How do you handle constructive criticism? | INFJ Forum

How do you handle constructive criticism?

Discussion in 'Education and Careers' started by kfg(atj, Dec 4, 2017.

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  1. kfg(atj

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    A few questions here:

    How do you handle constructive criticism from a higher up or from a colleague?

    Do you get stressed easily at work?

    On a team, are you the Positive Pat or Negative Nelly?

    Are you happy in your career choice?
     
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  2. Ginny

    Ginny Idiot Savante

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    It's probably not helpful of me to answer, as I am still out of a job, but I'd put it like this:

    1. Opportunity for change, if the criticism is meant to be constructive and if it is founded at all. I was once almost thrown out because I seemingly wan't open towards other people. I was neither taken up on that before, nor warned about it being a fireable offense. Besides, I considered myself very friendly, up to a point. Back then I was of the firm belief that I should treat other people as I am treated by them. Gosh, that changed a lot.

    2. Depends on the work. If it is time-sensitive I get more easily stressed. I am often the device of my own demise by putting too much stress on myself, which in turn makes me bitch others around because I am doing more/better work than them. When there is something I can put my brain to, then I get stressed less often/easily. Sometimes I don't even notice time passing because I am so engrossed in my work.

    3. It depends on what is needed. If there are too many people who are unrealistically optimistic, I can be the negative counterpart. And likewise the other way around. Most times I keep to the background, though.

    4. Let's see what comes of it. Thus far, it's looking good.
     
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  3. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    I am now. Again, since leaving corporate and going freelance office support I'm much happier. My own business is run at my own pace. I never allow clients to dictate how I work now.
     
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  4. Lady Jolanda

    Lady Jolanda Corrupt AF.
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    You can be sure I over analyze it for days, lose all confidence and may get panic attacks or nightmares.
    Honestly, I'm my own worst critic, I don't need anyone else for that.

    That entirely depends. If I'm left mostly to my own devices, have the freedom to come up with my own solutions to problems, get appreciated for the ideas and implementations I offer, and there is enough room for laughter and 'being yourself' at work, no stress at all.
    If my talents aren't appreciated, or I help someone but get taken for granted, or I need to waste my precious time with following protocol... :rage::triumph:

    I can be both. I'm good at the Belbin team roles of Plant and Monitor. Either way, you can expect me to open my mouth and contribute.

    Not sure. I'm currently unmotivated and bored. However, I'm not sure if that would be better in another field, or if that's just my personality. Forever chasing rainbows.
     
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  5. Ren

    Ren Pin's android / The Maker

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    I don't handle criciticism very well, in the sense that I have to make an extra effort to "digest" it. But I have certainly become better over the years.

    Every time I feel that little burn, I simply tell myself: "taking this into account will make you improve, it will bring you to a point further than you where before you got the criticism." So I see it as a win-win game: either the criticism is rather positive, and I improve; or the criticism is rather negative, and I actually improve as well. This is my perspective and it helps me a lot. But the perspective itself has to be "big picture".
     
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  6. OP
    kfg(atj

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    I struggle with taking criticism from people I need to continue interacting with in an otherwise positive way. When someone tells me I’m not meeting their expectations in an isolated incident but am exceeding expectations in other areas without notice, I will quickly become discouraged. I certainly don’t need a pat on the back, but when only mistakes or missteps are verbally being addressed as if it’s the only worthy action of discussion or attention, my entire demeanor can change in the workplace. I hate feeling defensive and like a perfectionist but my work ethic is something I take a lot of pride in and so poorly delivered criticism is a passion killer for me.

    I do get stressed easily if I feel like I’m being rushed and pressured. I don’t do well in large teams and or large group interaction with clients. I definitely am more relaxed and in control in smaller settings where I can express my thoughts without background noise and distraction.

    I actually am very dissatisfied with my career industry as a whole. Not because I don’t like the trade itself, but because I don’t like the industry standards. The pay is low, the expectation is high, creativity is boxed in and I absolutely cannot stand “customers” in a retail format. I’m currently over qualified for the job I have. I like it for the most part, but a few people can get under my skin and ruin the whole experience. I hate that I allow that.
     
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  7. Tin Man

    Tin Man "a respectable amount of screaming"

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    1. Fairly well. If someone is using criticism as a tool to make me aware of issues in my performance, I try to take it on board. It'll sting a bit, and I might find myself becoming defensive. But usually, I can take a step back and look at their input objectively

    That said, I've come across quite a few people who use "constructive criticism" as a way to dismiss or demean you in some way. And then when you disagree with their criticisms, they claim you're not being objective. They can go eat a bag a dicks.

    2. All depends on the job. I work in IT, and part of that is people, and part is systems. When working on systems, I rarely get stressed out or angry (apart from those "why do you hate me computer" moments). But with people, it happens more often.

    3. I suppose that's all on perspective. I can come across either way, depending on whom I'm working with. But if we're focusing purely on a binary choice, then I suppose negative nelly. I tend to be fairly critical myself, so I can be seen as pessimistic when my intent is to give an objective breakdown of the situation.

    4. Yes and no. I studied English lit, philosophy, and psychology in college. So IT is pretty far from that path. I began my career life focused on study and learning for the sake of it. My goals were about gathering knowledge and gaining a greater understanding of the nature of reality.

    But that don't pay the bills. And I went through many crappy, menial jobs just to live. So in the end, I sold out and went into something I enjoy, but don't feel passionately about. It's a good medium to reach. Still, if I had the skills and savvy I have know, I think I could have made a career out of something I loved.
     
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  8. Piotrek Dzierzynski

    Piotrek Dzierzynski Regular Poster

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    I have no issue when criticism is constructive.

    There are simply too many snowflakes in this world who take everything too personally and expect only to hear how wonderful they are.
     
  9. OP
    kfg(atj

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    Let us all strive to be more like you.
     
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  10. Milktoast Bandit

    Milktoast Bandit Every thing for everything else...

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    How do you handle constructive criticism?

    Humility or murder... There is no in between.
     
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  11. Ginny

    Ginny Idiot Savante

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    And since one of them is illegal...
     
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  12. OP
    kfg(atj

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    Always providing the humor! You’re the best.
     
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  13. Milktoast Bandit

    Milktoast Bandit Every thing for everything else...

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    I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!
     
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  14. Milktoast Bandit

    Milktoast Bandit Every thing for everything else...

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    *Curtsies*
     
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  15. Ginny

    Ginny Idiot Savante

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    Yeah, puss out :p
     
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  16. Milktoast Bandit

    Milktoast Bandit Every thing for everything else...

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    I'm humbly hardcore!
     
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  17. Ren

    Ren Pin's android / The Maker

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    It may sound strange but this could have been written by me. Almost everything that you said there resonates with me. The only way I manage to not feel discouraged is by making a (sometimes huge) effort to look at even poorly delivered criticism as useful, from a self-improvement perspective. When it gets more complicated is when you start questioning whether the criticism is justified at all. Even somebody in a position of high formal authority can be wrong, and that's when it becomes almost impossible for me to continue working in a particular place. I need my bosses to pull me upwards, not draw me downwards.
     
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  18. Vict

    Vict mechanical and habitual agent
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    I admit I'm caught off guard if it's unexpected criticism. Like if I think I'm doing fine in something but someone tells me otherwise. I'll listen, but I definitely clam up and feel a bit of pressure over it.

    If it's criticism at a time when I expect it, like chatting with a manager about performance and such, then I'm perfectly mellow and take it in stride.
     
  19. Madgirl143

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    Not so well, I once cried in front of my boss, he was so surprised and it got awkward for him. I no longer do that, I liked that he understood though. I did take his advice and then worked at the things. These days I realise that it's just things I need to improve, I don't take it so seriously, so I'm now.

    Um not really, it depends on the office environment. If people are negative, it gets me down. But when I go for a job, I know I'll be able to survive it, but with colleagues, you never know what you'll get. And as long as I keep my personal and work life separate, I'm fine.

    I'm the positive pat, but it gets tiring, I can't do it constantly.

    I am not at the moment, but I am working hard to get it.
     
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  20. Marlize

    Marlize Community Member

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    1. I welcome constructive criticism. If there is something that can be improved, I want to know, no matter what it may be.

    2. Depending on workload and time. I only stress until I have mapped out and prioritised the duties that needs to be performed, then I apply an almost unbreakable concentration and get it done.

    3. I usually stay in the background until someone complains too much, I loose my patience and usually say something the like of "Yeah, you don't like it but it needs to be done so let's get it done." Which can spur on conflict.

    4. Currently very happy.
     
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