be quite approachable to me. Looking back on my college (university) days, things were still unsettled and difficult, and it isn't the easiest environment for someone whose idea of a good time does not involve massive parties. Your idea of joining the clubs (fencing, etc.) is a great one! You really have to cultivate friendships if you want them -- it sounds lame but to have a friend, be a friend... I am 100% confident you will have no problems.
 
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Melkor said:
No it's not Chazz, I went to Manchester, walked around, seen a football match, got two trains and a plane home, all in one day!:D
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I'm currently getting enough problems travelling to Calgary to see my girlfriend. I'm not going to go through this again to see some depressive, socially inept, Irish kid.
 
I'd hang out with you Melkor, all of my friends are former high school misfits from all over. For the most part they always began the conversation with me first and I didn't shrug em off, that is the biggest thing I think...if they approach give them a chance. If they prove themselves to be peckerwoods by all means give em the boot, but I think most people are decent folks at heart...if not a bit misguided by their past experiences.
 
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Ask people you would like to be your friends out on dates... if it works out ask em out on more dates...
 
if you're a smoker, it's easy cos you just ask 'em for a light!

but don't take up smoking just do to this!
 
No, I don't smoke, and I don't intend to, but I do realise the social context of smoking and envy it!

And Shai, I'm not ginger, just a wee bit brown/blonde/orange.
 
Get a joke book, every one loves a good joke.(especialy for an icebreaker in the conversation)
 
Barnabas said:
Get a joke book, every one loves a good joke.(especialy for an icebreaker in the conversation)
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Depends on the joke and the situation though. Beware of sensitive joke topics.
 
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you've gotta be interested in them, and open about yourself.. treat people as you'd want them to treat you (sound's cliche but it's good advice)
 
One thing that I find works well:

Exorbitant sums of
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When you lose it all, friends are the ones that stick around. :D
 
NeverAmI said:
One thing that I find works well:

Exorbitant sums of
1-721492.jpg


When you lose it all, friends are the ones that stick around. :D
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hehe reminds me of this guy in high school who used to buy everyone drinks, they still hated him :|
 
April said:
hehe reminds me of this guy in high school who used to buy everyone drinks, they still hated him :|
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Yea, but what if he bought them each a mercedes?
 
NeverAmI said:
Yea, but what if he bought them each a mercedes?
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lol they would've taken the mercedes and still hated him :p i think they hated the fact he gloated about being rich
 
April said:
lol they would've taken the mercedes and still hated him :p i think they hated the fact he gloated about being rich
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Ah yea, that is never fun! If I buy you a mercedes will you be my friend? I promise not to gloat. :D
 
NAI, I'll let you buy me three Mercedes, just because I'm a nice guy.
 
mf said:
NAI, I'll let you buy me three Mercedes, just because I'm a nice guy.
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I will buy you a melted popsicle and YOU WILL LIKE IT!
 
At university eh?
Well I think that I could give you some advice on that...I found that it was easier for me to strike up conversations will people in my tutorials (one on one), and initiate hanging out, especially if we had a break together. Most people are up for this, because they're also looking to make new friends.

Also, I agree with other people about joining groups-a common interest makes it easier to make friends, and because it's often a more relaxed atmosphere than classes, I find that people are generally more open about interacting with others.

Another note is that not everyone you hang out with will become a friend...I find that sometimes you don't really have that much in common, so you sort of remain more as acquaintances. (A good thing is that if you find you don't really get along with someone, it's much easier to avoid them, unlike high school!)
 
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