ENTP Female confused about sexual relationships. | INFJ Forum

ENTP Female confused about sexual relationships.

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Matariki, Oct 18, 2009.

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  1. Matariki

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    I'm a tad confused on this subject, very confused actually.

    For starters how does love work?

    How does one fall in love?

    What is the purpose of love?

    What would be the ideal partner for the ENTP?

    How do I know If someone is hitting on me?

    How do I flirt with someone?


    During my teens I was homeschooled and I didn't interact much with kids my own age so please be sensitive. :m136:

    Im not much of a flirting type and would not be comfortable juggling around with peoples emotions and feelings.

    I am quite blunt about things and very open. I am also a very loyal person and would not fully devote myself to anyone else until I am sure of their loyalty towards me. If I had someone who cheated on me I would not be afraid to walk out the door.

    I am not picky about what one looks like (often people make fun of me for saying this)

    Personally I don't think I'm worthy of anyone's loyalty or time.

    A quick question, what do INFJ's think of ENTP's as far as friendship or a sexual relationship goes?
     
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  2. Sithious

    Sithious Well-known member

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    Hello thar
     
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  3. OP
    Matariki

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    Uh...... Hi? :m125:
     
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  4. Questingpoet

    Questingpoet Not Afraid to Use His Beard
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    Wow, that's a lot of tough questions in one post! I'll try to chime in on a few of them. First off, remember you are 19 and there are people my age still pondering these questions--there are no easy answers!

    How does love work? Whoa, how does fate, destiny, and karma work? That is one philosophers have debated for eons. I can only answer for myself. It is different for each person. At it's best it is a combination of the spiritual, the physical, and the emotional. It's about making a connection on all three levels. It's about mutual attraction and dependance. It's about caring and supporting. It's about reveling in your mutual weirdness. In the end, you have to define it for yourself.

    How does one fall in love? My best advice here is don't TRY to fall in love. You can't force it, and if you are consciously looking for it, you probably won't find it. Be the best person you can be, and stay open to the idea of it.

    What is the purpose of love? Again, it is probably different for each person. We all have different needs and different ways of showing love. Define it for yourself. But don't ever look for another to fill in the parts of yourself that you don't like. That's a setup for failure! Here are some links that talk about the different ways we perceive (or communicate) love.


    http://hubpages.com/hub/Love-Languages

    http://edified.org/myspace/lovelanguage

    Oh, and don't confuse sex with love. Love does encompass sex (in partners). But sex is not love. I hope this helps.
     
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    #4 Questingpoet, Oct 18, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2009
  5. Puck

    Puck Perilous Pixie
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    All of these have the same sort of answer, from my perspective. It's such a personal thing - only you can define the meaning of things in your own life, and so what you think is important, or what you value, is what is right for you. Pretty much what Questingpoet said, actually. You should listen to him.

    I understand this. Isolation can cause us to feel that we don't fit in with everyone else, but everyone else has their own perceived handicaps too, which we might not even notice or consider important unless they pointed them out to us.
    You could also consider how this period in your life has given you advantages over other people - there are always two sides to a coin.

    These are all admirable traits and writing it down helps you to understand your motivations even more. I could suggest that you write your own answer to all the questions you provided in the earlier part of your post, because what you say here already goes a long way in clarifying where you stand on issues like flirting.

    This comes down to self-esteem. If you feel down on yourself for whatever reason, the first person to work on making happy is you, before you think of other people. When you're happy with you, then the rest will come naturally. Horrible old cliches I know, but it's true, at least from what I've come to understand so far in life.

    It depends on the person. Personality as defined by MBTI is only one mirror of life, from which I can tell some things about a group of people, but not enough to say that I would like or love every single one of them. I can say that,on the whole ENTP seems to be a likeable , quirky and dynamic personality, all of which appeal to me in some way or other, though perhaps not all the time. That's just me though, and who's to say I'm a typical INFJ, if indeed one at all, apart from a set of scores on a test? Anyway, I wish you well. You seem like a good person.
     
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  6. daydreamer

    daydreamer Permanent Fixture

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    1. You can tell. I sometimes do if I have a dream of teh person.
    2. You meet someone and get to know them. Then you start to fall in love.
    3. To be with someone who loves you for who you are and whom you can love back.
    4. INFJ or INFP (I'm sure about the INFJ, but not much about the INFP).
    5. Pick up lines, looking at you, giving you a smile, etc.
    6. Sorry, I can't answer that one, for I am not very good at it either and that is something I wish to know as well.
     
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  7. muir

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    Don't rush things, take your time to get to know someone. Don't put too much faith in some hollywood constructed idea of 'love at first sight'. Love is made up of many things and can grow with time.

    There aren't always definate answers, we just have to try things sometimes and often we learn more from our mistakes than from our successes.
     
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    #7 muir, Oct 19, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2009
  8. Gaze

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    For starters how does love work?
    - It's a feeling, a process, a mood, an attitude, a thought, a dream, a pain, a reason, a tone, a longing, an action, a scene, and a work in progress

    How does one fall in love?
    - Don't go looking for love. Instead, focus on developing a healthy self-concept which is not based on anyone's recognition
    - Live your life with purpose / develop who you are as a person
    - Think about what you want to accomplish in your life
    - Think about your unique talents, skills, abilities, etc.
    - Foster healthy relationships with family + friends
    - Then, without you being conscious of it, you will shine and attract others unintentionally

    What is the purpose of love?
    - Only you can determine that when the time comes.
    - Love means different things to different people.
    - Depends on what you're looking for in a partner

    What would be the ideal partner for the ENTP?
    - Someone who complements your strengths and weaknesses
    - Someone who fits your personality but challenges you a bit

    How do I know If someone is hitting on me?
    - You may not be able to tell unless you observe their behavior long enough
    - Get to know people, and observe their communication patterns
    - Then see whether their behavior or responses change depending on who they are speaking to, when, and where

    How do I flirt with someone?
    - Just be the you that you would be (without feeling or thinking that you have to apologize for it)
    - Try but don't try too hard
    - Relax and focus on enjoying their company
    - Enjoy your own company as well - people are often attracted to someone who is confident and comfortable being themselves (or that's what I keep hearing)
     
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    #8 Gaze, Oct 19, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 19, 2009
  9. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    What is the purpose of love?
    In my opinion love defines a feeling that someone else knows exactly who you are (You have to be willing to make this information available to them) and you would be willing to give up any part, or all, of yourself to protect that person. You would NEVER do anything to traumatize that person. I think healthy love means that the other person feels the same way about you.

    I love a few different people, my parents included. My parents are the only people I feel unconditional love for, which means they could do ANYTHING and I would never stop loving them. Even if my mom came at me with a butcher knife, I might knock her out for self preservation but I would never stop loving her. TRUST ME, I did not always feel this way about my parents. They were at my side holding me up when I couldn't hold myself up on multiple occasions. They have never given up on me. I would give them anything to repay this.

    The concept of a man loving a woman and having children together adds sex into the equation. Sex is traditionally used to produce children, but it is also a great source of pleasure for many people. Many people mistake the desire for sex as love.

    How does one fall in love?
    You don't, when you meet a person that defines the characteristics mentioned above, it happens. There is no defined process of making it happen.

    How do I know If someone is hitting on me?
    Good question. Everyone is different. Every situation is different. There are general guidlines, but I have enough trouble analyzing this myself.

    How do I flirt with someone?
    Study body language. You need to become confident in yourself.
     
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    #9 NeverAmI, Oct 20, 2009
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2009
  10. Norton

    Norton XXXX

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  11. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Just practice by talking to people and if you're interested in someone, let them know.
     
  12. slant

    slant Sedated slanty

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    I'll be the first one on the forum to offer the idea that love does not exist, which is why you are confused about it.
     
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  13. OP
    Matariki

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    Now I'm really confused.
     
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  14. Gaze

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    Love exists, it just takes some time to figure out what love is for you. It's not one singular thing. It often depends on who you're with and the experience you have with them.
     
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  15. Wyst

    Wyst Are you there?

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    Hey there - I was homeschooled until I was 18. Now I'm 28 and I'm still asking the questions you're asking so I can really empathize with what's on your mind and heart.

    I've never had a real girlfriend (one that lived in the same city as me - they were all short-lived LDRs) and am horrible at expressing interest in someone.

    I've been friends with this woman for over half a year and recently I've been developing feelings for her. Its extremely tough to know how I should act around her. Being homeschooled, I feel like I missed out on this part of growing up - it's like I'm 12 years old again anytime I'm around her.

    Honestly, I'm trying to be really laid back in my approach, take it easy, and allow myself to be comfortable around her while getting to know her and letting her get to know me better all at the same time.

    It's taking a lot of patience. In my mind, there's "platonic friendship" and "committed relationship" with nothing between. I don't know how to get from friends to more than friends. But I don't think warping from one stage to another is wise or considerate to the other person.

    Just be yourself, have fun, be honest with your feelings (if you're sad, be sad, if you're angry, be angry, if you're happy, be happy etc.) because it's not good to put on a mask and portray a false image of yourself - I think you'll only end up impeding your own ability to be relaxed and natural around whoever it is you're interested in.

    Talk to the person. Be friendly. Sometimes it helps me to have a "plan" for what I'm going to talk about. If I go up to her and just try to wing it by starting out with "Hi" and nothing else... it gets awkward pretty quick. Just like if someone asked you "Hey, can you give something to ___ for me?", you'd have a reason to talk to them and would help you feel more comfortable.

    So give yourself a reason to talk to them. Decide what you want to talk to them about or ask them. I think asking questions is one of the best ways to show interest. I mean, you ask questions because you care, right?

    Hope that helps :m054:
     
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