Ex not blocking my number | Page 7 | INFJ Forum

Ex not blocking my number

slant said:
My experience is that when people ghost it's because they want to avoid conflict. Most people aren't comfortable being honest and direct so they like to ignore things instead, in their head thinking " they'll figure it out". I've had this happen to me a few times and it's frustrating because I'm a direct person and I try to give them every possible out so they can give me resolution AND not feel like an asshole about that. But usually it doesn't work. People will still feel shitty theyd just rather not have to own up to it.

It's a maturity thing, really. But my problem was I wanted resolution and I have to remind myself that people like that are never going to be able to give you resolution because their coping mechanism is to run away. So either you torment yourself trying to get them to make you your mind or you let go.

I've tried to reflect on it but I'm not sure why it bothers me so much when I can't have resolution to something- because technically them not responding is an answer in themselves - I think in some way I'm Angry and want them to take responsibility since I'm willing too. Kinda of about wanting them to reciprocate- I'm being vulnerable and honest, why can't you? But you can't expect other people to fulfill your emotional needs. Then when you can't, what do you do with those emotions?

Feel them.

Acknowledge them.

Wonder why you're experiencing them.


And don't judge yourself for it.

Practice some self compassion here and think about how it is really sad that you love someone who is unable to even respond to your messages.

Now think,

How did I get into this situation?

Again don't judge yourself. Legitimately ask yourself that question and think about it honestly.

The reason I wasnt able to let go was because I believed that if I was patient enough he would fall in love with me. Which honestly isn't healthy thinking. Either someone loves you or they don't. Feelings take time to develop but at the same time, you somehow have to figure out where to draw the line and what is unproductive.

And honestly? Nobody in this forum can tell you what that line is. Psychology has its recommendations and society sets it's standards, but you begin to realize there are exceptions to rules.

For me I experienced so much emotional pain with no return at all that I had to ask myself:

Am I living for me or for other people?

Because if you're living for you, and you love someone in a way that makes you really unhappy, the person that benefits from that is the other person not you. You suffer for it. Do you want your entire life to be a favor to somebody who may never love you back?

It's a choice you can make.

I know a lot of people who are into that, who pine after people fruitlessly, hoping. That's their choice though and if it makes them happy that's fine. It's just that I find most of the time it causes self hatred.
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You’re 100% correct! Now that I am blocked the process of moving on can happen. Do I love her? Absolutely! But it’s obvious she’s done with me at least for now. Maybe forever but I can’t speculate on that.

Hating myself is what I was doing. Because the end was largely my fault. Not 100% but a bit part was me.

Even texting was a mistake. The last one was accidental. There probably was a crack in the door for later. I just chased too much/

I’ve never been one to chase. This is new. So, without any other option than to move on or stay stuck in a fruitless endeavor loving unrequited, moving on is the best option.
 
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April said:
Not saying anything bad about ENTPs in general because I love them, but rather an unhealthy ENTP... this sounds familiar. I know one and omg this sounds like something she'd do just to stir up shit.
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I never got along with ENxx types. She does seem to be of that fold. I love how it was concluded that I was a specific person. Interesting
 
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Deleted member 16771 said:
Yup, that's what we thought.

Silly person hijacking your thread, and now you have to deal with people doubting you.
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It’s fine. Actually it was pretty funny. I feel bad for this person if any of that was true.
At first it seemed like sarcasm at the beginning.
 
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April said:
Not saying anything bad about ENTPs in general because I love them, but rather an unhealthy ENTP... this sounds familiar. I know one and omg this sounds like something she'd do just to stir up shit.
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Skrimpshidy said:
I never got along with ENxx types. She does seem to be of that fold. I love how it was concluded that I was a specific person. Interesting
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Skrimpshidy said:
It’s fine. Actually it was pretty funny. I feel bad for this person if any of that was true.
At first it seemed like sarcasm at the beginning.
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I wouldn't put much stock in what she posted. It just sounds like someone venting. And like @April said if even a little of what she said was true she should go directly to the police. Outhereonmyown76 didn't indicate that she went to the police by instead she vented here. Obviously she has problems in what ever relationship she has and I feel sorry for her for that.
 
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Skrimpshidy said:
You’re 100% correct! Now that I am blocked the process of moving on can happen. Do I love her? Absolutely! But it’s obvious she’s done with me at least for now. Maybe forever but I can’t speculate on that.

Hating myself is what I was doing. Because the end was largely my fault. Not 100% but a bit part was me.

Even texting was a mistake. The last one was accidental. There probably was a crack in the door for later. I just chased too much/

I’ve never been one to chase. This is new. So, without any other option than to move on or stay stuck in a fruitless endeavor loving unrequited, moving on is the best option.
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You only respond to posts which give you the opportunity to say what you think she wants to hear
 
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April said:
Yes. :p
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I've been here a long time and it seems to happen often enough that disturbed people or those with ulterior motives join and no one has any clue until something blows up.

That said. Idk wtf is going on in this thread. But it's interesting to me an accusation was posted to personality cafe earlier in June and now here. I didn't dig to see if OP is on PC.
 
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