how do you feel when someone is mad at you? | INFJ Forum

how do you feel when someone is mad at you?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by uning, Sep 6, 2009.

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  1. uning

    uning Newbie

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    infjs when you do or say things wrong and hurt someone you care about, a friend, girlfriend or boyfriend, mom or dad, just anyone you have deep feelings for, how do you feel and react? do you feel really guilty and dwell on it for too long not taking any action? do you freeze and don't know what do to and how to make things right? or do you go and apologise immediately? is it hard for you? do you remeber what you've done for a long time or just quickly move on? how do you usually make it up to that person?
     
  2. myself

    myself Permanent Fixture

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    If something is wrong I will make sure the issue is resolved. Each circumstance would require a different response. My approach would also really depend on the individuals involved.

    Hard to get any more detailed about something so broad.

    I naturally avoid such circumstances.

    If I'm in the wrong I will be sincerely sorry.

    but I'm rarely ever wrong...
     
  3. Shai Gar

    Shai Gar Guest

    cold anger back at them.
     
  4. laurie

    laurie Snowblind in Dreamland

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    Depends on who's fault it was usually, but I find it very difficult to be angry with people I love, because I know it's not a long-term thing and mostly it's a reaction to them saying/doing something that upsets me unjustly.
    I find it easier to get angry with my friends, no clue why. Probably because I'm not half as close to them as to my family ^^" I must've been brainwashed in school 'cause I also find it difficult to get anything more than frustrated with anyone over twenty, probably a weird fear of authority.
    If I do get angry though, I'm more open with it around family. I don't yell but I keep arguing my point until it's resolved, or there's some form of closure. With friends, I usually don't show it at all until I'm alone with the one that annoyed me, or I'm talking to them online/over text so that I don't have to deal with others getting upset over it.
    I'm much better with my anger than I used to be though, I used to just always hold it in until it exploded ^^"
     
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  5. Indie.J

    Indie.J Community Member

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    If someone is mad at me and it is my fault then I am sincerely sorry and try my hardest to fix things (not before dwelling on the solution for a bit of course).

    If someone is mad at me for some stupid reason that is definitely not my fault then I admit I can be pretty cold, stubborn and harsh. The way I look at it is, they started the problem and I'm not going to waste my time fixing it for them. I like to make sure people know that I won't come desperately grovelling to them for forgiveness on unreasonable terms and that any friendship with me is one of equal standing. Saying that though I'm fairly easy going most of the time, I just don't want to be pushed around because of it.
     
  6. Pristinegirl

    Pristinegirl Well-known member

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    Oh my these situations are so hard for me. I cannot stand the thought of making someone meaningful mad. When this happens and its truly my fault then I appologize. Otherwise I will start feel guilty, like I have let them down and like I'm a failiure.

    Although if I haven't done anything wrong, and someone is mad anyway. Then I rather stand up for myself.
     
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  7. Nela

    Nela Community Member

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    First of all I will do anything that's in my power not to get into a conflict. When it does happen, well I usually take it pretty badly. I feel very guilty, to the point that I can't stop thinking about it. It wouldn't take long before I take action to solve it, because I feel really bad when I'm having these unsolved problems with people I care about. I normally know what to do to make things right, and I'm perfectly capable of admitting that I was wrong, so I will apologise if I was. I guess it's not hard for me to apologise, but I have to say that it depends on the person I'm having the argument with. After the argument is solved I won't remember it all that long and move on.
     
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  8. Orion

    Orion Strength through understanding
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    It's rare but if it was my fault, then extreme guilt.

    I will try to resolve it as soon as possible- usually as soon as the issue comes up.
     
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  9. NekoLove

    NekoLove Regular Poster

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    I feel extreme guilt even when I only THINK someone is mad at me. It has gotten a lot better since my eating disorder program, but man, I used to feel like I was dying if someone treated me coldly.
     
  10. Julia

    Julia Community Member

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    I feel terrible especially if I am partly at fault by not being aware of something or wording something poorly. I feel unresolved until the conflict is cleared up. I also imagine the scenario from their viewpoint to try to understand how they are seeing it. I get especially rattled if their reaction makes no sense to me.

    If the person isn't close to me it makes me a little sleepy when they misunderstand or think the worst of me. I also can get into a fatalistic mindset of "Here we go again. No one can really know or understand another person. We are all alone and there is no true way to connect. Existential isolation etc."
     
  11. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    I'm always pissed off at them too, angry that I can't change their feelings or that they don't just get over whatever they were angry about, because I deem what they are angry about pointless and trivial. Usually I'm just frustrated that they don't see the same things that I do.
     
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    #11 slant, Sep 6, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2009
  12. foureyes

    foureyes Community Member

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    I feel horrible and apologize immediatly and then still feel guilty about it afterwards.
    I try and make it up to the person and myself by learning from the mistake so hopefuly I will never make it again.
    For the most part tho, I don't get mad, I get sad.
     
    #12 foureyes, Sep 6, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2009
  13. Complicated

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    If someone important to me and have deep feelings for are mad at me I will feel really guilty and somehow would try to put the blame on myself even though I am only partly at fault with it. I will dwell on it too and try to make things right again (but honestly its hard to fix something that is already broken)

    any other person that i am not emotionally attached it doesn't have such a profound affect on me and will usually stand up for myself if i have been wronged.
     
  14. daydreamer

    daydreamer Permanent Fixture

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    Yeah, I always feel really bad even if I'm right and it's not my fault. I always end up apologizing.
     
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