Enigma: the most confusing types... | INFJ Forum

Enigma: the most confusing types...

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Joy, Dec 8, 2008.

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  1. Joy

    Joy Newbie

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    Personally, I'm an INFJ, but this applies to anyone. What is the most confusing type you've encountered, one on one? What puzzled you? I'll go first.
    There is this guy that I work with. He is an absolute puzzle, yet I'm attracted to him. He's shy, but I'm sure it's only when I'm around, and when I ask a specific question, if it's the slightest bit controversial, he reply with an, "I don't know" or some qualifying answer. At times, he'll be more open, and then suddenly he'll snap shut. Can anyone decode his type? That would make my job a lot easier. Also, would a relationship of any kind be beneficial? Or are our types too different?
     
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  2. SpoofyMcPoof

    SpoofyMcPoof Community Member

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    He probably is attracted to you if he's shy around you; and avoiding answering controversial questions is his way of trying to stay on your good side; he doesn't want to answer a question to then find out that your answer is the exact opposite. I used to do this all the time. Will he answer the question if you put out your answer first? If so, I'd say he's a definite people pleaser.

    He's definitely an introvert, the sudden 'closing off' could be clue to this. How does he act around other people? That could give further clue to his type. Or you could straight out ask him what his MBTI is/recommend he take it for fun. Most people like to find out about themselves and he just may do it.

    It could be benificial, but the most important parts may not be your type (there's all sorts of question as to which type goes best with what and no one can seem to agree) but other things like do you have the same ideals, at least some similar interests, similar goals/walks in life, are your interactions fun, and stuff like that. I would say the type comes in as handy not as a match-making tool but as a guide to best communicate with yourself and with each other

    I think the strangest types I meet are the TP types. Being an FJ means I work so much differently than them; ironically enough a lot of my friends are TP types. One of my best friends is really good at balancing out my 'super feeling' with his logical proccesses but at times the communication gap is frustrating. Of all of them, the ESTP is probably the oddest to me; but they can be fun for that very reason...I crave variety in interaction :m172:
     
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    #2 SpoofyMcPoof, Dec 8, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2008
  3. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    They're all pretty confusing in their own ways.

    Edit: Actually strong Ts confuse me, make me wonder "how can you be so cold?".
     
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    #3 Quinlan, Dec 8, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2008
  4. IndigoSensor

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    I don't find them confusing per-say. I just find ESTJ and ISTJ extordaniatly irrating and mean... and as such avoid them quite a bit.
     
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  5. enigma

    enigma Armed and Fabulous!

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    *I* confuse me - forget about anyone else!
     
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  6. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
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    ^ seems you are to blame here *suspicious look*

    :wink:

    If he's only shy when you're around methinks someone's got a crush :D

    Sounds IxTx maybe P based on what you've said but you haven't revealed much so who knows.
     
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  7. enigma

    enigma Armed and Fabulous!

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    *smiles evily and adds Lurker to The List*
     
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  8. Lurker

    Lurker Has nothing to destroy
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    You jays and your lists, so organised :rolleyes:
     
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  9. ec3khrl

    ec3khrl Community Member

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    I have to go for ESTJs !
    Managed to persuade them to take the test so it's not my subjective judgment on their type.

    The two I have encountered in the office drove me totally nuts really, absolutely absurd in their observations and daily handling of things, yet they are not stupid at all either.

    They seem to be indifferent to being unpopular, I have spent a full year trying to help her out to get along with everyone better in the office and understand her more in the process.

    But the more she opened up to me, the more confused I became.
    It's very tiring and frustrating to communicate with them.
    One of them put a disgusted smirk on her face sometimes when I was talking to her, and she called me her friend.

    Is that how you treat a friend by putting a damn smirk on your face when someone care for you? I gave up eventually, it's not worth it at all.

    They both ended up being loners, withdrawing herself from everyone, yet I was told that they don't like being isolated.
    Then, why would someone choose to do something they dread so much about ?

    I am quite comfortable with ISTJs though, one happens to be a best friend of mine.
     
  10. gloomy-optimist

    gloomy-optimist Used to live here

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    Types don't confuse me. I'm actually usually very good at decoding people and their motivations for their actions.

    There are some people that are terribly inconsistent and unhealthy, though...I have more problems with them, but that's because they're off the path of normal thought patterns and are totally unpredictable
     
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  11. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    Based on what you said, I have absolutely no idea what his type is. He sounds like he may have some problem though.
     
  12. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Need more info on him.
     
  13. Duty

    Duty Permanent Fixture

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    ESTPs and ISFPs are the most confusing types to me.

    ESTPs I just don't understand their motivations. Even though they are thinkers, I've found most that I have met to be very emotional when it suits their purpose...almost in a mildly sociopathic way. In addition, they love to site how reasonable they are, but they tend to be poor at actual reasoning. It goes even further when they get in their "demand for respect" moments...the ones I've met have a very twisted sense of what "respect" is (to them respect seems to be agreement with them and submission to their will) and are extremely pushy in demanding it.

    ISFPs are confusing to me when they reject what they call "logic," by saying it has no use. What they are usually truly campaigning against is "objective standard" as they find objective standards oppressive (why should I have to dress the standard, why should I have to get a job like everyone else, why can't I just be unique?). Unfortunately, explaining to them there is no freedom in denying that "If you pull this grenade pin, it will explode" usually proves nearly useless. Not all ISFPs are like this by any means, they're just the type most likely to hold this point of view.



    Now, the types most frustrating to me are ESTJs and ISTJs, especially the extroverted kind, but at least I get their point of view...I understand the lens they are seeing the world through, so they aren't exactly confusing.
     
    #13 Duty, Jul 20, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2009
  14. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    He doesn't sound like he has a problem. He seems shy or reserved and not interested in being controversial (at work at least.) Other than that, it's impossible to tell anything else about him.
     
  15. Quinlan

    Quinlan Right the First Time!

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    ISFP Idealism maybe? consider a world where everyone was judged as an ISFP judges others, that's their ideal perhaps. We are much more adept at evaluating virtue in others and ourselves than we are at evaluating by standards we see as arbitrary. Maybe the ISFP lives in a fantasy where social context is minimal. Just some random thoughts.
     
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  16. Duty

    Duty Permanent Fixture

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    I do understand that ISFPs love, more then anything, freedom. They find the freedom to express and live the way they want to be of extreme interest (because they are ethical and true to themselves, why do they need people to impose so many rules on them?). I think ISFPs find topics like logic and intellectual debate to be stifling to freedom because these topics depend on an objective, agreed-upon standard. Objective standards are just the bane of an ISFP, because (to an ISFP) they are linear and don't allow for much freedom/expression. Being completely subjective is ok to an ISFP because they rely on their ability to be virtuous and honest with themselves...their subjective standards are good.

    So many come to reject what they think is "logical thinking." "I have my own way of reasoning and it's just as good as logical thinking," is often what they say.

    What I find so hard to understand is how ISFPs don't understand that logical thinking is a consequence of goal-oriented thinking. Logic is a critical tool to finding the most efficient, complete, and correct way to achieve a goal. That is its function. You could say that that logic is a natural result of organisms developing intelligence.

    What further confuses me is that ISFPs themselves use logic, but find it unconvincing when I point out examples of when they use it. Would you rather pay $10000 or $12000 for the same exact car? Well, logic tells you that "I want to pay the lowest price for the same product, $10000 < $12000, therefore I will buy the $10000 one." We make decisions like this throughout our day.
     
  17. IndigoSensor

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    That's because FP's do NOT want to be pegged down, at all.
     
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  18. Duty

    Duty Permanent Fixture

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    Exactly, it's the whole freedom thing.


    Would pegging them down as hating to be pegged down turn them off too? :p
     
  19. IndigoSensor

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    I have told that to an ENFP friend of mine and she got mad and tried to talk her way out of it. LOL
     
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  20. Duty

    Duty Permanent Fixture

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    I think this whole thing really is an Fi thing. As you said, FPs (which will all have Fi) just hate to be "labeled." I understand why completely...most people (especially J-types) have a very schema-driven way of thinking. To them, if you're, say, part of a political party then it's assumed you hold this set of views until you explain yourself otherwise, and if they "catch you" in something then it's hard to show them that they didn't catch you because they falsely assumed you were Republican and so were pro-life.

    Take, for example, you tell your SJ friend that you're Catholic, but later tell him you're gay. He thinks he has caught you in a major contradiction...because you can't be a gay Catholic. What he doesn't get is that you don't have to agree with every single Catholic belief in order to properly label yourself as a Catholic (and in fact many Catholics, especially in Europe, don't think ill of homosexuality at all). To him, especially being a J, the world is THIS WAY: and that way is that Catholics can't be gay. Why did you tell him you were Catholic when you truly aren't? Why are you trying to confuse me by telling me Catholics can be gay? I know the world is just not that way.

    Having those kinds of conversations can be very tiresome and frustrating, so I can understand why FPs don't like to label themselves.
     
    #20 Duty, Jul 21, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2009
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