How do people (mis)type you?
- Thread starter Ren
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Ren
Seeker at heart
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Thanks for your input @Gaze
(I hope you are well, by the way. Glad to see you're back.)I'm wondering whether this ESTJ perception would only apply to people who've interacted with you superficially at the work place, or perhaps in the initial stages. Do you think there are some among your more long-term colleagues that may still perceive you as ESTJ?
I know that, from my own experience, I was able to detect my former boss's INFPness after a little while.
Gaze
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Thanks for your input @Gaze
I'm wondering whether this ESTJ perception would only apply to people who've interacted with you superficially at the work place, or perhaps in the initial stages. Do you think there are some among your more long-term colleagues that may still perceive you as ESTJ?
I know that, from my own experience, I was able to detect my former boss's INFPness after a little while.
Well, this is based on my management experience in education, so I can't say whether these perceptions are widespread. I am very reserved when I'm not in front of others doing my thing, and it's been pointed out that I don't give much of myself away. I likely don't appear to others the way I feel. When I open up, I can seem quite different than I appear when I'm not engaging with others. But that can be said for many people, so don't think that's unusual. But people have thought I was definitely extroverted or ENTJ at least. Thing is, I don't really talk about personality typing with colleagues very often except on a few occasions although I think it's really useful if it was discussed more. I think it definitely shapes our management and interaction styles. Being tough all the time or never being tough doesn't really work. Always a balance, although it's not easy to find it.
For example, I do or did have a very TJ approach to managing when I first started out, but that didn't fly well, so I reluctantly softened my approach over a period of time. Now, I'm more comfortable using an NxP approach. However, I'm better at balance F and T when I'm giving feedback or advice, but very TJ (although I try to tone it down with a little Fe) when I'm evaluating. I think that's part of being in this profession (education).
I've always thought that there is a huge difference between the type of personality you may have to demonstrate for the sake of what you do, and your own natural personality. I can be very dominant but usually with someone who is less dominant than I am (such as my best friend -ISFJ, because she is very similar to me but far more passive and subdued than I am). I often match my personality to those I'm around, so a little chameleonish. Just like many here, you learn to maneuver social situations. We can appear very passive in one but dominant in another. I'd rather be relaxed and easy going than have to be aggressive to get people to what they should, because it's sometimes more of a drain on the system and waste of energy to keep being dominant. Just stressful especially if the other person keeps pressuring and can't compromise, and doesn't understand balance.
I'm sure there are some who see me as ESTJ. Also depends on the person or situation. If you show compassion, you can be seen as a pushover, if you're very authoritative, then you're seen as a dictator who is not nice.
It's pretty subjective. Rarely, do people process that what you do depends on the job and what you are trying to accomplish. I'm very results oriented, and had to learn to be more people oriented over time. I'm pretty good though at hiding some of my thoughts and feelings and good at reflecting what others expect. So, someone may see us as a particular type because we reflect what they expect or what is necessary in that situation, though that may not be who we are or how we perceive ourselves to be. I'm sure others feel the same. I really don't see myself as really that unique anymore, the way I used to process being a particular type. Hope I didn't confuse you too much with all this. Please feel free to take it apart. Typing is not something I define myself by anymore but I think it's a useful tool to understand different traits or qualities especially motivations. I've been typed on this forum as INFP, but typed in real life by an MBTI expert as INTP. I do express a ton of Fi online, so it makes sense. Who knows.
Ginny
Shrrg
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There was a time back when I was working in a club, and in the last months I worked there I felt I had to fill some void and took up the mantle as the most senior person at that post. The newbies didn't like my authorativeness, so I eventually became soft again. Bitches were slow where efficiency and speed was key. Slackers, had to pick up theirs. Until I quit. I really don't miss the place.f you show compassion, you can be seen as a pushover, if you're very authoritative, then you're seen as a dictator who is not nice.
Lurk
[ what ]
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It's funny because I've been "mistyped" as both an extrovert and a "thinker" of sorts, though people irl aren't generally familiar with mbti so I'm speaking in general terms.
And then when people really get to know me they figure out I'm not really either of those things
I've also had people peg me as arrogant and scary and all sorts of weird things. I think it's just because I am sort of closed off to people at first.
:rainbowlove: I thought you seemed passive-aggressive when our avatars first met. You have a sly sense of humor.
I walked on eggshells for a bit because I figured you were going to ban me.
Ren
Seeker at heart
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Not saying anything, but if I'd been a mod when you posted that first post on my "What philosophy do you enjoy the most" thread, I'd have almost banned you.
I'm joking...
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Lol what! What did I even do? My humor doesn't translate well online sometimes. My apologies.
Lurk
[ what ]
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- INTP
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You didn't do anything wrong!
My humor translates horribly. I could tell when you were joking, but I still thought I was going to be banned. lol
It was more about my tendency to be snappy.
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Ren
Seeker at heart
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LOL, I was thinking that the only time I wondered whether you were making fun of me, you used this very emoji
I should check again though. Maybe this is all my imagination.
Lurk
[ what ]
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Gaze
Donor
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The think that gets me about those who slack is that they think it's your fault they're not doing the job well. They think it's always the responsibility of someone else to constantly be at their throats for them to get things done, or else it's ok to be mediocre or do nothing. They don't take responsibility for themselves. It's always someone else's jobs to push them or push them harder. I don't think many people get that most jobs today require you to be independent, self sufficient, self driven, and self motivated. No one should have to be standing over anyone's shoulder to ensure they're doing their job apart from a few check ins. I've never seen the goal of management as pushing someone around to get things done. There has to be some self motivation, drive, or ambition. No one should be depending on others to do what they should be doing for themselves.
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LOL, I was thinking that the only time I wondered whether you were making fun of me, you used this very emoji
I should check again though. Maybe this is all my imagination.
I honestly don't recall ever making fun of you, unless it was something intended out of love/humor. If I make fun of anybody it's generally either because I have love for them or they're being stupid/ignorant and I'm attempting to show them they're stupid/ignorant... out of love/compassion.
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OUCH
I don't regret it.
You'll regret getting banned from here though!
You've been warned
Lurk
[ what ]
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- INTP
- Enneagram
- 6,9 & 4
opo:
Ren
Seeker at heart
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Oh it was definitely, totally in jest, and I took it as such
Sorry if I didn't make that clear enough in the previous post.I found it anyway:
Haha. Two days after I joined! I don't know what's up with my memory, but this shall be immortalized :<3violet:
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Ren
Seeker at heart
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Oh I remember that! I was actually just super interested in your thoughts on my contrarian comment. Seeing as you're well versed in such things I thought it a humorous contemplation
Thank you Wy. I'm glad you found the answer satisfactory
Incidentally, while revisiting that thread I caught your mention of the idea of "open essence" sort of resonating with you. I'd forgotten about that. So in a way, when I shared that blog post with you about the openness that connects people, we were living a moment already experienced... Nietzsche's eternal return, hehe!
Or maybe it's all just an Ni thing.