How do you respond when crushed upon??

Heh.

First i was imagining stampedes (being crushed underfoot).

I read your thread, and was surprised by it. You're very, very cute Ender; I find it highly unlikely that nobody has ever had a crush on you. Maybe you just didn't realize, as your sister suggested.

I feel confident (but not overconfident) in saying I'm aware of at least as many times someone has had an (unrequited) crush on me as I've had on others. Of course, I'm a bit older than a lot of you and have had more time for this sort of thing.

If someone I didn't know well had a crush on me, or if it was a rumor, I would probably do nothing. If someone I did know - and had some reason for interacting with - had a crush on me, I would have gently made my intentions clear. I never liked being strung along, so I wouldn't do the same to someone else. This option (directly and kindly addressing crush) wasn't in your poll, but it's what I would have chosen

 

Crushes on me don't happen too often. Mostly I find that people my age are intimidated by me, I get told that a lot. But when people do crush on me, I just let them.

The only thing I don't like is when people point on: "Oh so and so seems to like you Ruby...a lot. You guys going to go out?" Just because I treat them friendly doesn't mean we're hitting it off. I'm comfortable having lots of close friends.

If I liked someone, that person would know. I'm pretty direct. And if someone was crushing on me that I felt was trying to take it to the next level and I wasn't digging it, I'd tell them I wasn't feelin' it.

 

2006
Her: I think you're kinda cute.
Me: Ew, why?

Later that year different girl:
Her: Everyone here so fake but you're normal, I like you
Me: hehe, yeah I'm normal!

2007
Her: I have boyfriend but I bet you can take him he's a pansy. *stares*
Me uncomfortably: hehe...eeh.


2008:
Her: Motorboat time!
Me:Woohoo! blubblbublblbub-

Later that year different girl
Her: Want to be F*ck buddies
Me: *moral highground stuff about not being able to have sex without some form of attachement.*


I'm either oblivious, asexual, or a jerk.

 

If someone has a crush on me but it is unrequited I usually feel extremely guilty. I panic because I know what it is like to be turned down and I don't want to make anyone feel that way. If they do nothing I will do nothing. But everytime I'm nice to them and their face lights up I get a huge rush of guilt. But how else can you respond? I couldn't be horrible to someone just to put them off me and ignoring them isn't right either.

As soon as they take the plunge and tell you how they feel you should let them down gently. DON'T say "lets just be freinds" even if you mean it. Just tell them you don't see them that way and then pretend nothing has happened. Depending on the type of person you are dealing with you may either carry on being freinds or wake up one morning with a horses head in your bed. 'tis risky business

 

You're really not.

 

I have never noticed anyone 'crushing' on me, and if I did, it would probably be the type of girl that I'd love to have as a friend but would never date due to personality differences. I have had occasions, like slants, where people assume your going out with a person just because your hanging ou with them.

Haha, maybe it's because I never shown interest to anyone I actually 'liked'

Edit: Silently Honest: Ya for morals, you did the right thing.

 

I wish I could disguise when I like someone. It's painfully obvious. I'll have a discussion with someone about Religion or something, and immediately start discussing the conversation I had with 'so and so' and how their opinions on things are amazingly fresh and how 'so and so' is logical and 'so and so' thinks outside of the box and how 'so and so' and I have had really interesting debates. Maybe that should be a different thread. How do you act when you like someone? =D

Edit: It is, http://www.forum.infjs.com/showthread.php?t=328

 

The only real 'difference' that I have when I like someone, other than hanging out with then more and paying more attention to them, is that I start to pick up little phrases that they say and incorporate them into my pattern of speech. I might be more inclined to bring my person of interest up if most of my friends didn't dislike much, to all, of my other friends.

 

I'm either extremely oblivious, or there have been very, very few crushes on me.

But:

Yeah. What he said.

 

Crushes? On me? :faint: Never happens.

There's just one time I remember, in middle school, that a guy I sort of knew asked me out. I said no. According to my sister, I'm not supposed to be that direct when turning people down. Oops. :whistle: Honestly, though, I have no idea what I'd do if a friend confessed to me. I'd be inclined to keep treating them as usual, I suppose. I wouldn't know what else to do. I certainly wouldn't see it coming.

I've done that with people I don't have a crush on

 

yea, i've been crushed on... i kinda knew those times though...

(love the word Limerence, btw Ender... i haven't heard that word in a long while...)

but much of the time, i do nothing... i smile, act cordial, entertain their infatuation but only in the capacity of a friend...

cause almost immediately, i would see things about there personality that really becomes noticeable...

in an advanced navy school in 2000, there was an older chick i really enjoyed talking with simply because we talked about all kinds of things...

when i say older, i mean she was about 4 years from retiring... she was 40, married...

the first things we talked about were the differences between the lifestyles of the North and the South (she was from DC, and me from Deep South)... out loud in front of the class no less (cause there were others from Georgia and the Deep South themselves)...

but one day, i was pulling one of my silly antics in front of the class (cause i love to make people laugh)... and she blurts out "Will, I love you" with a smile on her face and in front of the class...

i blushed, the class got quiet... we never were past friends though.. she made an awesome friend...

but 6 yrs later, we were working... i was working at where she was going to retire from... (she enlisted for an additional 2 yrs)...

and we would have more in-depth conversations...

for some reason, she knew what my personality was though... so i asked her, and she told me she has a phD in psychology and knew i somewhat unique to everyone else... she didn't know what it was, but i asked her if she knew about MBTI and she told me that she had covered a time or 2 but didn't really get in-depth with it...

anyways, i knew she didn't really have a crush on me... as i was married to my (1st)ex the first time in school.. and to my (2nd)ex when we worked together... she was also married...

i've had other times also where it was made apparent by me that i was being infatuated upon...

but no, i really don't do anything...

 

Avoiding that one was a good idea.

Ender... Not a clue why that girl ran, it sounded like she wanted you.

 

like Poetic Justice I tend to feel guilty for making the other person suffer... Not a nice feeling.

 

Yeah! Another INFJ who likes football!.....Or are you referring to soccer?

 

SO you were referring to Philly.