Do you follow your own advice?
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Shai Gar
Lurker said:
I don't give advice unless asked. The posts here are direct requests for help or implied by the fact that the post is in the forum. IRL I lead by example or show by doing. I've learned a lot by now, but I do feel more like a Cassandra than a counselor. My friends and family ask for advice and when given good advice can't recognize it. Then they get bit and wonder why, hence my feeling like a Cassandra. Also, sometimes I do know things are going to happen before they actually do happen. Now I just keep quiet and let them do what they wanted to do in the first place. All the prophets have already spoken and paid the price. Am I making any sense?
HenRick said:
Kassandra is a reference to an Ancient Trojan Priestess who (according to mythology)was beloved of Apollo. He gifted her with foresight but when she tired of his love, spurned him. Slighted and spiteful, he cursed her gift so that no one would believe was foretold or followed her advise.
She warned the Trojans that the kidnapping of Helen would bring about the destruction of Troy. (Of course they didn't listen)
Since no one who asks my advise ever listens to me until things are fully and completely SNAFU'ed, I started calling my self a Kassandra a long time ago. Maybe somehow or another lots of INFJ's with the same problem are distant blood descendents or something.
And Kassandra was spelled with a 'K' in ancient times since there isn't a Greek or Latin equivalent to a 'C'.
GenlDevora said:
Ditto! I still give advice, but very rarely. Some people have to learn for themselves.
As far as following my own advice? Not a chance! I feel restricted . . . I guess I'm the "informed idiot", lol.
alcyone said:
Thank you. I have always called myself a Cassandra. I use the 'C' because Americans here are used to that letter for that name. The name could be used as an example of any good advice not followed in any kind of book or movie. I love Science Fiction. I have read nearly all the nutty and profound Terry Pratchett novels. Hope I spelled his last name right. I don't feel like digging for one of his books. -- Apollo was good looking, but shallow.
I don't always follow my advice, because things really are "easier said than done"
It doesn't matter to me either way though, advice is to help and if it's right it's right; it doesn't matter if you get a little hypocritical saying it, you're just showing them the right path that you can't take yourself.
It doesn't matter to me either way though, advice is to help and if it's right it's right; it doesn't matter if you get a little hypocritical saying it, you're just showing them the right path that you can't take yourself.
Okay I'm old and I yes, follow my own advise, which isn't as hard as it seems as my advise generally centers around fairly large principles/concepts with a massive amount of flexibility within those broad confines. The net result, once one sees/experiences the validity of the concepts, is one of almost total freedom. I've raised four kids, too, and I find following the same principles I present to them seems to work for all of us. Values are caught, not taught they say.
Ultimately yes,I do follow my own advice and I have to say I give myself some really good insights/perspectives;so much so;that I generally have to dissect it for hours because I know that its just too much on the money in some instances and I can't be that darn good,can I; :mrgreen: . I also work from home so I talk to myself outloud(and no I'm not nuts!) for sometimes hours every day as I also have to kind of coach myself through my daily job.The problem is when I start,I sometimes can't stop(like now!)and I keep bambling until I just wreck my own head!
eeh... well if I give advice at all, it's either because I follow it myself or it's heavily qualified by "for the record, I would not be able to do this in your situation..." I hate hypocrisy, and I detest it in myself. Often I feel like I know the best thing to do even if I can't/don't do it... and I can often confirm that it would have been, in fact, the best thing to do when not doing it lands me in trouble.
For the most part I don't give advice anymore though. I would when I was younger... but I quickly realized that people don't actually want it as frequently as I could come up with it. Now it's only if they ask for it specifically, or are about to make some mistake that will lead to major, major problems (girl inviting her ex-boyfriend to visit her at college when he'll have to share a room with him and her current boyfriend lives down the hall = major problems).
So it's tough to say... I certainly don't follow my own advice (due to lack of willpower), but I don't often give it either.
For the most part I don't give advice anymore though. I would when I was younger... but I quickly realized that people don't actually want it as frequently as I could come up with it. Now it's only if they ask for it specifically, or are about to make some mistake that will lead to major, major problems (girl inviting her ex-boyfriend to visit her at college when he'll have to share a room with him and her current boyfriend lives down the hall = major problems).
So it's tough to say... I certainly don't follow my own advice (due to lack of willpower), but I don't often give it either.
Yeah, I don't really get a chance to follow much of my advice because it is usually specialized for the individual person and situation they are in. Also, I don't go around stating platitudes often. I mostly just follow the deeper underlying rules/ideas that are present when presenting customized advice to people (the stuff that underlies why I am giving that advice, but am not sharing with the person because it wouldn't as efficiently address their problem or likely help them as much...If they care, they can come back to be later and always ask "What ideas was this advice built on?" and I will be glad to answer .
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Mostly, because generally any advice I give is based on personal experience. If it isn't, I make it clear that I'm speculating about what I would do if I were in the advice-seekers situation.
I don't tend to give advice unless I'm asked, either. But then I'm happy to help.
I don't tend to give advice unless I'm asked, either. But then I'm happy to help.