Does it annoy you when people dont look you in the eyes? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Does it annoy you when people dont look you in the eyes?

Jill Hives said:
No one has the right to demand someone let you look into their eyes. It is a privilege, not a right.
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It's more of an exasperated sigh when people dont look me in the eyes. I guess it's acknowledgement I'd like.
 
Look me in the eyes and you are automatically shit-listed.

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I have not really paid attention to this before.

I only know that when I am talking to another guy about something that might be difficult, or very personal for him, I will stand next to him, so that we will both be looking at the view/horizon/etc.

I don't want to be looking at another guy's eyes when there is a possibility of some emotion like shame, sadness (or tears) may come into them. I just seems like a sign of respect, not to observe a guy's emotions. Women are the opposite - they seem to be hurt/annoyed if you don't see/ignore the emotion in their eyes.
 
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The only time I would mind not having an eye contact with someone is when I can clearly see that someone I'm talking with is looking over my shoulder at something else, and not paying attention to what I say. That's disrespectful. I have a good focus usually and people who can't have their eyes locked on me or anthing else for that matter can't make me less concentrated on what I'm saying (which is the reason I think they annoy other people among else).
 
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I have a problem with looking people in the eye for too long, it just gets to intense. If you have a conversation with someone do you look them in the eye for maybe 40 minutes non-stop? It doesn't mean I never look people in the eye, I had a friend like that once and after a while you just wanted to smack him and say "LOOK AT ME FFS".
 
You guys are lucky if lack of eye contact peeves you off...
Now here's a well thought out excuse thats been proven scientifically. :m083:

I have Aspergers, so it hurts for me to make eye contact with people which is why I don't choose to. The reason for this is because of the size of the amygdala nuclei which responsible for the following;

  • Arousal
  • Autonomic Responses Associated with Fear
  • Emotional Responses
  • Hormonal Secretions
  • Memory
The amygdala in my brain are smaller than normal people, so It has to work over time to process information by expanding itself. This is probably the key reason for people who are unable to sustain eye contact and keep retreating.
 
I can never decide which eye I'm supposed to look at, the left or the right? It's so frustrating.
 
Matariki said:
The reason for this is because of the size of the amygdala nuclei which responsible for the following;

  • Arousal
  • Autonomic Responses Associated with Fear
  • Emotional Responses
  • Hormonal Secretions
  • Memory
The amygdala in my brain are smaller than normal people, so It has to work over time to process information by expanding itself. This is probably the key reason for people who are unable to sustain eye contact and keep retreating.
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Interesting. I have some damage to my amygdala, and I've noticed a patent decline in all of these things, but I never associated them with Asperberger's. My anger issues have also begun to flare up more intensely and 'out of nowhere' when they actually do pop up. Another trait I've seen in Aspies. I hadn't considered that my eye contact issues were related to this. Interesting.
 
I don't care if someone is looking at me while I speak to them, as long as I know they're listening. Most people I meet cannot hold my gaze for very long, though. The I see what you did factor certainly plays a part, I imagine.

In conversations with friends, my eyes will generally be closed though. It lets me focus and articulate better than if they were open. None of my friends seem to mind as they know I'm paying keen attention.
 
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I don't care as long as they aren't texting. people have never really looked me right in the eye. my eyes are pretty deep set and appear small. I think that might be part of it.
 
I like to make eye contact but I don't freak out if someone doesn't make eye contact.
 
I prefer to make eye contact. But it's more of a 'yeah that's right' kind of thing. I'm fine if it comes and goes naturally in conversation, it's only irritating when people avoid it completely on purpose.
 
I'd actually prefer it if they not make eye contact.
 
I hate it when people text but too much eye contact is not an intuitive kind of thing. Ala the sensor death stare.
 
invisible said:
i often feel uncomfortable making eye contact with others especially if i feel nervous, or inferior to them in some way. it doesn't bother me if people don't want to make eye contact with me.
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The above if anything sounds more like the INFJ experience with eye contact to me. Or on the other side, when INFJs do make eye contact so as not to seem weird or do a bit of people reading, the eye contact valuing world can see our eye contact as too intense/focused or something.
 
I like eye contact, I make eye contact, if the other person does or doesn
 
It depends whether they avoid it because they're thinking or because they're being shady. I work with a lot of INTP's, for example - and they tend to look off and think abstractly in their heads. Classic N behavior. But I also know someone who wears an old, grungy Adidas ballcap every single of his life and he often looks at me at an angle, from under the brim and will flutter his eyes so they're closed a lot...I don't dig that.
 
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