Because Floorbinatus the Lawn Gnome God and Isfatheth the Mother Goddess of Plastic Pink Flamingos are in a cosmic struggle to determine the fate of the sacred PET bottle, and we don't want to anger Isfatheth with the blasphemous practice of burying stuff since Floorbinatus conspires to plant infernal lawn gnome foci in every yard, forming a massive global gnome network which would drain all the funk out of the world, sending it off as a beacon to summon the Gnome Archon Triumvirate from The Outer Rim and...
Bleh I'm way too tired for this.
Why my brain no worky?